Sergeant Tony's Blog

Archive for August, 2012

WELCOME TO THE FUNHOUSE — Sgt. Tony Ludlow’s blog post for 8/29/2012

Aug. 29th 2012

“Tony, you know how it feels when you’ve had the flu and you start to feel better?”

“Yes, I do.”

“And you know how it feels when you’re able to get out of bed and move around and eat something solid for the first time in days? … and you have that happy feeling in your heart that believes you’re getting well? … and you gradually see your strength and abilities return? ….”

“Yes, I do.”

“And you know how it feels to regain your strength again and be healthy enough to go back to work and resume your life?”

“Yes, I do.”

“Well … that’s what coming to Boot Camp has been like for me!”

“It’s like having the flu???”

“NO! It’s like getting your life back!”

USMC Fitness BOOT CAMP began 13 years ago in August 1999! And one of the BEST things about my job, and the benefits of the program, is the kind of conversation like the one above.

“Tony, you helped me get my life back!”

Does it get any better than that? Is there any better way to pass your days on this earth than by helping others get their lives back?

Gary Gardia was the first “success story” of the program. Gary joined in September of ‘99. In 6 months Gary lost 65 pounds and his doctor took him off his high blood pressure medication! (Gary is a therapist and moved to Las Vegas to join a “grief counseling” practice a year later.)

I could never have anticipated those kinds of results and the benefits that would come from it when I founded this program 13 years ago.

Gary’s success opened my eyes to the health and medical benefits of the program. Happy consequences that I hadn’t considered when I designed it. They aren’t glamorous results or sexy benefits, necessarily.

They’re actually much deeper.

I’m not too concerned with trying to get people into bikini’s or attempting to further facilitate the “neurotically fit” to new kinesis. I do acknowledge that a certain degree of vanity fuels our efforts to “get in shape.” And I admit to being glad when people tell me that I don’t look, or act, my age. But what better endorsement for my work than what happened first to Gary?

In the past 13 years, USMC Fitness BOOT CAMP has helped hundreds of people “get their lives back.” I didn’t envision a program that would help people get their lives back. My vision was a little short-sighted.

When I started this outfit, I didn’t envision a “business,” as evidenced by my continuing ignorance of good business practices, lack of customer service acumen, and abysmal accounting skills. Nor did I envision an exercise “class.” I envisioned a community of awesomeness. I wanted the same kind of camaraderie I had with the guys I trained with in the Marine Corps. I wanted to do some of the same exercises and drills that we did to prepare us to go into combat. If it was good enough for Marines preparing for war, then it would be good enough for anything urbanites would be challenged with. I wanted to do things that we’d be proud to brag about!

There were only 5 boot camp programs in the whole country in 1999, so we could define ourselves. All of us were former active duty military and wanted to recreate some of those military experiences. But after the Wall Street Journal wrote an article about us in 2005, “boot camp” programs sprung up like ragweed and after a few years, these “fake boot camps” gave people watered down expectations.

A few years after the rise of the watered down boot camp expectation movement, one spoiled and over indulged east Memphis housewife told me very condescendingly that: “I pay you to train me, not make fun of me.” She thought of me as “the help,” along with her housekeeper, nanny, and yard guy. (Naturally, all of my harassment and “making fun of” was just tongue in cheek messing around. Or as I like to call it, “my charm.” I explained that her fee wasn’t payment for anything, it was the purchase of an “E” ticket into “Sgt. Tony’s Funhouse.”)

Let me humbly (if that’s even possible for me!), and with all seriousness (equally difficult to muster), offer you my heartfelt thanks for your support and friendship. Some of you have been with me for years and others but for a few weeks. To all I say thank you. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. To those who have been with me for some time, I can’t thank you enough for your friendship, your loyalty, and for giving me the best job in town and for ensuring — by your constant and regular support — that I have a career that I love and your fellowship and camaraderie to enjoy! Thank you very much!

And let me congratulate each of you for your own hard fought results and successes. I celebrate your victories, large and small!

CONGRATULATIONS!!

As we begin our 14th year of USMC Fitness BOOT CAMP together, I wish you all continued health, hope, happiness, fitness, faith, well-being, and prosperity! May your cup always be full!

(If you’ve been in Turdeville, if you’ve been out of the program for a while, or if you’ve never joined at all, let me personally invite you to “get your life back!” Come back! Join us!)

I’ll see you on the Quarterdeck!

— 30 —

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FRIDAY IS COLLEGE FOOTBALL T-SHIRT / HAT DAY

Every Friday throughout the college football season, wear your favorite college football team t-shirt and/or hat to boot camp!

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SATURDAY MORNING RUN – 6:00 THIS WEEK!

St. Jude Half Marathon training is underway! This is my 19th half marathon training session and I’ve been indebted to the assistance of David Caffey for his help in leading sessions in my absence.

HURRICANE REPORT: If it’s raining on Saturday morning, we’ll switch to Sunday morning instead. I’ll let you know on Facebook and on the website.

Cost for the St. Jude Half Marathon training is $75 for active duty boot campers and $125 for non-boot camper friends.

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YOU GET OUT WHAT YOU PUT IN!

What you get out of the workouts is determined by you.

How much do you work? How much effort you put into trying to do all of the repetitions with proper form and how much weight you’re using will determine what you get out of each workout.

It’s time for you to go up in weights … that’s what I’m thinking!

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NO WORKOUT THIS LABOR DAY!

You have my permission to sleep in!

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EVERY WEDNESDAY IS T-SHIRT DAY!

WEAR YOUR RANK INSIGNIA SHIRT, SUB 7 SHIRT, OR OTHER USMC Fitness BOOT CAMP SHIRT!

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FACEBOOK REMINDER

When you check-in on Facebook, be sure to check-in on our OFFICIAL PAGE. That would be “USMC Fitness Boot Camp” and it has my picture on the page and boot camp is two words. The other pages are those that other people created without looking for the OFFICIAL PAGE and are duplicates. Those pages refer to us, but aren’t the authorized page.

Thanks, all!

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VISORS, T-SHIRTS, AND BROOKS RUNNING SINGLETS

USMC Fitness BOOT CAMP t-shirts and visors for workouts and running are available!

Visors are $25, t-shirts are $20, and the Brooks singlets are 30.

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SUB SEVEN CLUB CHALLENGE!

Congratulations to the following members of the Sub Seven Club:

Lance Corporal Lee Chase, Staff Sergeant Patrick Moore, Staff Sergeant Rob Johnston, Sergeant Andrew Stolnicki, Lance Corporal Chris McLelland, Gunnery Sergeant Bart Thomas, First Sergeant Matt Green, and our first female Club member, Staff Sergeant Dory Sellers!

Congratulations to Master Sergeant John Winford and Sergeant Major Andrew Forsdick, the newest members of Club. Yesterday they both joined the Sub 7 Club by running a mile in under 7 minutes!

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VETERAN BOOT CAMPERS!

Your rank insignia t-shirts looked AWESOME on you this morning. (Don’t forget to wear yours this afternoon, evening crew!) And remember, EVERY WEDNESDAY IS T-SHIRT DAY!

And please go to

http://www.birthdayalarm.com/dob/76952967a424079603b362

And enter your boot camp anniversary date. If that information is already there and correct, you’re good to go.

Every Wednesday is our Official BOOT CAMP T-SHIRT DAY! You can wear your rank insignia shirt anytime you‘d like, of course, but always every Wednesday!

The Rank Structure of the Quarterdeck:

Under 6 months is a Private
Six months to 1 year is a Private First Class.

Over 1 year is a Lance Corporal
– Amber Jackson 4/2011
– Sherri Thompson 4/2011
– Carrie Schule 5/2011
– Mary Bauer 6/2011
– Paul Bauer 11/2010
– Robin Scott 3/2011
– Chris McLelland 3/2011
– Courtney Phillips 2/2011
– Randal Rhea 4/2011
– Cindy King 4/2011
– Bevan Lee 5/2011
– Melissa Thompson 5/2011
– Wayne Henderson 1/2011
– Michelle Moss 5/2011
– Lee Chase 7/2011
– JD Dombroski 8/2011
– Falana Scott 7/2011

Over 2 years is a Corporal
– Emily Melonas 6/2010
– Cecelia DeLacy 2/2010
– Beth Mills 5/2010
– Ashley Hofeditz 4/2010
– Anne Marie Wyatt 4/2010
– Jenni Harris 8/2010
– Tim Romanow 8/2010
– Ashley McClure 8/2010
– Wendy Shea 4/2008*
– Jeremy Harris 1/2009*

Over 3 years is a Sergeant
– Teresa Faulk 6/2009
– Meg Cannon 3/2009
– Cameron Mosley 11/2009
– Karen Massey 11/2009
– Paul Tronsor 3/2009
– Jessie Flanders 1/2009
– Andrew Stolnicki 1/2009
– Jonathan Phillips 10/2008
– Ben Killerlain 1/2009
– Sarah Vickers 8/2009
– Shena Clemons 10/2008
– Robert Hunt 8/2009
– Albo Carruthers 8/2008
– Kim Wamble 8/2008*

Over 4 years is a Staff Sergeant
– Buddy Daves 5/2008
– Anne Mead 2/2005*
– Dory Sellers 6/2006*
– Patrick Moore 9/2008
– Oscar Adams 3/2008
– Anne Kenworthy 8/2008
– Alan Schaeffer 4/2008
– Rob Johnston 4/2008
– Patty Dougherty 3/2008

Over 5 years is a Gunnery Sergeant
– Mike Ryan 5/2006*
– Leslie Garey 6/2007
– Henry Kenworthy 5/2007
– Michelle Dunn 3/2007
– Frank Jemison /2007
– Bart Thomas /2007
– Matt Prince /2007
– Beth Rehrig 7/2007
– George Rose /2007

Over 6 years is a Master Sergeant
– John Winford 2/2006
– Kay Ryan 10/2010
– Megan Warr 8/2006
– Gary Thompson 10/2005
– Kay Shelton 1/2006
– Leesa Jensen 5/2006
– Rob Norcross 8/2006
– Mike Barta 6/2005*
– Anne Emmerth 6/2005*
– Jeff Lee 1/2006
– Ralph Braden 9/2006

Over 7 years is a First Sergeant
– Melissa Moore 2/2005
– Louis Glazer 3/2005
– Scot Bearup 10/2005
– Matt Green 5/2005

Over 8 years is a Sergeant Major
– David Townsend 1/2004
– Hank Brown 3/2004
– Andrew Forsdick 9/2004
– Teri Trotter 4/2004

Over 9 years is a Warrant Officer 1
– Pat McGhee 1/2003
– Amy Singer 9/2003
– Peter Pettit 5/2003
– John Whittemore 1/2003
– Buddy Flinn 7/2003

* broken time

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0645 CLASS IS FIVE DAYS A WEEK!

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ARE WE FACEBOOK FRIENDS?

We should be!

HAVE YOU “LIKED” THE USMC FITNESS BOOT CAMP FACEBOOK PAGE?

You should totally do that!

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TUESDAY / THURSDAY EVENING CLASS

The Tues/Thurs evening track runs are back! We’re running at St. Mary’s School track at 5:45pm. (St. Mary’s track is behind the school/church at Walnut Grove and Perkins)

Running the track, speed work, and running in the neighborhood are options! None of the above are requirements and you are free to do your own thing. I’ll be glad to give you an assignment based on your running goals and experience!

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BOGA tomorrow morning at 5:30am – No chanting. No patchouli.

BOGA-lite at 6:45am tomorrow.

M-16 Workout at CUMC at 0530 next September 4th.

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NEW BOOT CAMP DISCOUNT

If you set up an automatic payment at your bank (Boot Camp mailing address is 4888 Southern, Memphis 38117) you can subtract $10 off your fee! That’s right, instead of $75, you can pay $65!

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USMC FITNESS BOOT CAMP CLASSES – NEW STUFF!

0530 Monday through Friday
(First and second Tuesday of the month are M-16 Workouts at CUMC. Third and fourth Tuesdays are Mt. Fuji Workouts at the U of M)

0645 M-F

5:45 PM: Monday and Wednesday, and 5:30 PM on Friday. (Tues/Thurs – track runs at 5:45am at St. Mary’s track.)

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BOOT CAMP DISCOUNTS AND FACEBOOK EXPERIMENT!

First of all, find me on Facebook and make me your friend. (Also, be sure to “like” USMC Fitness BOOT CAMP on Facebook.)

Here’s how the discount works!

It’s simple: make a Facebook status update and get a discount!

For every status update that you make that references:
“USMC Fitness Boot Camp,”
“Sgt. Tony’s Boot Camp,”
“Tony’s Boot Camp,”
or something similar, (there are fake boot camps out there) you can take $2.50 off your next reenlistment fee for each update!

You can take up to $20 off for any given month!

Your status update has to be a specific reference to USMC Fitness BOOT CAMP or to me specifically by name.

BE SURE TO TAG ME!

You can do the same thing by “checking in” at USMC Fitness Boot Camp either by using Facebook “places,” Foursquare, or any of the other “check in” apps that show up on your Facebook News Feed.

So log on and start getting your discounts now!

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FREE MONTH OF BOOT CAMP FOR YOU!

Remember that when one of your family or friends joins the program at full price because of your recruiting efforts, YOU get a free month of Boot Camp!

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WANT TO LOSE 15 POUNDS BY THE END OF NEXT MONTH?

Take Shape For Life is the BEST weight loss program I know of. If you’d like to lose weight talk to me. This is the program I used to lose the almost 30 pounds I gained after knee surgery.

You can also go to www.combatchallenge.tsfl.com/

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CALENDAR

A calendar has been added to the official USMC Fitness BOOT CAMP website.
http://www.usmcfitnessbootcamp.com/calendar.html

For you visual learners, you’ll find this an easy way to glance at the week or month and see where the workouts will be, if there’s a venue change.

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What would you do if money was not an issue, fear was not a factor, and failure was not an option?

To your optimum health and fitness!

SEE YOU ON THE QUARTERDECK!

Tony

Sergeant Major Tony Ludlow

USMC Fitness BOOT CAMP, Commanding
Mailing address: 4888 Southern Ave., Memphis, TN 38117
Cell Phone: 901-644-0145

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You’re NOT a Doctor? — Sgt. Tony Ludlow’s blog post for 8/22/2012

Aug. 22nd 2012

After last week’s reference to online dating, I was asked to write about it, PLEEEZE! (Who knew THAT was going to be a request?) So … here we go. Tony Ludlow’s “Why Online Dating Didn’t Work for Me!”

Commercials on TV for online dating sites are like the infomercials for things like the “shake weight,” the shamwow, and the “Malibu Pilates stool.” (Have you ever noticed how people use “Malibu” to sell stuff? There’s Malibu Rum, Malibu Surfboards, Malibu Fitness, Chevy Malibu, Malibu Boats, Malibu Ice Cream, Malibu Bacon … remember “Malibu Barbie?” Sure you do. Remember “Pine Bluff Barbie?” Course not. Malibu sells, Pine Bluff smells.)

Those infomercials are misleading and just a little embarrassing at the same time. A bit like the dating site’s commercials.

I will admit that online dating has come along way since they first popped up years ago. In the beginning, the whole notion of online dating seemed relegated to people with, how should I say, few marketable social attributes. Today there’s less of a stigma attached to online dating. And quite frankly, how many places can you meet someone nice or someone compatible? Bars? Seriously? Bars? Momma always said that you don’t find diamonds in a dumpster!

Anyway, according to one site’s advertisement, 1 in 5 relationships begin online and accounts for about 28% of all newlyweds.

Well … okay, maybe so.

Online dating sites want you to believe that those sites are populated by attractive, well-adjusted, emotionally healthy, happy, fun loving people just waiting for you to sign up and start dating them, ASAP!

Several years ago the curiosity of all of those sites was too much to resist. It was a time in my life when I wasn’t meeting too many women with whom I had much in common and it seemed like a harmless thing to do. And hey, maybe there might be something to it and someone great was out there just sitting by her computer waiting for me to say hello.

Or it could be a colossal waste of time and money. And I should say something about the money. You have to pay for the privilege of looking at potential dates. Some of the sites dole out profiles in proportion to how much you pay. Some sites allow for “chatting” … at a price.

Today there are tons of online dating sites that cater to all kinds of specialized interests and preferences. There are sites for desperate people looking to get married or remarried … rather quickly in some cases! There are sites for less serious connections, adults looking for friends and casual hook ups, Christians wanting to mingle, apostates wanting to ridicule the religious over drinks and damnation, athletic types wanting to date other athletic supporters, Jews wanting to date other Children of Abraham, runners wanting to date other obsessed runners, plenty of fish wanting to swim with other fishies, singles over 50 wanting their time, harmony seekers seeking relationship harmony, match finders hoping to match up, gold-diggers looking for millionaires, pretty people only looking for other pretty people, chubby chasers looking for chubbies, Republicans looking for other fans of FOX news, Democrats looking for other liberal social reconstructionists, vegans wanting to meet (not meat) and eat with other herbivores (if they don’t chicken out), and all kinds of fringe interest dating criteria sites serving the wackiest and the most off beat preferences. It’s a bit mind-boggling. And it’s terribly terribly entertaining.

And just like those infomercials that promise one thing and deliver another, the online dating sites promise and promote one thing, while being something different from reality.

I signed up for a few of those sites during a time of singleness and weariness after that 2002 Summer of Blind Dates. And the following is what I discovered. (Your mileage may vary.) And I’ll restrict this review to the most popular sites, particularly to Match.com.

If you’re a guy on Match.com, you’re almost guaranteed to be competing with a lot of other guys. I mean, a lot. More guys than you’d compete with in real life, that’s for sure. What I mean by that is, for every one woman on that site, there are more than 100 men wanting to get her attention. And that’s a conservative estimate.

If you’re a woman, those are some pretty great odds! Well, the odds are good, that’s true, but the quality of the guys might not be so great. But I’m getting ahead of myself.

Over the months that I dabbled in online dating sites, I made a few female friends along the way. They weren’t women I ever dated, or even met in person, but women who became online friends. I asked them all kinds of questions in an effort to learn what the online experience was like from their point of view. I have a sociologist’s interest in how people and cultures interact and react and consider normal and preferred. I’ve interviewed all kinds of people in an effort to understand people and people groups. Why do people do what they do and how do they explain that behavior to themselves and to others in a way that makes sense to them within their culture or subculture?

All of my online dating site friends reported the same thing: online dating can be an exhausting and frustrating part-time job for a woman! With there being so many men on these sites, women receive hundreds of emails per week! One of my friends told me that she received over 400 emails in her first week on Match.com! And those 400 could have contained emails from someone like Jeffery Dahmer or … someone as awesome as me! Our emails, all of us cool guys and serial psychopaths, were all mixed up together. Sometimes the ladies got emails from men thousands of miles away or from another country. Sometimes the emails came from men in prison and from men who weren’t even men at all. There could be 100 emails in one day’s queue and they’d never know which ones were from genuine local prospects and which ones were from faraway inmates.

From a man’s perspective it was really weird. I’m not accustomed to having a woman want to verify that I’m not incarcerated before she answers my email!

And forgive me for using the “Bo Derrick 10 Point Scale” for evaluating women, but online sites created a world where a woman who was a 5 or 6 in real life could command the attention of a woman in real life who was an 8 or 9. And some of those “average at best” women got flush with some newfound power and didn’t hesitate to be rude or unkind to a fella for making the mistake of sending them a “hi there” email. It was surreal.

And if a woman actually happened to be an 8 or 9 or even a 10 in real life, their email in-box would fill up within hours of posting their profile. My friend who got over 400 emails in her first week was an 8 or 9.

If you’re a woman who loves the attention of men and you have a lot of time on your hands, this situation is a bonanza! You’ll love online dating. Or at least online emailing. Plus I heard that some of the guy’s profiles were pretty funny to read, so that might be entertaining. But not funny in a good way, but more like cheesy and slimy and pathetic. I heard that there were a lot of guys who posed for their profile pictures without a shirt on or in front of their expensive car(s).

And on the subject of profile pictures, the women’s pictures were often years and years old and pounds and pounds added! As if we weren’t going to notice that they didn’t look a thing like their pictures. One woman looked so much unlike her picture that when she walked up to me to introduce herself I didn’t know who she was! Crazy!

Most of my online friends had full time jobs and things to do and didn’t have time to sort through or weed through all of that correspondence. (This is allegedly the plus of using eHarmony instead. They do all of the weeding out for you based on your profile and preferences.)

The flipside of this scenario is a loser guy sitting in his underwear in front of a computer who is a 3 or a 4 in real life (on a good day!), and who would NEVER approach a woman who’s an 8 or 9, yet will have no hesitation in scribbling off an email to a woman who is way out of his league, and often way out of his zip code. And his email gets added along with guys who are better matches for that woman.

My friend who got over 400 emails in her first week, received several hundred more in the second week as well. And on it went! An attractive woman might actually have upwards of 600 emails to answer in her first month on the dating site!

And who has that much time to answer that kind of non-work related correspondence? As one female friend told me, they just looked at pictures and occupations and moved on. With such limited time, this is how many women weed out the wheat from the chaff. And who can blame them?

Personally, I don’t think of myself as handsome, or hot, or attractive, or cute, despite my clowning and false bravado! But I’ve usually thought of myself as funny or clever or nice or friendly or outgoing or gentlemanly. But none of those things really translate that well to an online dating profile where women just don’t have the time to read a clever profile.

So for me, unless I’ve had a chance to talk to a woman, I’ve never really given myself much of a chance. I’m more of an “in person” kind of guy. And none of my professions have ever been, how can I say this, competitive with say, doctors, lawyers, and plumbers. Even my own mother was recently disappointed to discover that I’m not a doctor!

I’m not sure if I should say anything about the kind of women I actually DID meet. I suppose it would be safe to say that I met women from the online dating sites who were similar to the ones I met during the summer of blind dates. Nice people, just not a match for me.

I don’t know if there’s a connection to the psychology or the sociology of online dating or not, but most of the guys I knew who were in a dating relationship with, or even married to, someone they’d met online were … um … how can I say this … “henpecked.” They more or less fell under the heading of the “yes, dear” kind of dudes. I actually got in trouble with one guy’s girlfriend because I took up for him over dinner! He didn’t have the courage to take up for himself, even though he was clearly in the right. I thought he’d see what was happening, when she turned on me, but he didn’t. He married her! And guess who she doesn’t want him to hang out with? Yep, yours truly.

So I suppose that you could say that I’m not a big fan of the online dating experience. For a guy like me, it’s just not the best place for me to appear very extraordinary in a pile of 400 other emails. And for a woman who has a lot of time to read profiles, or who is comfortable weeding out the men based on their photos and occupations, it just might be a good option.

If you’re a guy involved with a woman you met online, good on ya! And if you’re not henpecked, double good on ya! And if you’re a lady enjoying your online dating experience, congratulations … 1 out of 5 relationships start online … just none of mine!

— 30 —

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COLLEGE FOOTBALL T-SHIRT / HAT DAY

Beginning this Friday, and continuing every Friday throughout the college football season, wear your favorite college football team t-shirt and/or hat to boot camp!

If your alma mater doesn’t have a football team, like Ole Miss for example, feel free to support the U of M Tigers or Arkansas Razorbacks!

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SATURDAY MORNING RUN – 6:00 THIS WEEK! We’re going to go earlier again this week to avoid the heat.

St. Jude Half Marathon training started last Saturday!

This is my 19th half marathon training session!

I was asked if it would be ok to train with me even though they aren’t planning to run a half marathon. Sure! It happens all the time!

Cost for the St. Jude Half Marathon training is $75 for active duty boot campers and $125 for non-boot camper friends.

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TAPS

We want to take a moment to express our condolences to Amy Singer and her family in the loss of her father, Chris Schadrack.

Amy, a 9 year USMC Fitness BOOT CAMP veteran, lost her Dad on Monday.

Amy, please accept our condolences and know that you and your family are in our thoughts and prayers.

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YOU GET OUT WHAT YOU PUT IN!

What you get out of the workouts is determined by you.

How much do you work? How much effort you put into trying to do all of the repetitions with proper form and how much weight you’re using will determine what you get out of each workout.

It’s time for you to go up in weights … that’s what I’m thinking!

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EVERY WEDNESDAY IS T-SHIRT DAY!

WEAR YOUR RANK INSIGNIA SHIRT, SUB 7 SHIRT, OR OTHER USMC Fitness BOOT CAMP SHIRT!

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Forrest Spence 5K this coming Saturday at 8am.

http://www.racesonline.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=public.race_detail&race_id=7004

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FACEBOOK REMINDER

When you check-in on Facebook, be sure to check-in on our OFFICIAL PAGE. That would be “USMC Fitness Boot Camp” and it has my picture on the page and boot camp is two words. The other pages are those that other people created without looking for the OFFICIAL PAGE and are duplicates. Those pages refer to us, but aren’t the authorized page.

Thanks, all!

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VISORS, T-SHIRTS, AND BROOKS RUNNING SINGLETS

USMC Fitness BOOT CAMP t-shirts and visors for workouts and running are available!

Visors are $25, t-shirts are $20, and the Brooks singlets are 30.

——————————————-

SUB SEVEN CLUB CHALLENGE!

Congratulations to the following members of the Sub Seven Club:

Lance Corporal Lee Chase, Staff Sergeant Patrick Moore, Rob Johnston, Sergeant Andrew Stolnicki, Lance Corporal Chris McLelland, Gunnery Sergeant Bart Thomas, First Sergeant Matt Green, and our first female Club member, Staff Sergeant Dory Sellers!

Next 0530 Sub 7 Challenge is Tuesday, August 28th.

If you’re an evening boot camper, we’ll wait until Thursday, August 30 at 5:45pm WEATHER/HEAT PERMITTING.

All Boot Campers are welcome to challenge the mile!

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VETERAN BOOT CAMPERS!

Your rank insignia t-shirts looked AWESOME on you this morning. (Don’t forget to wear yours this afternoon, evening crew!) And remember, EVERY WEDNESDAY IS T-SHIRT DAY!

And please go to

http://www.birthdayalarm.com/dob/76952967a424079603b362

And enter your boot camp anniversary date. If that information is already there and correct, you’re good to go.

Every Wednesday is our Official BOOT CAMP T-SHIRT DAY! You can wear your rank insignia shirt anytime you‘d like, of course, but always every Wednesday!

The Rank Structure of the Quarterdeck:

Under 6 months is a Private
Six months to 1 year is a Private First Class.

Over 1 year is a Lance Corporal
– Amber Jackson 4/2011
– Sherri Thompson 4/2011
– Carrie Schule 5/2011
– Mary Bauer 6/2011
– Paul Bauer 11/2010
– Robin Scott 3/2011
– Chris McLelland 3/2011
– Courtney Phillips 2/2011
– Randal Rhea 4/2011
– Cindy King 4/2011
– Bevan Lee 5/2011
– Melissa Thompson 5/2011
– Wayne Henderson 1/2011
– Michelle Moss 5/2011
– Lee Chase 7/2011
– JD Dombroski 8/2011
– Falana Scott 7/2011

Over 2 years is a Corporal
– Emily Melonas 6/2010
– Cecelia DeLacy 2/2010
– Beth Mills 5/2010
– Ashley Hofeditz 4/2010
– Anne Marie Wyatt 4/2010
– Jenni Harris 8/2010
– Tim Romanow 8/2010
– Ashley McClure 8/2010
– Wendy Shea 4/2008*
– Jeremy Harris 1/2009*

Over 3 years is a Sergeant
– Teresa Faulk 6/2009
– Meg Cannon 3/2009
– Cameron Mosley 11/2009
– Karen Massey 11/2009
– Paul Tronsor 3/2009
– Jessie Flanders 1/2009
– Andrew Stolnicki 1/2009
– Jonathan Phillips 10/2008
– Ben Killerlain 1/2009
– Sarah Vickers 8/2009
– Shena Clemons 10/2008
– Robert Hunt 8/2009
– Albo Carruthers 8/2008

Over 4 years is a Staff Sergeant
– Buddy Daves 5/2008
– Anne Mead 2/2005*
– Dory Sellers 6/2006*
– Patrick Moore 9/2008
– Oscar Adams 3/2008
– Anne Kenworthy 8/2008
– Alan Schaeffer 4/2008
– Rob Johnston 4/2008
– Patty Dougherty 3/2008

Over 5 years is a Gunnery Sergeant
– Mike Ryan 5/2006*
– Leslie Garey 6/2007
– Henry Kenworthy 5/2007
– Michelle Dunn 3/2007
– Frank Jemison /2007
– Bart Thomas /2007
– Matt Prince /2007
– Beth Rehrig /2007
– George Rose /2007

Over 6 years is a Master Sergeant
– John Winford 2/2006
– Kay Ryan 10/2010
– Megan Warr 8/2006
– Gary Thompson 10/2005
– Kay Shelton 1/2006
– Leesa Jensen 5/2006
– Rob Norcross 8/2006
– Mike Barta 6/2005*
– Anne Emmerth 6/2005*
– Jeff Lee 1/2006
– Ralph Braden 9/2006

Over 7 years is a First Sergeant
– Melissa Moore 2/2005
– Louis Glazer 3/2005
– Scot Bearup 10/2005
– Matt Green 5/2005

Over 8 years is a Sergeant Major
– David Townsend 1/2004
– Hank Brown 3/2004
– Andrew Forsdick 9/2004
– Teri Trotter 4/2004

Over 9 years is a Warrant Officer 1
– Pat McGhee 1/2003
– Amy Singer 9/2003
– Peter Pettit 5/2003
– John Whittemore 1/2003
– Buddy Flinn 7/2003

* broken time

————————————–

0645 CLASS IS FIVE DAYS A WEEK!

—————————————

ARE WE FACEBOOK FRIENDS?

We should be!

HAVE YOU “LIKED” THE USMC FITNESS BOOT CAMP FACEBOOK PAGE?

You should totally do that!

———————————–

TUESDAY / THURSDAY EVENING CLASS

The Tues/Thurs evening track runs are back! We’re running at St. Mary’s School track at 5:45pm. (St. Mary’s track is behind the school/church at Walnut Grove and Perkins)

Running the track, speed work, and running in the neighborhood are options! None of the above are requirements and you are free to do your own thing. I’ll be glad to give you an assignment based on your running goals and experience!

———————————-

BOGA tomorrow morning at 5:30am – No chanting. No patchouli.

BOGA-lite at 6:45am tomorrow.

Mt. Fuji Workout at the U of M at 0530 next Tuesday, August 28.

——————————————–

NEW BOOT CAMP DISCOUNT

If you set up an automatic payment at your bank (Boot Camp mailing address is 4888 Southern, Memphis 38117) you can subtract $10 off your fee! That’s right, instead of $75, you can pay $65!

—————————————

USMC FITNESS BOOT CAMP CLASSES – NEW STUFF!

0530 Monday through Friday
(First and second Tuesday of the month are M-16 Workouts at CUMC. Third and fourth Tuesdays are Mt. Fuji Workouts at the U of M)

0645 M-F

5:45 PM: Monday and Wednesday, and 5:30 PM on Friday. (Tues/Thurs – track runs at 5:45am at St. Mary’s track.)

————————————-

BOOT CAMP DISCOUNTS AND FACEBOOK EXPERIMENT!

First of all, find me on Facebook and make me your friend. (Also, be sure to “like” USMC Fitness BOOT CAMP on Facebook.)

Here’s how the discount works!

It’s simple: make a Facebook status update and get a discount!

For every status update that you make that references:
“USMC Fitness Boot Camp,”
“Sgt. Tony’s Boot Camp,”
“Tony’s Boot Camp,”
or something similar, you can take $2.50 off your next reenlistment fee for each update!

You can take up to $20 off for any given month!

Your status update has to be a specific reference to USMC Fitness BOOT CAMP or to me specifically by name.

BE SURE TO TAG ME!

You can do the same thing by “checking in” at USMC Fitness Boot Camp either by using Facebook “places,” Foursquare, or any of the other “check in” apps that show up on your Facebook News Feed.

So log on and start getting your discounts now!

————————————-

FREE MONTH OF BOOT CAMP FOR YOU!

Remember that when one of your family or friends joins the program at full price because of your recruiting efforts, YOU get a free month of Boot Camp!

———————————-

WANT TO LOSE 15 POUNDS BY THE END OF NEXT MONTH?

Take Shape For Life is the BEST weight loss program I know of. If you’d like to lose weight talk to me. This is the program I used to lose the almost 30 pounds I gained after knee surgery. Let me help you!

You can also go to www.combatchallenge.tsfl.com/

——————————————-

CALENDAR

A calendar has been added to the official USMC Fitness BOOT CAMP website.
http://www.usmcfitnessbootcamp.com/calendar.html

For you visual learners, you’ll find this an easy way to glance at the week or month and see where the workouts will be, if there’s a venue change.

—————————————————

What would you do if money was not an issue, fear was not a factor, and failure was not an option?

To your optimum health and fitness!

SEE YOU ON THE QUARTERDECK!

Tony

Sergeant Major Tony Ludlow

USMC Fitness BOOT CAMP, Commanding
Mailing address: 4888 Southern Ave., Memphis, TN 38117
Cell Phone: 901-644-0145

Posted by Tony Ludlow | in Uncategorized | No Comments »


Damn! We’re in a tight spot! — Sgt. Tony Ludlow, blog entry, 8/15/2012

Aug. 15th 2012

Alison was an attorney.

Our mutual friend, Beth, told me that Alison was smoking hot, tall, blond, and well proportioned. None of that sounded too bad, so I asked for a photo.

Denied.

No photo would be sent to a strange man on the world wide web, I was told. God only knows what kind of photoshop foolishness I might perform on Alison’s picture. So I got nothing. Fair enough. A woman can’t be too careful. After all, there are a lot of weirdos out there.

Alison had visited the boot camp website and had seen my picture. That hadn’t scared her away from agreeing to meet me, so that was good. But it still seemed a little unfair to be going into a blind date … blind. I’d just have to trust Beth, who, it should be noted, was responsible for several of the disastrous dates I’d already endured through that summer. I probably should have quit trusting Beth.

After exchanging emails with Alison, we agreed to meet for coffee at the Starbucks on Poplar at White Station. I asked her how I’d know her, to see if she’d describe herself to me. I thought that was clever of me. Instead of describing herself or telling me what she’d be wearing, she told me about her car. She said that she’d be driving a silver “Z-3.”

I wrote back and told her that I didn’t know what a Z-3 was.

Oops.

That little ignorance cost me and seemed to annoy Alison. It turns out that Alison was really into her Z-3 and she told me, in no uncertain terms, that a Z-3 was a BMW two-seater roadster sports driving machine, you moron. (She didn’t actually call me a moron. But it sure felt that way.)

As I’ve mentioned, in the summer of 2002 I’d only been back in the country for a few years and was still playing catch-up on 10 years of lost pop culture. I supposed that Z-3s were part of that lost decade and that most everyone knew what a Z-3 was. So now I just looked stupid.

I arrived at the Starbucks several minutes early and got a table near the window. Then I started surveying the parking lot looking for whatever a Z-3 was.

I saw all kinds of cars and all kinds of drivers, but no Z-3. We were supposed to have met at 2pm. At 2:15 I was pretty sure that I was being stood up. And as I was about to gather my things and head out, a BMW two door two-seater sports car driving machine pulled into the parking lot.

I watched intensely as the driver’s side door opened up. And out of that door came two of the finest looking legs I’d ever seen! And those long legs seemed to go on forever as she stood up!

Alison was wearing a very smart business suit and heels. Her skirt was just long enough to be business-like but just short enough to accentuate her tanned and tight muscular legs. And her heels were just low enough to be professional but just high enough to suggest something slightly more than business, but not exactly “business time.”

As she got out of the car and turned to face the building, I had to sort of assume a posture of non-interest. I didn’t want her to see me gawking!

She was everything Beth said she was! And I was happy that Beth was finally going to redeem herself.

Alison looked a lot like that blond DA from “Law & Order, SVU.” As she walked toward the door from her car I was struck by the very feminine way she moved. Her movements were one part jungle-feline, one part runway model, one part self-assured professional female who knew how the world worked and who had a very firm grasp on how to wield control of it. She walked like a woman who’d been able to dictate to the world around her, especially the world that included men. She had a slight smile on her face that I couldn’t decide was confidence or conspiracy.

I started to sweat a little.

This was going to be incredible, I thought! After an abysmal summer of mostly disastrous blind dates, I was about to meet someone who quite likely would be a game changer!

As she made her way toward the door, I thought how this woman was the kind of woman who’d compel a man to change his life. The kind of woman a man would admire and desire. The kind of woman who’d inspire a man to be greater than the sum of his parts. The kind of woman that a man like me would be drawn to and engaged by. A cross between Joan of Arc and Helen of Troy, with a dash of Cleopatra and Marilyn Monroe thrown in.

Alison, I had determined in the few seconds it took her to walk across the parking lot and enter the Starbucks, was a class act and a woman who, by her very presence would, without even saying a word, compel me to be more than I was, I thought. Someone who’d encourage me to become a mountain, not shrink into a grain of sand. She would not be satisfied with a lesser man, I thought. She would not be satisfied with a lesser me or a man of few talents and limited life experiences. She was a woman who would inspire!

These were the things that ran through my mind in the few seconds it took her to disembark from her Z-3 and make her way into the Starbucks at Poplar and White Station.

The mind can be such an idiot sometimes.

What took place after I stood to greet her, full of expectation, could only be described as less than what I had expected.

She was, in a word, … dull. And she never mentioned being almost 20 minutes late.

And dull might actually be inaccurate. She was boring. She came across as a woman who, though smart, had capitalized on her good looks to propel her ahead of her law school graduate friends.

It was obvious that Alison had always been pretty and had been able to capture the attention of others without ever having to say a clever or kind word. She was like many similarly attractive women, no engaging personality and no visible ability to emotionally connect with people. You could imagine her as a little girl with parents constantly taking her picture and telling her how beautiful she was. Always praised for being pretty and never required to be nice.

And I had scarcely talked to a less interesting human being. She might have possessed a Doctorate of Juris Prudence, or Juris Doctor or whatever law degree she had earned from Vanderbilt Law, but her interpersonal skills were nothing but GED.

Alison also did something to me that I call “being Jethro’ed.” That’s when someone treats you condescendingly because they know only a fraction about you, but that fraction is enough to think of you as something less than you are. It’s like how New Yorkers and Californians treat us Southerners as soon as they hear our accent. The only thing she apparently knew about me was that I was 1) a Marine, and 2) a jock from Arkansas. Well, those two things ARE true … but … So Alison treated me with an air of superiority and condescension. In other words, she Jethro’ed me! After all, I didn’t know what a Z-3 was.

She seemed to have no ability to make small talk. At least none that was apparent to me. The responsibility for making conversation was apparently all mine. A lot of responsibility to put on a Jarhead from Arkansas, I thought.

I asked her tons of open-ended questions. She answered the questions as if she were making a Tweet and restricted to 140 characters, or she was being charged by the conversational word.

I tried in vain to discover subjects that we shared in common. She had no hobbies and didn’t read much outside of work related stuff. She traveled and ate at expensive restaurants, mostly on someone else’s dime. I think she liked men who could wine and dine her … in New York or St. Thomas or Paris. Older men who drove Maseratis and liked having her on their arms.

But outside of her looks, I was unable to discover what else she brought to the table. And I wondered what kind of man agreed to those terms. What kind of man settles for arm candy? What kind of shallow man wants only a woman who looks good and has a great job, but … brings nothing else to the camp-out. Maserati men, I supposed. Me and my 8 year old Nissan Pathfinder weren’t going to cut it.

As a last ditch effort, I took a chance that talking about movies was a safe bet. Since everyone likes movies, I thought, it’d be easy to talk about that!

“So tell me, Alison, have you seen any good movies lately … something that you liked?” I asked.

“No, not really … mumble mumble negative mumble mumble,” she responded.

“Oh, I see. You don’t go to the movies very often?

“No,” she said in a monotone, and then did that hair flip/toss thing.

Cricket sounds.

“Did you happen to see ‘Oh, Brother, Where Art Thou?’ It’s one of my favorite movies,” I told her.

As an aside, let me tell you about that movie. It’s one of my top ten, maybe top five, movies of all time! I remember sitting in the theater watching it for the first time and hearing “Damn, we’re in a tight spot” for the first time and saying to myself, “this is wonderful … this is magical … this is why we go to the movies … for things like this.”

After “Oh Brother Where Art Thou?” came out on DVD I probably watched it once every couple of months. My sons and I can still do scenes from that movie from memory. And I probably quote a line from it once a week! It is seriously one of the best movies ever! It’s filled with stuff that just makes me laugh! The screenplay is so clever and evocative, the direction is fabulous, the acting is incredible, (George Clooney playing against type in a comedy is pure genius!) the cinematography is almost otherworldly at times, and the soundtrack is unbelievably perfect!

So, when Alison said, in the most animated voice I’d heard come out of her mouth, “That was one of the dumbest movies I’ve ever seen.”

Cricket sounds.

I’m sorry, what?

I waited for her to follow that up with, “I’m just messin’ with you, Tony … that movie was awesome!”

But there was no follow up. I waited. No follow up. She was serious. And like Forrest Gump, that’s all she had to say about that.

She just sat there, sipping her coffee and looking at her nails.

I was in a state of shock.

I wanted to find her parents and slap the crap out of them for raising such a stupid daughter. Good home-training would have ensured that Alison followed up my assertion that I loved that movie with something positive, even if she HATED the movie! Mom said to say something nice about something that someone really likes. Mom would have told Alison to say something about how popular the movie was, or how popular the soundtrack was, or how unusual a role it was for George Clooney, or how interesting it was that the Coen brothers could make such an unusual adaptation of Homer’s “Odyssey,” or something positive like that! Instead, she disrespected one of my favorite movies.

Oh no she dinit!

I waited for one more second, maybe two, trying to decide how this person had gotten away with being so clueless and so rude … and then I remembered: she’s pretty.

Unfortunately, we forgive pretty people for being stupid, rude, inconsiderate, clueless, and a whole host of other sins that we’d never tolerate in someone less attractive. I mean, how else can you explain the Kardashians?

But after the difficult, but necessary, breakup that had preceded that summer of blind dates, I’d purposed never to give pretty people a pass. If anything, I was going to henceforth hold pretty people’s feet to the fire. Pretty people would get less quarter from me. Pretty women were going to be expected to be as pretty on the inside as they were on the outside. And if you couldn’t be nice, if you couldn’t be kind, if you couldn’t be considerate, if you couldn’t be polite … then you could be alone. Well, at least you wouldn’t have the pleasure of my company.

So I stood up and told Alison that I just realized that I needed to be somewhere else. That somewhere else just happened to be anywhere else that she wasn’t.

Good-bye, Clueless Z-3 Chick. I hope you’re a really good lawyer. You’ll need that when your looks fade and you’re left with whatever is inside you.

Elapsed time for the one hour coffee date: 42 minutes.

However, to Alison’s credit, she sent me an email later that evening that said, “I take it by the abrupt way that you left, that you didn’t want to see me again. I hope I’m wrong. I was having a nice time.”

You were having a WHAT?

Well, she was at least half right.

I concluded the 2002 Summer of 12 Blind Dates with that 42 minute disaster with Alison.

Believe it or not, I learned a lot from those dates. But mostly I learned that I wouldn’t go out on any more blind dates. I understand that some people who later got happily married actually met their spouse on a blind date. And I think that’s awesome. I also think that’s probably rare! Or they had much better match makers than I did.

And let me say something about online dating too. Bogus, if you’re a guy. Bonanza, if you’re a lady. I dabbled in that a little a few years after that summer of blindness. But I can tell you, from my experience, if you’re a man, it’s a waste of time. At least it was for a guy like me. Maybe that should be my next exposé: “Why Online Dating is a Bust for Guys!”

— 30 —

———————————

SATURDAY MORNING RUN – 6:00 THIS WEEK! We’re going to go earlier again this week to avoid the heat.

St. Jude Half Marathon training will begin THIS Saturday, August 18th!

On Saturday I’ll begin my 19th half marathon training session. I was asked this morning if it would be ok to train with me even though they aren’t planning to run a half marathon. Sure! It happens all the time!

Cost for the St. Jude Half Marathon training is $75 for active duty boot campers and $125 for non-boot camper friends.

——————————————-

YOU GET OUT WHAT YOU PUT IN!

What you get out of the workouts is determined by you.

How much do you work? How much effort you put into trying to do all of the repetitions with proper form and how much weight you’re using will determine what you get out of each workout.

It’s time for you to go up in weights … that’s what I’m thinking!

——————————————-

EVERY WEDNESDAY IS T-SHIRT DAY!

WEAR YOUR RANK INSIGNIA SHIRT, SUB 7 SHIRT, OR OTHER USMC Fitness BOOT CAMP SHIRT!

—————————————–

THIS MONTH IS ANNIVERSARY MONTH!

This month we celebrate 13 years of USMC Fitness BOOT CAMP!!!

I want to thank you all for being a part of my life and a part of USMC Fitness BOOT CAMP! Over 90 of you have been with me for a year or more! Five of you will soon celebrate 10 years on The Quarterdeck!

To mark the occasion of our anniversary we’ll have a come and go party later this month. More details to follow!

——————————————-

FACEBOOK REMINDER

When you check-in on Facebook, be sure to check-in on our OFFICIAL PAGE. That would be “USMC Fitness Boot Camp” and it has my picture on the page and boot camp is two words. The other pages are those that other people created without looking for the OFFICIAL PAGE and are duplicates. Those pages refer to us, but aren’t the authorized page.

Thanks, all!

————————————

VISORS, T-SHIRTS, AND BROOKS RUNNING SINGLETS

USMC Fitness BOOT CAMP t-shirts and visors for workouts and running are available!

Visors are $25, t-shirts are $20, and the Brooks singlets are 30.

——————————————

RESULTS FROM THE LAST PFT

MEN’S WINNERS
PUSH UPS: ROB JOHNSTON
SITUPS: RICHARD BOURLAND
1.5 MILE RUN: PATRICK MOORE

LADIES WINNERS
PUSH UPS: MEG CANNON
SITUPS: ASHLEY HOFEDITZ
1.5 MILE RUN: MELISSA “WIENER DOG” MOORE

CONGRATULATIONS EVERYONE!!!!

Next PFT is Tuesday, October 30 at 5:30am.

——————————————

SUB SEVEN CLUB CHALLENGE!

Congratulations to the following members of the Sub Seven Club:

Lance Corporal Lee Chase, Staff Sergeant Patrick Moore, Rob Johnston, Sergeant Andrew Stolnicki, Lance Corporal Chris McLelland, Gunnery Sergeant Bart Thomas, First Sergeant Matt Green, and our first female Club member, Staff Sergeant Dory Sellers!

Next 0530 Sub 7 Challenge is Tuesday, August 28th.

If you’re an evening boot camper, we’ll wait until Thursday, August 30 at 5:45pm WEATHER/HEAT PERMITTING.

All Boot Campers are welcome to challenge the mile!

———————————————-

VETERAN BOOT CAMPERS!

Your rank insignia t-shirts looked AWESOME on you this morning. (Don’t forget to wear yours this afternoon, evening crew!) And remember, EVERY WEDNESDAY IS T-SHIRT DAY!

And please go to

http://www.birthdayalarm.com/dob/76952967a424079603b362

And enter your boot camp anniversary date. If that information is already there and correct, you’re good to go.

Every Wednesday is our Official BOOT CAMP T-SHIRT DAY! You can wear your rank insignia shirt anytime you‘d like, of course, but always every Wednesday!

The Rank Structure of the Quarterdeck:

Under 6 months is a Private
Six months to 1 year is a Private First Class.

Over 1 year is a Lance Corporal
– Amber Jackson 4/2011
– Sherri Thompson 4/2011
– Carrie Schule 5/2011
– Mary Bauer 6/2011
– Paul Bauer 11/2010
– Robin Scott 3/2011
– Chris McLelland 3/2011
– Courtney Phillips 2/2011
– Randal Rhea 4/2011
– Cindy King 4/2011
– Bevan Lee 5/2011
– Melissa Thompson 5/2011
– Wayne Henderson 1/2011
– Michelle Moss 5/2011
– Lee Chase 7/2011
– JD Dombroski 8/2011
– Falana Scott 7/2011

Over 2 years is a Corporal
– Emily Melonas 6/2010
– Cecelia DeLacy 2/2010
– Beth Mills 5/2010
– Ashley Hofeditz 4/2010
– Anne Marie Wyatt 4/2010
– Jenni Harris 8/2010
– Tim Romanow 8/2010
– Ashley McClure 8/2010
– Wendy Shea 4/2008*
– Jeremy Harris 1/2009*

Over 3 years is a Sergeant
– Teresa Faulk 6/2009
– Meg Cannon 3/2009
– Cameron Mosley 11/2009
– Karen Massey 11/2009
– Paul Tronsor 3/2009
– Jessie Flanders 1/2009
– Andrew Stolnicki 1/2009
– Jonathan Phillips 10/2008
– Ben Killerlain 1/2009
– Sarah Vickers 8/2009
– Shena Clemons 10/2008
– Robert Hunt 8/2009
– Albo Carruthers 8/2008

Over 4 years is a Staff Sergeant
– Buddy Daves 5/2008
– Anne Mead 2/2005*
– Dory Sellers 6/2006*
– Patrick Moore 9/2008
– Oscar Adams 3/2008
– Anne Kenworthy 8/2008
– Alan Schaeffer 4/2008
– Rob Johnston 4/2008
– Patty Dougherty 3/2008

Over 5 years is a Gunnery Sergeant
– Mike Ryan 5/2006*
– Leslie Garey 6/2007
– Henry Kenworthy 5/2007
– Michelle Dunn 3/2007
– Frank Jemison /2007
– Bart Thomas /2007
– Matt Prince /2007
– Beth Rehrig /2007
– George Rose /2007

Over 6 years is a Master Sergeant
– John Winford 2/2006
– Kay Ryan 10/2010
– Megan Warr 8/2006
– Gary Thompson 10/2005
– Kay Shelton 1/2006
– Leesa Jensen 5/2006
– Rob Norcross 8/2006
– Mike Barta 6/2005*
– Anne Emmerth 6/2005*
– Jeff Lee 1/2006
– Ralph Braden 9/2006

Over 7 years is a First Sergeant
– Melissa Moore 2/2005
– Louis Glazer 3/2005
– Scot Bearup 10/2005
– Matt Green 5/2005

Over 8 years is a Sergeant Major
– David Townsend 1/2004
– Hank Brown 3/2004
– Andrew Forsdick 9/2004
– Teri Trotter 4/2004

Over 9 years is a Warrant Officer 1
– Pat McGhee 1/2003
– Amy Singer 9/2003
– Peter Pettit 5/2003
– John Whittemore 1/2003
– Buddy Flinn 7/2003

* broken time

————————————–

0645 CLASS IS FIVE DAYS A WEEK!

—————————————

— THE GREENLINE HALF MARATHON
— THE GOOFY CHALLENGE
— ST. JUDE FULL MARATHON
— AND ST. JUDE HALF MARATHON

Interested in running The Goofy Challenge in January 2013?

Want to run the St. Jude Full Marathon on Dec. 1, 2012?

How about The Greenline Half Marathon on Oct. 14, 2012?

The third training run for the Goofy Challenge, the St. Jude Full Marathon, AND The Greenline Half Marathon will be THIS SATURDAY!

Meet me this Saturday at 6:00am in front of the Visitor’s Center at Shelby Farms!

Cost is $150 for boot campers and $225 for non-campers for the Goofy and the St. Jude Full. Cost of The Greenline Half is $75 for active duty boot campers and $125 for “friends of boot camp.”

Your first training run is a freebee if you’re not sure!

Training for the St. Jude Half will begin on August 18. This is a change from the previous announcement. What is the prerequisite for doing my half marathon training? Be able to cover 3 miles in 36 minutes or less.

——————————–

ARE WE FACEBOOK FRIENDS?

We should be!

HAVE YOU “LIKED” THE USMC FITNESS BOOT CAMP FACEBOOK PAGE?

You should totally do that!

———————————–

TUESDAY / THURSDAY EVENING CLASS

The Tues/Thurs evening track runs are back! We’re running at St. Mary’s School track at 5:45pm. (St. Mary’s track is behind the school/church at Walnut Grove and Perkins)

Running the track, speed work, and running in the neighborhood are options! None of the above are requirements and you are free to do your own thing. I’ll be glad to give you an assignment based on your running goals and experience!

———————————-

BOGA tomorrow morning at 5:30am – No chanting. No patchouli.

BOGA-lite at 6:45am tomorrow.

M-16 Workout at CUMC at 0530 next Tuesday, August 14.

——————————————–

NEW BOOT CAMP DISCOUNT

If you set up an automatic payment at your bank (Boot Camp mailing address is 4888 Southern, Memphis 38117) you can subtract $10 off your fee! That’s right, instead of $75, you can pay $65!

—————————————

USMC FITNESS BOOT CAMP CLASSES – NEW STUFF!

0530 Monday through Friday
(First and second Tuesday of the month are M-16 Workouts at CUMC. Third and fourth Tuesdays are Mt. Fuji Workouts at the U of M)

0645 M-F

5:45 PM: Monday and Wednesday, and 5:30 PM on Friday. (Tues/Thurs – track runs at 5:45am at St. Mary’s track.)

————————————-

BOOT CAMP DISCOUNTS AND FACEBOOK EXPERIMENT!

First of all, find me on Facebook and make me your friend. (Also, be sure to “like” USMC Fitness BOOT CAMP on Facebook.)

Here’s how the discount works!

It’s simple: make a Facebook status update and get a discount!

For every status update that you make that references:
“USMC Fitness Boot Camp,”
“Sgt. Tony’s Boot Camp,”
“Tony’s Boot Camp,”
or something similar, you can take $2.50 off your next reenlistment fee for each update!

You can take up to $20 off for any given month!

Your status update has to be a specific reference to USMC Fitness BOOT CAMP or to me specifically by name.

BE SURE TO TAG ME!

You can do the same thing by “checking in” at USMC Fitness Boot Camp either by using Facebook “places,” Foursquare, or any of the other “check in” apps that show up on your Facebook News Feed.

So log on and start getting your discounts now!

————————————-

FREE MONTH OF BOOT CAMP FOR YOU!

Remember that when one of your family or friends joins the program at full price because of your recruiting efforts, YOU get a free month of Boot Camp!

———————————-

WANT TO LOSE 15 POUNDS BY THE END OF NEXT MONTH?

Take Shape For Life is the BEST weight loss program I know of. If you’d like to lose weight talk to me. This is the program I used to lose the almost 30 pounds I gained after knee surgery. Let me help you!

You can also go to www.combatchallenge.tsfl.com/

——————————————-

CALENDAR

A calendar has been added to the official USMC Fitness BOOT CAMP website.
http://www.usmcfitnessbootcamp.com/calendar.html

For you visual learners, you’ll find this an easy way to glance at the week or month and see where the workouts will be, if there’s a venue change.

—————————————————

What would you do if money was not an issue, fear was not a factor, and failure was not an option?

To your optimum health and fitness!

SEE YOU ON THE QUARTERDECK!

Tony

Sergeant Major Tony Ludlow

USMC Fitness BOOT CAMP, Commanding
Mailing address: 4888 Southern Ave., Memphis, TN 38117
Cell Phone: 901-644-0145

Posted by Tony Ludlow | in Uncategorized | No Comments »


GREY’S ANATOMY — Sgt. Tony Ludlow’s blog post for 8/8/2012

Aug. 8th 2012

Heather was a train wreck. But not all of the blind dates I had in the summer of 2002 were that dramatically bad. If you missed last week’s dating disaster with Heather, I invite you to go back and enjoy that little vignette from that summer.

Ida, Julie, and Kathy were three women I got fixed up with – not all at the same time – that summer and with whom I didn’t share much chemistry at all. And as much as I hate to admit it, I wasn’t physically attracted to two of them. Not their fault, of course. As mom said, “there’s someone for everyone.” And just because they weren’t right for me, didn’t mean that they weren’t right for someone else.

Ida was cute in a nerdy kind of way. But she was waaaay too tall for me. I’m 5’10” on a good day and she was probably 6’2” or 6’3”. Now that by itself wouldn’t have put Ida in the “nope” category. But she slouched. I mean she had a bow to her back and she slumped her shoulders. Probably a way to make herself look, or seem, less tall. I’m not sure. And she shuffled her feet. But even THOSE things wouldn’t have been deal breakers. What didn’t work was the fact that she had no sparkle in her eyes, no enthusiasm in her voice, and no variance in the pitch of her speech. Hers was a monotone voice that seemed uninteresting.

Of course, she probably was just disinterested in me. I kind of got the impression that she was disappointed in my height and felt like our mutual friend had let us both down. And even though she’d seen a picture of me on the boot camp website, she had no idea how tall or short I was from that photo.

I don’t think she was passionless. I think she just didn’t feel compelled to put forth much effort or energy in someone she wasn’t interested in. We passed the time in chit chat over coffee and parted without even the “let’s do this again, sometime” lie that gets told at the end of boring dates.

Julie was a human cannonball with flaming red hair. She was almost as wide as she was tall, which was about 4’11” or maaaaaybe 5’0”! OK, I may or may not be exaggerating about her being as wide as she was tall.

Julie was a compact package of off the chart craziness and energy! She was very entertaining and pretty funny too. Unfortunately for me, she was all over the map and maybe a little bit too much like a guy where it comes to conversation. She wasn’t exactly very ladylike. I’m a man who likes to be a gentleman. I open doors and walk on the outside and do all of those kinds of old school manners that I was taught as a boy and that seem to be a little old fashioned these days. I wasn’t looking for a damsel in distress, but I wasn’t looking for a guy in a dress either.

Strong and independent women can be soft and ladylike too. Capable and confident women can also be feminine and sexy as well. Julie told me three really really filthy jokes in the first 20 minutes after I met her! I laughed … but I was also a little disappointed too. Plus she sort of walked like a guy and drank two beers for every one of mine, which isn’t saying much, but still.

Kathy was pretty. She looked like Ellen Pompeo, the actress who plays Meredith Grey in “Grey’s Anatomy.” Except Kathy was prettier. For the first 60 seconds of meeting Kathy I was kind of excited. Men are visual creatures, after all. But then came the conversation.

Kathy had an agenda and a check list in her head and the one hour date quickly turned into a job interview with Kathy assuming the role of employer. She was one of those kinds of women who was accustomed to a lot of male attention and gave off that vibe. It was like she walked into a room and expected people to look at her, for men to look at her with eyes of appreciation and perhaps a little desire, and for women to look at her with contempt and envy.

I guessed that she’d had a good number of relationships with men that had gone south because the men turned out to be less than what she was looking for, thus the checklist. So the conversation felt like an interview with her going down that unseen list of questions to prequalify me for future auditions. That, all by itself, was turning me off. She assumed that I wanted the job. And that turned me off a little more. But then she did something that completely changed an already slow moving meeting into a complete stop.

“So, do you speak a foreign language,” Kathy asked. Apparently speaking another language was something on her list because she spoke French and Italian.

“I do,” I answered, rather proudly.

“Oh?” she said, rather surprised. “Spanish?” she condescendingly guessed.

“No, Japanese,” I said.

“Oh, really? Why Japanese?” she asked. So I told her that I’d lived in Japan for 10 years as a civilian after I’d gotten out of the Marine Corps.

And then … this …

“Oh really? What was it like living with Japs?” she said.

“I’m sorry, what?” I asked in shock.

She repeated the question and used the word “Jap” again.

In 2002 I’d only been back from Japan for a few short years and my close attachment to the country was very strong. I had, and still have, a great love and affection for Japan. And my Japanese friends have a permanent place in my heart. The day I left Japan to move back to the States was one of the saddest days of my life. Her racial slur left me cold and angry. I had lived as a minority in a country of people who can be xenophobic, but with whom I forged a wonderful relationship of love, respect, dignity, and acceptance.

And that’s what I told her … as I stood to leave.

The interview was over.

I wouldn’t be hiring Kathy. Elapsed time: 48 minutes.

To her credit, she emailed me an apology and told me that she didn’t know that “Jap” was a racial slur and that she liked all “Orientals.”

She was clueless and I didn’t have the energy or interest to clue her in. Plus agendas aren’t my thing.

My guess is that Ida, Julie, and Kathy all moved on nicely with their lives, found love, and are doing fine today, ten years later. Each of them had things about them that would make them a great catch for someone else, but they just weren’t right for me.

Next week I’ll be wrapping up this Summer of Blind Dates with the shortest one hour coffee date on record with one of the hottest blondes I’ve ever met.

— 30 —

———————————

SATURDAY MORNING RUN – 6:00 THIS WEEK! We’re going to go earlier again this week to avoid the heat.

St. Jude Half Marathon training will begin on Saturday, August 18th!

——————————————-

EVERY WEDNESDAY IS T-SHIRT DAY!

WEAR YOUR RANK INSIGNIA SHIRT, SUB 7 SHIRT, OR OTHER USMC Fitness BOOT CAMP SHIRT!

—————————————–

THIS MONTH IS ANNIVERSARY MONTH!

This month we celebrate 13 years of USMC Fitness BOOT CAMP!!!

I want to thank you all for being a part of my life and a part of USMC Fitness BOOT CAMP! Over 90 of you have been with me for a year or more! Five of you will soon celebrate 10 years on The Quarterdeck!

To mark the occasion of our anniversary we’ll have a come and go party later this month. More details to follow!

——————————————-

FACEBOOK REMINDER

When you check-in on Facebook, be sure to check in on our OFFICIAL PAGE. That would be “USMC Fitness Boot Camp” and it has my picture on the page. The other pages are those that other people created without looking for the OFFICIAL PAGE and are duplicates. Those pages refer to us, but aren’t the authorized page.

Thanks, all!

————————————

VISORS, T-SHIRTS, AND BROOKS RUNNING SINGLETS

USMC Fitness BOOT CAMP t-shirts and visors for workouts and running are available!

Visors are $25, t-shirts are $20, and the Brooks singlets are 30.

——————————————

RESULTS FROM LAST TUESDAY’S PFT

MEN’S WINNERS
PUSH UPS: ROB JOHNSTON
SITUPS: RICHARD BOURLAND
1.5 MILE RUN: PATRICK MOORE

LADIES WINNERS
PUSH UPS: MEG CANNON
SITUPS: ASHLEY HOFEDITZ
1.5 MILE RUN: MELISSA “WIENER DOG” MOORE

CONGRATULATIONS EVERYONE!!!!

Next PFT is Tuesday, October 30 at 5:30am.

——————————————

SUB SEVEN CLUB CHALLENGE!

Congratulations to the following members of the Sub Seven Club:

Lance Corporal Lee Chase, Staff Sergeant Patrick Moore, Rob Johnston, Sergeant Andrew Stolnicki, Lance Corporal Chris McLelland, Gunnery Sergeant Bart Thomas, First Sergeant Matt Green, and our first female Club member, Staff Sergeant Dory Sellers!

Next 0530 Sub 7 Challenge is August 28th.

5:45PM EVENING SUB 7 CHALLENGE ON THURSDAY, WEATHER/HEAT PERMITTING.

We’ll meet at the U of M track on Thursday, August 9 at 5:45pm for the 1 mile challenge. (Weather permitting: no rain and heat index below 100)

All Boot Campers are welcome to challenge the mile!

———————————————-

VETERAN BOOT CAMPERS!

Your rank insignia t-shirts looked AWESOME on you this morning. (Don’t forget to wear yours this afternoon, evening crew!) And remember, EVERY WEDNESDAY IS T-SHIRT DAY!

And please go to

http://www.birthdayalarm.com/dob/76952967a424079603b362

And enter your boot camp anniversary date. If that information is already there and correct, you’re good to go.

Every Wednesday is our Official BOOT CAMP T-SHIRT DAY! You can wear your rank insignia shirt anytime you‘d like, of course, but always every Wednesday!

The Rank Structure of the Quarterdeck:

Under 6 months is a Private
Six months to 1 year is a Private First Class.

Over 1 year is a Lance Corporal
– Amber Jackson 4/2011
– Sherri Thompson 4/2011
– Carrie Schule 5/2011
– Mary Bauer 6/2011
– Paul Bauer 11/2010
– Robin Scott 3/2011
– Chris McLelland 3/2011
– Courtney Phillips 2/2011
– Randal Rhea 4/2011
– Cindy King 4/2011
– Bevan Lee 5/2011
– Melissa Thompson 5/2011
– Wayne Henderson 1/2011
– Michelle Moss 5/2011
– Lee Chase 7/2011
– JD Dombroski 8/2011
– Falana Scott 7/2011

Over 2 years is a Corporal
– Emily Melonas 6/2010
– Cecelia DeLacy 2/2010
– Beth Mills 5/2010
– Ashley Hofeditz 4/2010
– Anne Marie Wyatt 4/2010
– Jenni Harris 8/2010
– Tim Romanow 8/2010
– Ashley McClure 8/2010
– Wendy Shea 4/2008*
– Jeremy Harris 1/2009*

Over 3 years is a Sergeant
– Teresa Faulk 6/2009
– Meg Cannon 3/2009
– Cameron Mosley 11/2009
– Karen Massey 11/2009
– Paul Tronsor 3/2009
– Jessie Flanders 1/2009
– Andrew Stolnicki 1/2009
– Jonathan Phillips 10/2008
– Ben Killerlain 1/2009
– Sarah Vickers 8/2009
– Shena Clemons 10/2008
– Robert Hunt 8/2009
– Albo Carruthers 8/2008

Over 4 years is a Staff Sergeant
– Buddy Daves 5/2008
– Anne Mead 2/2005*
– Dory Sellers 6/2006*
– Patrick Moore 9/2008
– Oscar Adams 3/2008
– Anne Kenworthy 8/2008
– Alan Schaeffer 4/2008
– Rob Johnston 4/2008
– Patty Dougherty 3/2008

Over 5 years is a Gunnery Sergeant
– Mike Ryan 5/2006*
– Leslie Garey 6/2007
– Henry Kenworthy 5/2007
– Michelle Dunn 3/2007
– Frank Jemison /2007
– Bart Thomas /2007
– Matt Prince /2007
– Beth Rehrig /2007
– George Rose /2007

Over 6 years is a Master Sergeant
– John Winford 2/2006
– Kay Ryan 10/2010
– Megan Warr 8/2006
– Gary Thompson 10/2005
– Kay Shelton 1/2006
– Leesa Jensen 5/2006
– Rob Norcross 8/2006
– Mike Barta 6/2005*
– Anne Emmerth 6/2005*
– Jeff Lee 1/2006
– Ralph Braden 9/2006

Over 7 years is a First Sergeant
– Melissa Moore 2/2005
– Louis Glazer 3/2005
– Scot Bearup 10/2005
– Matt Green 5/2005

Over 8 years is a Sergeant Major
– David Townsend 1/2004
– Hank Brown 3/2004
– Andrew Forsdick 9/2004
– Teri Trotter 4/2004

Over 9 years is a Warrant Officer 1
– Pat McGhee 1/2003
– Amy Singer 9/2003
– Peter Pettit 5/2003
– John Whittemore 1/2003
– Buddy Flinn 7/2003

* broken time

————————————–

0645 CLASS IS FIVE DAYS A WEEK!

—————————————

— THE GREENLINE HALF MARATHON
— THE GOOFY CHALLENGE
— ST. JUDE FULL MARATHON
— AND ST. JUDE HALF MARATHON

Interested in running The Goofy Challenge in January 2013?

Want to run the St. Jude Full Marathon on Dec. 1, 2012?

How about The Greenline Half Marathon on Oct. 14, 2012?

The third training run for the Goofy Challenge, the St. Jude Full Marathon, AND The Greenline Half Marathon will be THIS SATURDAY!

Meet me this Saturday at 6:00am in front of the Visitor’s Center at Shelby Farms!

Cost is $150 for boot campers and $225 for non-campers for the Goofy and the St. Jude Full. Cost of The Greenline Half is $75 for active duty boot campers and $125 for “friends of boot camp.”

Your first training run is a freebee if you’re not sure!

Training for the St. Jude Half will begin on August 18. This is a change from the previous announcement. What is the prerequisite for doing my half marathon training? Be able to cover 3 miles in 36 minutes or less.

Following are two links. The first one is the Disney link with all of the registration info and so forth. The second link is to Boot Camper, and Goofy Challenge Finisher, Margaret Caffey’s travel website. Margaret is an Independent Vacation Planner with MEI-Travel & Mouse Fan Travel, specializing in Disney Destinations.

Using Margaret to plan your trip to Disney is FREE and no one knows Disney like she does!!! She can give you rate information for the costs of your trip to Orlando for the Challenge.

http://espnwwos.disney.go.com/events/rundisney/wdw-marathon/

www.facebook.com/MouseFanMargaret

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ARE WE FACEBOOK FRIENDS?

We should be!

HAVE YOU “LIKED” THE USMC FITNESS BOOT CAMP FACEBOOK PAGE?

You should totally do that!

———————————–

TUESDAY / THURSDAY EVENING CLASS

The Tues/Thurs evening track runs are back! We’re running at St. Mary’s School track at 5:45pm. (St. Mary’s track is behind the school/church at Walnut Grove and Perkins)

Running the track, speed work, and running in the neighborhood are options! None of the above are requirements and you are free to do your own thing. I’ll be glad to give you an assignment based on your running goals and experience!

———————————-

BOGA tomorrow morning at 5:30am – No chanting. No patchouli.

BOGA-lite at 6:45am tomorrow.

M-16 Workout at CUMC at 0530 next Tuesday, August 14.

——————————————–

NEW BOOT CAMP DISCOUNT

If you set up an automatic payment at your bank (Boot Camp mailing address is 4888 Southern, Memphis 38117) you can subtract $10 off your fee! That’s right, instead of $75, you can pay $65!

—————————————

USMC FITNESS BOOT CAMP CLASSES – NEW STUFF!

0530 Monday through Friday
(First and second Tuesday of the month are M-16 Workouts at CUMC. Third and fourth Tuesdays are Mt. Fuji Workouts at the U of M)

0645 M-F

5:45 PM: Monday and Wednesday, and 5:30 PM on Friday. (Tues/Thurs – track runs at 5:45am at St. Mary’s track.)

————————————-

BOOT CAMP DISCOUNTS AND FACEBOOK EXPERIMENT!

First of all, find me on Facebook and make me your friend. (Also, be sure to “like” USMC Fitness BOOT CAMP on Facebook.)

Here’s how the discount works!

It’s simple: make a Facebook status update and get a discount!

For every status update that you make that references:
“USMC Fitness Boot Camp,”
“Sgt. Tony’s Boot Camp,”
“Tony’s Boot Camp,”
or something similar, you can take $2.50 off your next reenlistment fee for each update!

You can take up to $20 off for any given month!

Your status update has to be a specific reference to USMC Fitness BOOT CAMP or to me specifically by name.

BE SURE TO TAG ME!

You can do the same thing by “checking in” at USMC Fitness Boot Camp either by using Facebook “places,” Foursquare, or any of the other “check in” apps that show up on your Facebook News Feed.

So log on and start getting your discounts now!

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FREE MONTH OF BOOT CAMP FOR YOU!

Remember that when one of your family or friends joins the program at full price because of your recruiting efforts, YOU get a free month of Boot Camp!

———————————-

WANT TO LOSE 15 POUNDS BY THE END OF NEXT MONTH?

Take Shape For Life is the BEST weight loss program I know of. If you’d like to lose weight talk to me. This is the program I used to lose the almost 30 pounds I gained after knee surgery. Let me help you!

You can also go to www.combatchallenge.tsfl.com/

——————————————-

CALENDAR

A calendar has been added to the official USMC Fitness BOOT CAMP website.
http://www.usmcfitnessbootcamp.com/calendar.html

For you visual learners, you’ll find this an easy way to glance at the week or month and see where the workouts will be, if there’s a venue change.

—————————————————

What would you do if money was not an issue, fear was not a factor, and failure was not an option?

To your optimum health and fitness!

SEE YOU ON THE QUARTERDECK!

Tony

Sergeant Major Tony Ludlow

USMC Fitness BOOT CAMP, Commanding
Mailing address: 4888 Southern Ave., Memphis, TN 38117
Cell Phone: 901-644-0145

Posted by Tony Ludlow | in Uncategorized | No Comments »


FOX 13 TV FILMS USMC FITNESS BOOT CAMP ON 13th ANNIVERSARY

Aug. 2nd 2012

Here is the link to the piece seen on the news last night on FOX 13 here in Memphis!

http://www.myfoxmemphis.com/story/19169617/fitness-boot-camp#.UBmjX1ARzIM.facebook

FOX Network picked up this story and will air it nationally! How ’bout that?!!

Posted by Tony Ludlow | in Uncategorized | No Comments »


HAPPY ANNIVERSARY!!! — Sgt. Tony Ludlow’s blog post for 8/1/2012

Aug. 1st 2012

Heather was big and small in all of the right places, if you know what I mean.

Actually, that’s if you judge female shapes like most of the world does. Like most men, I like those proportions too. But those things aren’t deal-makers. I was in love once with a woman whose cleavage was smaller than mine. So breast size is a non-issue for me. But Heather was one of those women who took great pride in her breasts and from the looks of things she apparently had plenty to be proud of.

Heather was shapely and curvy and had a LOT of dark hair. A LOT! I didn’t mind that at all. In fact, her hair was quite attractive. All in all, when I saw Heather from across the room at the party we’d been invited to by our mutual friend in the summer of 2002, I was hopeful.

Our mutual friend, Beth, introduced us and then quickly left us on our own. Once up close, Heather had a bit of the Jersey Shore/Irish Traveler look going on. Everything seemed kind of big and bold about her. Big makeup, big jewelry, big hair, big boobs, big presence. But up close what I noticed most about Heather was how she smelled.

She smelled like a combination of perfume and cigarette smoke.

Well, dang.

I’ve dated two women in the past who were “social smokers” (they only smoke when they drive, drink, get stressed, or are around others who’re smoking) and both of them said that they could quit anytime and that they would quit. Neither did. And for me, smoking is a deal breaker. Chewing gum, breath mints, and mouthwash can’t mask the foul odor and taste that accompany that habit. All of that smoke and yuck is trapped in the lungs, not just the mouth. Any kissing that lasts for more than a minute or so, or is accompanied by, how can I say this delicately, “heavy intimate breathing,” will draw all of that foul smell and taste out of the lungs and back out of the mouth and nose. A romantic moment is completely and thoroughly ruined, causing just the opposite thing to happen. Romance fail … replaced with revulsion.

Fortunately, or unfortunately, what followed didn’t help.

In a short conversation at a party Heather and I were able to discover that we shared absolutely no common hobbies or interests. Heather and I had nothing in common. I mean zero. Have you ever been in that situation before? You’re talking to someone new and search in vain for something common to talk about and come up with nothing.

She liked to go to Tunica to gamble. I’m not a gambler.

She liked country music. I’m a classic, alternative, and progressive rock kind of guy. She hated Dave Matthews. WTH?

Heather liked to go “mudding.” In 2002 I didn’t even know what that was.

She had no interest in exercise and sports. I had no interest in Beale Street bars and NASCAR.

She hated her history classes in high school. I was a high school history teacher.

She liked watching “The Bachelor” – which I hated — and I liked “Without a Trace” – which she’d never heard of.

She loved drinking beer and floating down the Spring River and I liked whitewater rafting on the Ocoee. (I’m pro beer, just for the record.)

Heather’s idea of a vacation was lying on the beach doing nothing and mine involved going places and doing stuff. She had no interest in the places I’d been or the things I’d done.

Shopping at the mall was one of her favorite pastimes. I consider the mall a place to avoid.

I had no interest in her one semester at Ole Miss and she had no interest in my ten years in Japan.

Her ex-husband had been in the Air Force and she considered Marines to be the same as her ex. Um, WHAT?

I really liked “The Lord of the Rings” movies. She hated them.

We just didn’t have anything in common. There was nothing wrong with her interests; they just weren’t a match for me and mine. And vice versa.

Fortunately there were people at the party with whom we could share the misery, so the time passed without too much weeping or wailing or gnashing of teeth.

“Well, it was nice to meet you, Heather,” I said stepping back and toward the door at the end of the evening.

“You too, why don’t I just walk you out,” she said.

“Uh, well, um … ok, sure,” I managed.

Once we got to my car, I turned to say goodbye and she moved right up in my face, pushed herself on me, and ambushed my mouth with hers. At first I thought it was a pitbull attack, but she was actually kissing me. Ordinarily that wouldn’t have been a bad way to end an evening. But this was pretty awful. And if the smoker’s breath wasn’t unpleasant enough, she’d added to that, wine drinker’s breath. And if those things weren’t bad enough, she was attempting to give me a tonsillectomy with her tongue. Heather apparently had a tongue that would put Gene Simmons to shame. She also thought that she was one of those Siegfried and Roy tigers; her mouth was so wide open that I was afraid that my whole head was about to disappear inside her cavernous mouth. I couldn’t decide if she was kissing me or eating my face. I was afraid that she was about to unhinge her jaws and consume me, head first!

I pulled back as soon as I could, trying to catch my breath and steady myself, and said, “Well, … goodnight.”

I got in my car as quickly as I could and sped off, happy that the night was over and that I’d escaped with my life.

The next day I got an email from Heather and she wanted to know if I was interested in meeting her at Silky O’ Sullivan’s on Beale Street that night. What? Seriously?

I politely declined and thanked her for the invitation, but didn’t offer an alternative meeting. Quite honestly I was surprised by her interest in wanting to see me again. Surely it was as miserable for her as it had been for me. I think Heather was one of those women who’d had a lot of success with men, being able to capitalize on big boobs and aggressive behavior.

She got the hint and wrote back that she understood. And then she said something that I absolutely could NOT believe. And I swear that I am not making this up.

She wrote, and I quote, “I guess it’s for the best that you don’t want to see me again … because eventually I’d have to tell you about my herpes.”

WHAT???

Oh.

My.

Lord.

OHMYGAWD! OHMYGAWD! OHMYGAWD!

I sat there for the longest time, rereading that one sentence over and over on my computer screen, slack jawed in total shock. A cold chill came over me like a wave of nausea.

WHO says that?

Why would someone – anyone — say such a thing?

It was one of the most bizarre things I’d ever read in my life! The most inappropriate thing any woman, up to that point, had ever said to me, ever! It was outrageous.

I was in total disbelief. Total disbelief.

I slowly and quietly pushed away from the computer, dropped to my knees and looked heavenward, putting my hands together in a prayer pose and offered up my thanks to The Almighty that I didn’t like going to Tunica.

— 30 —

———————————

SATURDAY MORNING RUN – 6:00 THIS WEEK! We’re going earlier to avoid the heat.

——————————————-

AUGUST IS ANNIVERSARY MONTH!

Today we celebrate 13 years of USMC Fitness BOOT CAMP!!!

I want to thank you all for being a part of my life and a part of USMC Fitness BOOT CAMP! Over 90 of you have been with me for a year or more! Five of you will soon celebrate 10 years on The Quarterdeck!

To mark the occasion of our anniversary we’ll have a come and go party later this month. More details to follow!

——————————————-

AWOL

Have you been away from USMC Fitness BOOT CAMP for a while? Comfortable in Turdeville, are ya? Wanna come back? C’mon then!! I won’t bite you! I promise!

I know how it is. You miss a day or two … and then it’s been a week or two … and then it’s a month or two …

Get back on track. Come back to the Quarterdeck! No matter how long you’ve been away, you do NOT have to pay the initiation fee again!

——————————————-

PAYING THE PIED PIPER … a message from the Accounting Dept.

Just a reminder that payment is generally expected on the first of each month, but always appreciated whenever it shows up! Check your records and see if you’re due. Thanks everyone!

Cash is fine, or course. And checks are easiest for me. And you can also pay online on the website (www.usmcfitnessbootcamp.com)

Additionally, if you would be so kind as to write in the “memo” section of your check, or the memo section of the online pay section, what month(s) the check is for, I’d really appreciate it. “Services rendered,” “Torture,” “Abuse,” “Pool cleaning,” and “For marijuana” are all very funny … but a month stated would be helpful too!

If you prefer to pay in cash, let me ask you to put the money in an envelope with your name and month(s) you’re paying for on the outside of the envelope? This will hopefully ensure that my bookkeeping is accurate. Thank you very much!

———————————

FACEBOOK REMINDER

When you check-in on Facebook, be sure to check in on our OFFICIAL PAGE. That would be “USMC Fitness Boot Camp” and it has my picture on the page. The other pages are those that other people created without looking for the OFFICIAL PAGE and are duplicates. Those pages refer to us, but aren’t the authorized page.

Thanks, all!

————————————

VISORS, T-SHIRTS, AND BROOKS RUNNING SINGLETS

USMC Fitness BOOT CAMP t-shirts and visors for workouts and running are available!

Visors are $25, t-shirts are $20, and the Brooks singlets are 30.

——————————————

RESULTS FROM TUESDAY’S PFT

MEN’S WINNERS
PUSH UPS: ROB JOHNSTON
SITUPS: RICHARD BOURLAND
1.5 MILE RUN: PATRICK MOORE

LADIES WINNERS
PUSH UPS: MEG CANNON
SITUPS: ASHLEY HOFEDITZ
1.5 MILE RUN: MELISSA “WIENER DOG” MOORE

CONGRATULATIONS EVERYONE!!!!

Next PFT is Tuesday, October 30 at 5:30am.

——————————————

SUB SEVEN CLUB CHALLENGE!

Congratulations to the following members of the Sub Seven Club:

Lance Corporal Lee Chase, Staff Sergeant Patrick Moore, Rob Johnston, Sergeant Andrew Stolnicki, Lance Corporal Chris McLelland, Gunnery Sergeant Bart Thomas, First Sergeant Matt Green, and our first female Club member, Staff Sergeant Dory Sellers!

Next 0530 Sub 7 Challenge is August 28th.

5:45PM EVENING SUB 7 CHALLENGE ON THURSDAY

We’ll meet at the U of M track on Thursday, August 2 at 5:45 for the 1 mile challenge. (Weather permitting: no rain and heat index below 100)

All Boot Campers are welcome to challenge the mile!

———————————————-

VETERAN BOOT CAMPERS!

Your rank insignia t-shirts looked AWESOME on you this morning. (Don’t forget to wear yours this afternoon, evening crew!) And remember, EVERY WEDNESDAY IS T-SHIRT DAY!

And please go to

http://www.birthdayalarm.com/dob/76952967a424079603b362

And enter your boot camp anniversary date. If that information is already there and correct, you’re good to go.

Every Wednesday is our Official BOOT CAMP T-SHIRT DAY! You can wear your rank insignia shirt anytime you‘d like, of course, but always every Wednesday!

The Rank Structure of the Quarterdeck:

Under 6 months is a Private
Six months to 1 year is a Private First Class.

Over 1 year is a Lance Corporal
– Amber Jackson 4/2011
– Sherri Thompson 4/2011
– Carrie Schule 5/2011
– Mary Bauer 6/2011
– Paul Bauer 11/2010
– Robin Scott 3/2011
– Chris McLelland 3/2011
– Courtney Phillips 2/2011
– Randal Rhea 4/2011
– Cindy King 4/2011
– Bevan Lee 5/2011
– Melissa Thompson 5/2011
– Wayne Henderson 1/2011
– Michelle Moss 5/2011
– Lee Chase 7/2011
– JD Dombroski 8/2011
– Falana Scott 7/2011

Over 2 years is a Corporal
– Emily Melonas 6/2010
– Cecelia DeLacy 2/2010
– Beth Mills 5/2010
– Ashley Hofeditz 4/2010
– Anne Marie Wyatt 4/2010
– Jenni Harris 8/2010
– Tim Romanow 8/2010
– Ashley McClure 8/2010
– Wendy Shea 4/2008*
– Jeremy Harris 1/2009*

Over 3 years is a Sergeant
– Teresa Faulk 6/2009
– Meg Cannon 3/2009
– Cameron Mosley 11/2009
– Karen Massey 11/2009
– Paul Tronsor 3/2009
– Jessie Flanders 1/2009
– Andrew Stolnicki 1/2009
– Jonathan Phillips 10/2008
– Ben Killerlain 1/2009
– Sarah Vickers 8/2009
– Shena Clemons 10/2008
– Robert Hunt 8/2009
– Albo Carruthers 8/2008

Over 4 years is a Staff Sergeant
– Buddy Daves 5/2008
– Anne Mead 2/2005*
– Dory Sellers 6/2006*
– Patrick Moore 9/2008
– Oscar Adams 3/2008
– Anne Kenworthy 8/2008
– Alan Schaeffer 4/2008
– Rob Johnston 4/2008
– Patty Dougherty 3/2008

Over 5 years is a Gunnery Sergeant
– Mike Ryan 5/2006*
– Leslie Garey 6/2007
– Henry Kenworthy 5/2007
– Michelle Dunn 3/2007
– Frank Jemison /2007
– Bart Thomas /2007
– Matt Prince /2007
– Beth Rehrig /2007
– George Rose /2007

Over 6 years is a Master Sergeant
– John Winford 2/2006
– Kay Ryan 10/2010
– Megan Warr 8/2006
– Gary Thompson 10/2005
– Kay Shelton 1/2006
– Leesa Jensen 5/2006
– Rob Norcross 8/2006
– Mike Barta 6/2005*
– Anne Emmerth 6/2005*
– Jeff Lee 1/2006
– Ralph Braden 9/2006

Over 7 years is a First Sergeant
– Melissa Moore 2/2005
– Louis Glazer 3/2005
– Scot Bearup 10/2005
– Matt Green 5/2005

Over 8 years is a Sergeant Major
– David Townsend 1/2004
– Hank Brown 3/2004
– Andrew Forsdick 9/2004
– Teri Trotter 4/2004

Over 9 years is a Warrant Officer 1
– Pat McGhee 1/2003
– Amy Singer 9/2003
– Peter Pettit 5/2003
– John Whittemore 1/2003
– Buddy Flinn 7/2003

* broken time

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0645 CLASS IS FIVE DAYS A WEEK!

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— THE GREENLINE HALF MARATHON
— THE GOOFY CHALLENGE
— ST. JUDE FULL MARATHON
— AND ST. JUDE HALF MARATHON

Interested in running The Goofy Challenge in January 2013?

Want to run the St. Jude Full Marathon on Dec. 1, 2012?

How about The Greenline Half Marathon on Oct. 14, 2012?

The third training run for the Goofy Challenge, the St. Jude Full Marathon, AND The Greenline Half Marathon will be THIS SATURDAY!

Meet me this Saturday at 6:00am in front of the Visitor’s Center at Shelby Farms!

Cost is $150 for boot campers and $225 for non-campers for the Goofy and the St. Jude Full. Cost of The Greenline Half is $75 for active duty boot campers and $125 for “friends of boot camp.”

Your first training run is a freebee if you’re not sure!

Training for the St. Jude Half will begin on September 1st. More about that later!

Following are two links. The first one is the Disney link with all of the registration info and so forth. The second link is to Boot Camper, and Goofy Challenge Finisher, Margaret Caffey’s travel website. Margaret is an Independent Vacation Planner with MEI-Travel & Mouse Fan Travel, specializing in Disney Destinations.

Using Margaret to plan your trip to Disney is FREE and no one knows Disney like she does!!! She can give you rate information for the costs of your trip to Orlando for the Challenge.

http://espnwwos.disney.go.com/events/rundisney/wdw-marathon/

www.facebook.com/MouseFanMargaret

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ARE WE FACEBOOK FRIENDS?

We should be!

HAVE YOU “LIKED” THE USMC FITNESS BOOT CAMP FACEBOOK PAGE?

You should totally do that!

———————————–

TUESDAY / THURSDAY EVENING CLASS

The Tues/Thurs evening track runs are back! We’re running at St. Mary’s School track at 5:45pm. (St. Mary’s track is behind the school/church at Walnut Grove and Perkins)

Running the track, speed work, and running in the neighborhood are options! None of the above are requirements and you are free to do your own thing. I’ll be glad to give you an assignment based on your running goals and experience!

———————————-

BOGA tomorrow morning at 5:30am – No chanting. No patchouli.

BOGA-lite at 6:45am tomorrow.

M-16 Workout at CUMC at 0530 next Tuesday, August 7.

——————————————–

NEW BOOT CAMP DISCOUNT

If you set up an automatic payment at your bank (Boot Camp mailing address is 4888 Southern, Memphis 38117) you can subtract $10 off your fee! That’s right, instead of $75, you can pay $65!

—————————————

USMC FITNESS BOOT CAMP CLASSES – NEW STUFF!

0530 Monday through Friday
(First and second Tuesday of the month are M-16 Workouts at CUMC. Third and fourth Tuesdays are Mt. Fuji Workouts at the U of M)

0645 M-F

5:45 PM: Monday and Wednesday, and 5:30 PM on Friday. (Tues/Thurs – track runs at 5:45am at St. Mary’s track.)

————————————-

BOOT CAMP DISCOUNTS AND FACEBOOK EXPERIMENT!

First of all, find me on Facebook and make me your friend. (Also, be sure to “like” USMC Fitness BOOT CAMP on Facebook.)

Here’s how the discount works!

It’s simple: make a Facebook status update and get a discount!

For every status update that you make that references:
“USMC Fitness Boot Camp,”
“Sgt. Tony’s Boot Camp,”
“Tony’s Boot Camp,”
or something similar, you can take $2.50 off your next reenlistment fee for each update!

You can take up to $20 off for any given month!

Your status update has to be a specific reference to USMC Fitness BOOT CAMP or to me specifically by name.

BE SURE TO TAG ME!

You can do the same thing by “checking in” at USMC Fitness Boot Camp either by using Facebook “places,” Foursquare, or any of the other “check in” apps that show up on your Facebook News Feed.

So log on and start getting your discounts now!

————————————-

FREE MONTH OF BOOT CAMP FOR YOU!

Remember that when one of your family or friends joins the program at full price because of your recruiting efforts, YOU get a free month of Boot Camp!

———————————-

WANT TO LOSE 15 POUNDS BY THE END OF NEXT MONTH?

Take Shape For Life is the BEST weight loss program I know of. If you’d like to lose weight talk to me. This is the program I used to lose the almost 30 pounds I gained after knee surgery. Let me help you!

You can also go to www.combatchallenge.tsfl.com/

——————————————-

CALENDAR

A calendar has been added to the official USMC Fitness BOOT CAMP website.
http://www.usmcfitnessbootcamp.com/calendar.html

For you visual learners, you’ll find this an easy way to glance at the week or month and see where the workouts will be, if there’s a venue change.

—————————————————

What would you do if money was not an issue, fear was not a factor, and failure was not an option?

To your optimum health and fitness!

SEE YOU ON THE QUARTERDECK!

Tony

Sergeant Major Tony Ludlow

USMC Fitness BOOT CAMP, Commanding
Mailing address: 4888 Southern Ave., Memphis, TN 38117
Cell Phone: 901-644-0145

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