Take Care — Sgt. Tony Ludlow, blog post for 9/30/2015
A few years ago I was the guest speaker at Memphis University School’s weekly assembly. I had no formal connection to the school. I was never a student there, nor faculty member. But I knew the Head Master and the Academic Dean and both saw fit to invite me to ramble and babble before several hundred members of the all boys student body.
Unknown to me, the speaker the previous week had actually rambled and babbled … and went over his allotted time. He was a State Senator and showed up without a prepared talk. Apparently he assumed the boys and their faculty would be happily impressed with his stream of consciousness rabbit chasing. But no one was.
So after I was introduced, I stood up and walked to the podium, with notes—something the politician didn’t have—and there seemed to be a heightened sense of expectation that I could feel. The boys seemed to be leaning forward in their seats. At the time, I didn’t know any of that business about the Senator and his poor speech. A speech that generated neither heat nor light, I was told. So when I looked out on the congregation and saw the expectant looks on their faces, I just thought the boys always gave their guest speakers that kind of attentiveness.
As a father of sons and a high school coach, I’d written a list of traits and characteristics that I called “50 Things About Being a Gentlemen.” I gave my sons and all of my players the list. That list spelled out to both my sons and players what I expected in their behavior and what I considered to be the character traits of a gentleman. Many of my players came from at-risk-single-parent-homes with no fathers in the picture and no male role models to offer advice and guidance. In my view, this is the primary purpose of a high school’s athletic program: teaching life lessons through sports. Building character and holding young people accountable for good behavior in difficult situations is, in my opinion, the primary reason for a high school’s athletic department. As an Athletic Director, I impressed upon my coaches that philosophy. We would not win at all costs nor would we conduct ourselves without honor.
For the 20 minute talk I gave at MUS I chose only 10 of those 50 things. Incorporated in those 10 things included “what I’ve learned so far” kind of advice and observations. “What I’ve Learned So Far” is the name of my favorite Esquire magazine feature. It’s written by famous and/or successful men who distill the lessons learned in a lifetime to a single page feature. That feature alone is worth the cost of the magazine.
Two things I’ve learned that I wish I’d had time to include at MUS were: 1) everything takes more time than you think it will, and 2) sometimes you have to take the advice of Taylor Swift and Frozen’s Queen Elsa and “shake it off and let it go.” You could rephrase #2 with “you have to quit caring.” You have to care less.
I think #1 is something we intellectually acknowledge, but practically ignore. We wait until the last minute to do something or we don’t allow enough time for a task or errand. It will always take you more time to pack than you think it will. It will always take more time to load the car than you think it will. It will always take more time to clean the house than you think it will. It will always take more time to drive across town than you think it will. It will always take more time to lose weight and get in shape than you think it will. You get the idea. If you break down the tasks, obligations, and duties of your life by assigning more time to each than you initially would–maybe by adding 15 to 30 minutes or more–you’ll find that you benefit from the extra time allowed.
Adjusting to the truth of #1 isn’t that hard. It just requires discipline.
But #2 is different. It’s harder.
Not caring runs contrary to our earliest lessons in life. Our parents wanted us to care. They demanded that we care. They insisted upon it! They wanted us to care about everything: how we look, how we talk, how we eat, how we stand, how we sit. They told us to put on something clean, don’t talk to me in that tone, say “yes, sir” and “no, sir,” don’t eat with your mouth open, don’t slouch, sit up straight. They wanted us to care about everyone: treat others as you want to be treated. Be nice. Be polite. Share. Show respect.
Getting older meant a widening and deepening sense of caring about things and caring about others. In fact, the argument could be made that caring is the chief cornerstone of a civilized society. As a species, we gather together in groups so that we can care for one another. As a nation, we come together to aid and defend our allies because we care. We give to charities and welfare organizations because we care. We give to the poor because we care. We gladly pay taxes in order to meet the needs of our fellow citizens because we care.
We watched the twin towers come down, a 1000 miles away in New York City, with tears running down our collective cheeks because we care.
When I was overseas, I was excited when I got a “care” package from home! We send “care” packages to our deployed troops.
How often have you heard someone criticize a book or movie by saying that they weren’t compelled to “care” about any of the characters. And that was a deal breaker.
But the very thing that makes us a civilized society, a caring nation, a compassionate people is the thing that can trip us up in relationships and situations that become dysfunctional or untenable. We have trouble “shaking it off” because we care. We have trouble giving up on a person or a situation because we care. We can’t “let it go” because we care. The thing that fuels our compassion and thoughtfulness, is the thing that can fuel our misery and cause us pain.
A woman I dated once told me that the person who cares the most in a relationship has the least amount of power in that relationship. I should have seen her comment as reflective of her views about the dynamics of romantic relationships. If there’s a power struggle in a relationship, or if there’s a question about who has the most power, there’s your sign that the relationship is dysfunctional. A healthy and loving relationship has no sense of “who has the power.” I know this because I’ve been in both kinds of relationships.
We have to shake it off and let it go when someone violates the written or unwritten rules of respect and courtesy. Being long-suffering is a virtue. Being loyal, forgiving, and patient are virtues. And giving others the benefit of the doubt is something we look for in a friend. These are the kinds of things we extend to those we love and allow into our inner-circle.
When I was a recruit at Parris Island, attempting to earn the title of United States Marine, my Drill Instructors assigned me the task of taking one of the 14 Leadership Traits of the Marine Corps and giving a presentation on that trait to my platoon. (The 14 Leadership Traits are: Justice, Judgment, Dependability, Initiative, Decisiveness, Tact, Integrity, Enthusiasm, Bearing, Unselfishness, Courage, Knowledge, Loyalty, Endurance.) The trait I was assigned was loyalty. The more I studied this trait, the more I saw loyalty as necessary and imperative! If I had to choose only 3 of those 14, I’d choose loyalty, dependability, and courage. That lesson, more than anything else, solidified my own convictions about loyalty when I was only 18 years old. All these years later it still ranks supreme in my estimation of desirable and admirable traits.
But when loyalty, trust, respect, and courtesy are violated by someone we have allowed into our lives, we have to let them go. We have to train ourselves not to care. And this may be one of the most difficult things to do.
I remember as a 14 year old being reprimanded by my mother about some infraction and walking away murmuring “I don’t care” under my breath. My mother heard it and went ballistic! Not caring was blasphemy! Not caring was equated with the worst of sins and moral imperfections. Not caring was a violation of the very thing that made us civilized. Not caring was unforgivable. Not caring was likened to murder and arson, my mother lectured.
But the unfortunate truth is that some people can’t be trusted. They’ll use our compassion and our caring for them as weapons used against us. Self-respect requires us to draw a line. Self-respect requires us to unfriend, withdraw, and quit any relationship or situation that disrespects us and mistreats us. At some point we have to quit caring when we seem to be the only one who does. At some point we have to erect boundaries to keep those away who don’t care about us, who disrespect us, who betray us, who abandon us.
It’s a hard thing. It’s a hard thing to withdraw. It’s a hard thing to keep people at arm’s length. It’s a hard thing to close the door. It’s a hard thing to quit caring so much. It’s a hard thing to quit caring at all. But sometimes, that’s what must be done to protect yourself in the long run.
Things take longer than we think.
Sometimes we just have to shake it off and let it go.
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BUFFALO RUNNERS HALF MARATHON TRAINING THIS SATURDAY!
Our training continues on Saturday at 7am! We’ll meet at the same place at Shelby Farms: in the parking lot of the main playground, near the temporary Visitor’s Center and Go Ape ropes course.
If you’re not training for the St. Jude Half, you’re still welcome to get your 1 hour of CC with the group!
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TODAY’S NUTRITION TALK
by Gunnery Sergeant Ashley Holloway, RD LDN,
(An Registered Dietitian has a BS in Food Science, followed by a one year internship through an accredited university, and then with the recommendation of the internship program’s supervisor, a national examination is required. After that, an RD must have continuing education units annually in order to remain active and registered. An RD is an expert, not a hobbyist or a “food enthusiast.”)
Don’t Throw your Nutrition Away!
On average we spend $15 to $20 of fruits and vegetables a week, knowing that they are important for a healthy diet. But it may surprise you that you may be unknowingly throw away some of the healthiest parts of the food.
We often pick of the “strange” part of the produce and throw them away. But you are not just throwing away dollars and cents, you are also throwing away important nutrition benefits.
These forgotten parts of food are packed with vitamins and minerals and heart-saving amino acids. Add them to your kitchen rotation and reap the rewards.
1. CANTALOUPE SEEDS
Their Hidden Powers: These seeds are usually the first to go when you crack open a melon, but they’re high in protein, fiber, vitamin E, and magnesium.
How to Eat Them: Roast them in the oven and toss with olive oil for a nutrient-packed snack.
2. ONION SKINS
Their Hidden Powers: These flaky exteriors are high in quercetin, a compound that can help lower your blood pressure and support a healthy immune system.
How to Eat Them: Add them to a stew or broth for extra flavor, then pick them out before serving.
3. BROCCOLI LEAVES
Their Hidden Powers: These leafy greens are a triple threat with high levels of vitamin A, vitamin C, and calcium, says Bonci.
How to Eat Them: Cut them up and throw them into a stir-fry along with the rest of the broccoli.
4. ORANGE PEELS
Their Hidden Powers: You already knew they smell fantastic, but they’re also rich in digestive system-soothing fiber and immune-boosting vitamin C.
How to Eat Them: Use a cheese grater to sprinkle some on top of fish or chicken.
Adapted from Men’s Health 6/2015
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Running With Music!
If you run with music, for safety’s sake, turn the music down or use only one earbud, especially in a race. I recently bought an excellent single earbud (XDU Noise Isolating Earbud) from Far End Gear http://farendgear.com/xdu/)
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MAKE A FACE!!!!
INCREASE YOUR WEIGHTS!
YOU GET OUT WHAT YOU PUT IN!
What you get out of the workouts is determined by you.
How much do you work? How much effort you put into trying to do all of the repetitions with proper form and how much weight you’re using will determine what you get out of each workout.
YOU DETERMINE WHETHER YOUR WORKOUT IS HALF-ASS OR KICKASS!
YOU DETERMINE WHETHER YOUR WORKOUT IS HALF-ASS OR KICKASS!
YOU DETERMINE WHETHER YOUR WORKOUT IS HALF-ASS OR KICKASS!
YOU DETERMINE WHETHER YOUR WORKOUT IS HALF-ASS OR KICKASS!
YOU DETERMINE WHETHER YOUR WORKOUT IS HALF-ASS OR KICKASS!
It’s time for you to go up in weights … that’s what I’m thinking!
MAKING A FACE (THE GRIMACE) IS THE POOR MAN’S (OR WOMAN’S) FACELIFT!
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EVERY WEDNESDAY AND THURSDAY ARE T-SHIRT DAY!
WEAR YOUR RANK INSIGNIA SHIRT, SUB 7 SHIRT, OR OTHER USMC FITNESS BOOT CAMP SHIRT EVERY WEDNESDAY!
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THE GOOFY CLUB
Members of The Goofy Club are boot campers who’ve run the Walt Disney World Goofy Challenge in Florida. Club members participated in the Marathon Weekend in Orlando by running a half marathon (13.1 miles) on Saturday and then running a full marathon (26.2 miles) the next day!
Dory Sellers (2015)
Chris McLelland (2015)
Kay Ryan x 2! (2013 & 2015)
Alan Compton (2013)
Ashley Holloway (2013)
Tony Ludlow x 2 (2009, 2013)
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THE IRON CLUB
Iron Club members have run one or more (or multiple) Ironman series triathlons: the 70.3 (1.2 mile swim, 56 mile bike, 13.1 mile run; often called the Half Ironman) and the 140.3 (2.4 mile swim, 112 mile bike, 26.2 mile run, the Full Ironman!)
Scot Bearup 70.3 & 140.6
Andrew Forsdick 70.3 & 140.6 x TWO
Tony Ludlow 70.3
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SUB SEVEN CLUB!
Members of the Sub-7 Club are Boot Campers who’ve run the mile in under 7 minutes under my observation and timing.
Sam Podesta
Ben Newsham x 2
Tim Jacobs
Lee Chase,
Chris McLelland,
Andrew Stolnicki,
Dory Sellers,
Henry Kenworthy,
Matt Green,
Andrew Forsdick
Tony Ludlow
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ACTIVE DUTY ROSTER OF VETERAN BOOT CAMPERS!
Are you coming up on promotion? Let me know! If you’ve been in the program for 6 months straight, you should be on the roster!
Every Wednesday is our Official BOOT CAMP T-SHIRT DAY! You can wear your rank insignia shirt anytime you‘d like, of course, but always every Wednesday!
The ACTIVE DUTY ROSTER
Under 6 months is a Private
Private First Class is more than 6 months but less than 1 year.
Over 1 year is a Lance Corporal
– Pam Torres – meritoriously promoted 12/2012
– Teresa Reed 2/2012*
– Emma Crystal 5/2012
– Megan Collins 6/2012
– Maria Wyatt 6/2012
– Chuck Miller 11/2012
– Diane Gorney 12/2012
– Lexie Johnston 12/201?
– Ashley Summers 2/2014
– Ben Summers 2/2013
– Sam Lee 2/2013
– Louise Biedenharn 2/2013
– Jay Biedenharn 2/2013
– Ragan Washburn 2/2013
– Mary Holland Doan 4/2013
– Kay Barkoh 4/2013
– Melissa Campbell 4/2013
– Gina Tice 4/2013
– Jennie Latta 6/2013
– Mallory Raffensberger 8/2013
– Ashley Bowles 8/2013
– Greg Gaston 8/2013
– Steve Pike 9/2013
– Karen Tronsor 9/2013
– “El” McCain 11/2013
– Angela Moore 12/2013
– Jenn Bonner 12/2013
– Brett Bonner 1/2014
– Mandy Tenent 3/2014
Over 2 years is a Corporal
– Jeremy Harris 1/2009*
– JD Dombroski 4/2011
– Carrie Schule 5/2011
– Mary Bauer 6/2011
– Lee Chase 7/2011
– Tait Keller 8/2011
– Heath Alderson 9/2011
– Lindsey Stanfill 9/2011
– ShaWanda Upshaw 10/2011
– Tara Ingram 11/2011
– Rachel Phillips 2/2012
– Jean Maskas 2/2012
– Keith Renard 4/2012
– Alan Compton 4/2012
– Steve Havard 5/2012
– Beth Stengel 2/2012
– Chris Kelley 6/2102
– Lora Gubanov 8/2012
– Susye Clark 7/2012
– Orli Weisser-Pike 9/2012
– Lindsey Leet 9/2013
– Morgan Johnson 9/2012
Over 3 years is a Sergeant
– Ashley McClure 7/2010
– Jenni Harris 8/2010
– Anne Marie Wyatt 8/2010
– Paul Bauer 11/2010
– Robin Scott 3/2011
– Chris McLelland 3/2011
– Randal Rhea 4/2011
– Cindy King 4/2011
– Sherri Thompson 4/2011
– Melissa Thompson 5/2011
– Michelle Moss 5/2011
– Becky Lawler 5/2010*
Over 4 years is a Staff Sergeant
– Jonathan Phillips 10/2008*
– Karen Massey 11/2009
– Cecelia DeLacy 2/2010
– Malinda Miller 3/2010
– Beth Mills 5/2010
– Emily Melonas 6/2010
– Keith Renard 6/2009*
– Tim Romanow 8/2010
Over 5 years is a Gunnery Sergeant
– Patrick Moore 9/2008*
– Jessie Flanders 1/2009
– Andrew Stolnicki 1/2009
– Paul Tronsor 3/2009
– Robert Hunt 8/2009*
– Jay Mednikow 3/2010
– Ashley Holloway 4/2010
Over 6 years is a Master Sergeant
– Anne Mead 2/2005*
– Beth Rehrig 7/2007
– Matt Prince 6/2007
– Frank Jemison 10/2007
– Patty Dougherty 3/2008
– Oscar Adams 3/2008
– Alan Schaeffer 5/2008
– Mike Ryan 5/2006*
– Dory Sellers 6/2006*
– Albo Carruthers 8/2008
– Anne Kenworthy 8/2008
Over 7 years is a First Sergeant
– Kay Ryan 10/2006
– Michelle Crockett 3/2007
– George Rose 5/2007
– Henry Kenworthy 5/2007
– Leslie Garey 6/2007
Over 8 years is a Sergeant Major
– Louis Glazer 3/2005
– Gary Thompson 10/2005
– Scot Bearup 10/2005
– Kay Shelton 1/2006
– Leesa Jensen 5/2006
– Megan Warr 8/2006
– Rob Norcross 8/2006
Over 9 years is a Warrant Officer 1
– Matt Green 5/2005
– Mike Barta 6/2005*
– Anne Emmerth 6/2005*
Over 10 years is a Chief Warrant Officer 2
– Buddy Flinn 7/2003
– David Townsend 1/2004
– Hank Brown 3/2004
– Andrew Forsdick 9/2004
– Melissa Moore 2/2005
Over 11 years is a Chief Warrant Officer 3
– Pat McGhee 1/2003
– John Whittemore 1/2003
– Peter Pettit 5/2003
– Amy Singer 9/2003
Battalion Executive Officer
Major Richard Bourland, 9/2003
* broken time
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ARE WE FACEBOOK FRIENDS?
We should be!
HAVE YOU “LIKED” THE USMC FITNESS BOOT CAMP FACEBOOK PAGE?
You should totally do that!
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BOOT CAMP DISCOUNT
If you set up an automatic payment at your bank (Boot Camp mailing address is 4888 Southern, Memphis 38117) you can subtract $10 off your fee!
(This is not in conjunction with other discounts and is not an automatic bank draft that I set up with a voided check. This an automatic payment that you yourself set up yourself with your bank usually online and easy as pie!)
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USMC FITNESS BOOT CAMP CLASSES
0530 Monday through Friday
(First and second Tuesday of the month are M-16 Workouts at CUMC. Third and fourth Tuesdays are Mt. Fuji Workouts at the U of M)
5:45 PM: Monday through Thursday, 5:30 on Friday.
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BOOT CAMP DISCOUNTS AND FACEBOOK EXPERIMENT!
First of all, find me on Facebook and make me your friend. (Also, be sure to “like” USMC Fitness BOOT CAMP on Facebook.)
Here’s how the discount works!
It’s simple: make a Facebook status update and get a discount!
For every status update that you make that references:
“USMC Fitness Boot Camp,”
“Sgt. Tony’s Boot Camp,”
“Tony’s Boot Camp,”
or something similar, (there are fake boot camps out there) you can take $2.50 off your next reenlistment fee for each update!
You can take up to $20 off for any given month!
Your status update has to be a specific reference to USMC Fitness BOOT CAMP or to me specifically by name.
BE SURE TO TAG ME!
You can do the same thing by “checking in” at USMC Fitness Boot Camp either by using Facebook “places,” Foursquare, or any of the other “check in” apps that show up on your Facebook News Feed.
So log on and start getting your discounts now!
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Q. How can I get up in the morning on a consistent basis?
A. Contrary to what many think, I am NOT a morning person. I have to be “dynamited” out of the bed! Here are some tips to help you get going in the morning:
1. Use two alarm clocks. I have a snooze alarm that starts going off several minutes before I intend to get up. Then I have a “Last Call” alarm clock that is located across the room. This alarm clock is set to go off when I MUST get up.
2. Once the last call alarm goes off, the bed becomes OFF LIMITS! Get moving!
3. Get out of bed, turn off the alarm clock, and start turning on lights all through the house. Turn the TV on!
4. Lay out your clothes the night before. Don’t go wandering around the house in the morning trying to find your left shoe and your favorite shorts. So, have things ready the night before.
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What would you do if money was not an issue, fear was not a factor, and failure was not an option?
To your optimum health and fitness!
SEE YOU ON THE QUARTERDECK!
Tony
Sergeant Major Tony Ludlow
USMC Fitness BOOT CAMP, Commanding
Mailing address: 4888 Southern Ave., Memphis, TN 38117
Cell Phone: 901-644-0145