Sergeant Tony's Blog

Archive for June, 2012

NOW HEAR THIS, NOW HEAR THIS!

Jun. 29th 2012

Sgt. Tony’s Lonely Hearts Club Boot Camp Workout this afternoon at 5:30! You need not be lonely to attend!

The Goofy Challenge training, The St. Jude Full Marathon training, and The Greenline Half Marathon training begins tomorrow morning at 7am! Meet me in front of Visitor’s Center at Shelby Farms. No charge for tomorrow’s run if you’ve never trained with me before.

And for you guys looking forward to the annual Ocoee River Whitewater Rafting trip, the date is set. The Boot Camp River Pirates will take command of the Ocoee on August 25! All are welcome to go on this trip! First timers too! More details to follow!

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Negative, Ghost Rider — Sgt. Tony Ludlow’s blog post for 6/27/2012

Jun. 27th 2012

Ellen was a real estate agent, a tall short-haired blonde who showed up at our one hour cocktail date wearing a floral dress, too much make-up, and a crazy look in her eyes. (My experience with women with crazy eyes = fo’ realz krazy. Your mileage may vary.)

Ellen told me that I’d be able to identify her by the bold floral dress that she’d be wearing. But I didn’t really need that because she didn’t really enter the restaurant so much as she made landfall like a hurricane coming ashore and that was impossible not to notice. She rushed into the restaurant looking like the Tasmanian Devil, spinning round and round with those bug eyes. She looked as if she were looking for a guy who might have just stolen her purse, not a guy she was meeting for a drink. She scanned the room like the Terminator looking at each face, allowing the computer in her head to id the crowd. You could almost see the heads up display screen in her head as her high-speed self-focusing-lens-eyeballs identified each person as friend, foe, or me.

I didn’t know whether to hide or raise my hand and wave to her. For a brief moment I calculated the location of the exit, the location of my table, and the location of Ellen’s “crazy-lady” tactical position. I couldn’t see that I could escape without being detected. It was too late anyway, she’d already spied me out and had achieved radar lock-on, missiles armed, and closing in fast.

“Talk to me Goose. Talk to me.”

I stood up to shake Ellen’s hand and the onslaught began as I was sitting back down.

“Hi I’m Ellen it’s good to meet you the traffic was crazy and I had to meet with a client to show them another house they’re so picky I’ve shown them 15 houses in two weeks and they can’t make up their minds those kinds of clients make me want to pull my hair out you know what I mean and so I was running late and thought about calling you and telling you that I was going to be late but then I couldn’t remember your number and it was written down on a sticky note in my office and so I just had to hurry up and get here what are you drinking have you been here long tell me again what you do for a living I’ve never been in this restaurant before is it good I think I’ll try that pomegranate martini and might eat a little something cuz I’ve had no time to eat anything are you hungry and did you say that you had kids too I can’t remember anyways I never really know what to say on these kinds of fix ups they seem so artificial icky ticky toso no so jo so rambo ickaberry ickimo pom pom …”

Somewhere in that verbal barrage I just checked out. If this scene had a soundtrack it would be Wagner’s “Ride of the Valkyries” from “Apocalypse Now” where the helicopters come in off the water in attack formation.

I lost track of what she was talking about and if I was supposed to respond or just wait til she stopped to take a breath or to take a drink. Her voice was like the sound of loose change falling to a marble floor in a museum lobby. She had mastered the art of stream of consciousness talking but not stream of consciousness thinking. And it wasn’t that she didn’t ask me any questions, she just didn’t stop talking to let me answer them or she didn’t pay attention to what my answers were. However, she did seem to smile the whole time, but didn’t seem present at any time. Sort of like a politician.

For example, when she asked what I did for a living, I told her that I taught high school history and was a coach. And she smiled and nodded. And then I added that “I also teach an elective called “Advanced Humility and Skin Rash Treatment.” She smiled and nodded and never batted an eye or asked a question. I delivered that line in the same tone and with the same animation I’d told her that I taught high school history. No reaction.

She never noticed and never heard what my answers were. And once I discovered this little gem of information, I kept delivering those bizarre-o answers for my own amusement.

“Do you have any children?” she asked while looking around the restaurant and smiling.

“I do. I’ve got three kids. Two of them are actually conjoined twins serving time in juvi for practicing law without a license,” I deadpanned.

“That’s great … are you originally from Memphis?” she responded.

“I’m not. I moved here from Japan a couple of years ago. I’m originally from Fort Smith, Arkansas but had to leave as soon as I turned 18 as part of the plea bargain agreement with the DA,” I said with no real change in the pitch or volume of my voice. For all of her reaction, I could have been reading from the phone book.

“I’m from Nashville,” she said in response.

WHAT??? How can you NOT hear that stuff?

My own foolishness was the only thing that kept me interested during our one-hour cocktail date. That, and the booze. The latter inspired my answers to be progressively more off the wall. None of this registered with her. I was determined not to alter my voice or facial expressions to give her any clue or tip her off to the fact that my answers were whacky and goofy. This was a test to see if she was paying attention. She wasn’t. So I just entertained myself with silliness tangled up in monotone.

She would, without warning or announcement, just get up and go to the ladies’ room or walk over to the bar to speak to someone she recognized, leaving me sitting alone. By this time I was so entertained by her crazy behavior that I couldn’t wait for the next weird thing I was going to say.

At the end of the hour I had gathered, figuratively, a dossier of details and information about her life, her loves, her interests, her pet peeves, her education, her ambitions, her successes, her travels, and her thoughts about everything from real estate to religion.

I’m absolutely certain she barely knew my name.

(I saw her at Memphis Pizza Café about 5 years later and remembered her and said hello. She looked at me, clueless and uncertain as to who I was. She did, however, keep smiling! Hahaha)

Ellen was no Zen master. I have no idea what moment in time she was present in, with, or for. I could have said that I had a live chicken in my underpants and she wouldn’t have caught it. I would ask her one question and she’d give me twenty answers, one of which might have answered the question that I asked and the other nineteen were random and unrelated things on the rabbit trail in her head. It was like backmasking “Alice in Wonderland.”

A case could be made that Ellen was rude. But I think rude behavior is premeditated and done with malice aforethought. I don’t think Ellen had-a-thought. She just acted impulsively and spontaneously without regard to good social grace or proper decorum.

We said our good-byes outside of the restaurant and I headed home. I drove home scratching my head and wondering what our mutual friend was thinking by trying to fix the two of us up. By the time I got home I already had an email from Ellen!

She told me that she really enjoyed meeting me and wanted to know when we’d be getting together again.

– 30 –

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Next PFT is July 31.

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SUB SEVEN CLUB CHALLENGE!

The “Sub Seven Club!” is BACK!!!

Congratulations to the following new members of the Sub Seven Club:

Lee Chase, Patrick Moore, Rob Johnston, Andrew Stolnicki, Chris McLelland, Bart Thomas, and Matt Green!

If you’d like to join the club, we’ll meet me at the U of M track on Tuesday morning (July 24) at 5:15am. That’ll be 15 min before our Mt. Fuji Workout. If you run the mile in under seven minutes, you get to join the club!

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CALLING ALL VETERAN BOOT CAMPERS!

Your t-shirts are being made even as you read this! I’m hoping I’ll have them within a week or so.

Are you a boot camper with more than 1 year of continuous duty? Check this list and make sure you’re on it!

The Rank Structure of the Quarterdeck:

Over 1 year is a Lance Corporal
– Amber Jackson
– Sherri Thompson
– Carrie Schule
– Mary Bauer
– Paul Bauer
– Robin Scott
– Chris McLelland
– Courtney Phillips
– Randal Rhea
– Cindy King
– Bevan Lee
– Melissa Thompson
– Wayne Henderson
– Michelle Moss
– Lee Chase

Over 2 years is a Corporal
– Emily Melonas
– Cecelia DeLacy
– Beth Mills
– Ashley Hofeditz
– Anne Marie Wyatt
– Jenni Harris
– Tim Romanow

Over 3 years is a Sergeant
– Teresa Faulk
– Meg Cannon
– Cameron Mosley
– Karen Massey
– Paul Tronsor
– Jessie Flanders
– Andrew Stolnicki
– Jonathan Phillips
– Ben Killerlain
– Sarah Vickers
– Shena Clemons
– Robert Hunt
– Albo Carruthers

Over 4 years is a Staff Sergeant
– Buddy Daves
– Anne Mead
– Dory Sellers
– Patrick Moore
– Oscar Adams
– Anne Kenworthy
– Alan Schaeffer

Over 5 years is a Gunnery Sergeant
– Mike Ryan
– Leslie Garey
– Henry Kenworthy
– Michelle Dunn
– Frank Jemison
– Bart Thomas
– Matt Prince
– Beth Rehrig
– George Rose

Over 6 years is a Master Sergeant
– John Winford
– Kay Ryan
– Megan Warr
– Gary Thompson
– Kay Shelton
– Leesa Jensen
– Rob Norcross
– Mike Barta
– Anne Emmerth
– Jeff Lee
– Ralph Braden

Over 7 years is a First Sergeant
– Melissa Moore
– Louis Glazer
– Scot Bearup
– Matt Green

Over 8 years is a Sergeant Major
– David Townsend
– Hank Brown
– Andrew Forsdick

Over 9 years is a Warrant Officer 1
– Pat McGhee
– Amy Singer
– Peter Pettit
– John Whittemore
– Buddy Flinn

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0645 CLASS CALLED TO ACTIVE DUTY FIVE DAYS A WEEK!

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— THE GREENLINE HALF MARATHON
— THE GOOFY CHALLENGE
— ST. JUDE FULL MARATHON
— AND ST. JUDE HALF MARATHON

Interested in running The Goofy Challenge in January 2013?

Want to run the St. Jude Full Marathon on Dec. 1, 2012?

How about The Greenline Half Marathon on Oct. 14, 2012?

What is The Goofy Challenge? It’s part of the Disney Marathon Weekend at Disney World, Orlando.
You can run the half marathon on Saturday.
Or you can run the full marathon on Sunday.
OR … you can run ’em both, The Goofy Challenge!

Training for the Goofy Challenge, the St. Jude Full Marathon, AND The Greenline Half Marathon will begin THIS SATURDAY!

Meet me this Saturday at 7am in front of the Visitor’s Center at Shelby Farms!

Cost is $150 for boot campers and $225 for non-campers for the Goofy and the St. Jude Full. Cost of The Greenline Half is $75 for active duty boot campers and $125 for “friends of boot camp.”

This first training run is a freebee if you’re not sure!

Training for the St. Jude Half will begin on September 1st. More about that later!

Following are two links. The first one is the Disney link with all of the registration info and so forth. The second link is to Boot Camper, and Goofy Challenge Finisher, Margaret Caffey’s travel website. Margaret is an Independent Vacation Planner with MEI-Travel & Mouse Fan Travel, specializing in Disney Destinations.

Using Margaret to plan your trip to Disney is FREE and no one knows Disney like she does!!! She can give you rate information for the costs of your trip to Orlando for the Challenge.

http://espnwwos.disney.go.com/events/rundisney/wdw-marathon/

www.facebook.com/MouseFanMargaret

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Piano for Sale:

Kimball console piano, in good condition, has one repairable problem. Special Boot Camper pricing available! Contact Paul or Mary pbauer1165@hotmail.com

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ARE WE FACEBOOK FRIENDS?

We should be!

HAVE YOU “LIKED” THE USMC FITNESS BOOT CAMP FACEBOOK PAGE?

You should totally do that!

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TUESDAY / THURSDAY EVENING CLASS

The Tues/Thurs evening track runs are back! We’re running at St. Mary’s School track at 5:45pm. (St. Mary’s track is behind the school/church at Walnut Grove and Perkins)

Running the track, speed work, and running in the neighborhood are options! None of the above are requirements and you are free to do your own thing. I’ll be glad to give you an assignment based on your running goals and experience!

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BOGA tomorrow morning at 5:30am – No chanting. No patchouli.

BOGA-lite at 6:45am tomorrow.

M-16 Workout on June 26 at 5:30am at the U of M! Meet in the parking lot in front of the parking garage on Zach Curlin.

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NEW BOOT CAMP DISCOUNT

If you set up an automatic payment at your bank (Boot Camp mailing address is 4888 Southern, Memphis 38117) you can subtract $10 off your fee! That’s right, instead of $75, you can pay $65!

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USMC FITNESS BOOT CAMP CLASSES – NEW STUFF!

0530 Monday through Friday
(First and second Tuesday of the month are M-16 Workouts at CUMC. Third and fourth Tuesdays are Mt. Fuji Workouts at the U of M)

0645 M-F

0830 Class is on hiatus for the summer.

5:45 PM: Monday and Wednesday, and 5:30 PM on Friday. (Tues/Thurs – track runs at 5:45am at St. Mary’s track.)

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BOOT CAMP DISCOUNTS AND FACEBOOK EXPERIMENT!

First of all, find me on Facebook and make me your friend. (Also, be sure to “like” USMC Fitness BOOT CAMP on Facebook.)

Here’s how the discount works!

It’s simple: make a Facebook status update and get a discount!

For every status update that you make that references:
“USMC Fitness Boot Camp,”
“Sgt. Tony’s Boot Camp,”
“Tony’s Boot Camp,”
or something similar, you can take $2.50 off your next reenlistment fee for each update!

You can take up to $20 off for any given month!

Your status update has to be a specific reference to USMC Fitness BOOT CAMP or to me specifically by name.

BE SURE TO TAG ME!

You can do the same thing by “checking in” at USMC Fitness Boot Camp either by using Facebook “places,” Foursquare, or any of the other “check in” apps that show up on your Facebook News Feed.

So log on and start getting your discounts now!

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FREE MONTH OF BOOT CAMP FOR YOU!

Remember that when one of your family or friends joins the program at full price because of your recruiting efforts, YOU get a free month of Boot Camp!

———————————-

WANT TO LOSE 15 POUNDS BY THE END OF NEXT MONTH?

Take Shape For Life is the BEST weight loss program I know of. If you’d like to lose weight talk to me. This is the program I used to lose the almost 30 pounds I gained after knee surgery. Let me help you!

You can also go to www.combatchallenge.tsfl.com/

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CALENDAR

A calendar has been added to the official USMC Fitness BOOT CAMP website.
http://www.usmcfitnessbootcamp.com/calendar.html

For you visual learners, you’ll find this an easy way to glance at the week or month and see where the workouts will be, if there’s a venue change.

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What would you do if money was not an issue, fear was not a factor, and failure was not an option?

To your optimum health and fitness!

SEE YOU ON THE QUARTERDECK!

Tony

Sergeant Major Tony Ludlow

USMC Fitness BOOT CAMP, Commanding
Mailing address: 4888 Southern Ave., Memphis, TN 38117
Cell Phone: 901-644-0145

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MONDAY MORNING REPORT — 6/25/2012

Jun. 25th 2012

GREETINGS ALL!

This morning’s two workouts were awesome! (I’m calling that the “Sun Tzu Workout!” Great attendance and super energy! Even the three newbs in the 0530 class hung in there and didn’t puke!

ATTENTION EVENING CLASS: If the temp goes to 95, we’ll be in the courtyard. If the heat index hits 100 or above, we’ll hit the gym.

RANK T-SHIRTS! If you’ve been a boot camper for more than a year, please send me you the date you enlisted and your American Apparel t-shirt size ASAP if you haven’t already done so! Email me at TonyLudlow@aol.com

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Why are you single? — Sgt. Tony Ludlow’s blog post for 6/20/2012

Jun. 20th 2012

By the time I got “fixed up” with Denise, I’d abandoned the traditional date of “dinner, movie, and such.” Instead I proposed the “1 hour coffee/cocktail date.” That seemed like a cheaper, less stressful proposition.

After three crash and burn traditional blind dates with Abby, Bethany, and Carly – not at the same time, of course, but one by one — I decided to rewrite the script of the blind date routine. Those three ladies were nice people, and all, but I knew in the first 10 minutes that there really wasn’t much chemistry or attraction with them. But in the traditional date scenario we were stuck with one another for the duration. And the duration meant HOURS!

So after exchanging emails with Denise, we agreed to meet at Starbucks for a 1 hour coffee “date.” I also decided to make up a couple of rules for the 1 hour coffee date. (Feel free to borrow them, single friends.)

Rule #1: meet at a public place in a “non-dicey” part of town.

Rule #2: after 1 hour the date is over. Kind of like Cinderella and the clock striking midnight.

So even if we’re having a GREAT time, I explained to Denise, after one hour, “TIME!” is called. And then if it WAS great, a follow up email or phone call to schedule another date would be the obvious next step.

I was always going into these blind date things, well, blind. Because of my website, Denise knew what I looked like and a great deal about what I do for a living. But all I could do was just sit at Starbucks hoping that the next attractive woman who walked in might be Denise. Before the date, I’d asked her how I’d recognize her and she said, “Oh, I’ll just check YOU out and if I like what I see, I’ll introduce myself.”

“And if you don’t like what you see?” I asked.

“Then you’ll be sitting there a long time by yourself,” she said with a giggle.

Well, she was either spunky and funny, or mean and bitchy.

So there I was waiting. I had to quit gawking at every woman who walked in, though. I was starting to look creepy, even to me! I brought a copy of “Rainbow Six,” and started reading. Before long I was caught up in the book and Tom Clancy took me out of that coffee shop, far away and on military patrol with John Clark.

After a while I became aware of someone standing in front of me. I looked up to see an attractive woman in her mid to late 30s, wearing business attire looking down at me with a slightly irritated look on her face.

I stood up and asked, “Denise?”

“Looks like you made the initial cut, Mr. Ludlow,” she said, shaking my hand.

“Not too troll-like, I hope?” I asked as we sat down.

“You’re not TOO ugly,” she assured me.

I liked how she was put together. Everything was perfect. She was dressed like a lady, smelled pretty, and her hair, the color of that auburn color that was popular 10 years ago, was kind of in a “bob-cut” and she looked like she’d just come from the beauty salon. I liked her judicious use of makeup. She was not all camo-ed out with makeup caked on her face. Just enough to accentuate her pretty face, but not so much that it took away from her. It was just right. And as a Marine I notice how people are dressed, especially the condition of their shoes – I know, it’s a curse — and when she crossed her legs, in addition to noticing that she had very nice legs, her shoes were clean and unscuffed. Even her heels were well cared for. The shoes may have been new or recently repaired and polished.

But what I really noticed was her pretty eyes, her personality and wit, her body language, and the quality of her voice. She sat like a lady and her body language told you that she was confident and engaging. The tone and pitch and rate of her speech were pleasant and engaging, even when she was being a smartass she was winsome, even when she was making some joke at my expense. It was a wonderful combination of sense and sound. She was confident and funny, with a little bit of an edge. She was well read and her speech was spiced with interesting grammatical constructions.

There’s a part of the brain commonly known as the “Broca area” that is responsible for language learning, processing, prediction, and anticipation. In the process of learning and using language we acquire a common lexicon of words and phrases to the extent that much of our conversation is simply repeating, reorganizing, reshuffling, and repackaging the words and phrases that we’ve been using for years. The result is that our listeners are mentally finishing our sentences and making our points long before we’re finished speaking. We all do this.

Denise had the verbal skills to trip up the Broca area of my brain! In fact, good conversationalists do this automatically or they’ve worked to develop this trait. This made conversation with Denise really interesting and enjoyable because her vocabulary and sentence structure were unpredictable, witty, and clever. It wasn’t weird or strange, but intelligent and engaging. Plus the rich quality of her voice was like the sirens in Homer’s “Odyssey!”

When I asked her what she did for a living, she said, without missing a beat and with a completely straight face, that she was a stripper! And she looked like she could have been! She was athletic and fit and pretty. After the shock wore off, she admitted to being a pharmaceutical rep. At the time I didn’t really know what that was. She was the first pharmaceutical rep I’d met.

As the minutes clicked away I was starting to ask myself the same question over and over. “Why is this pretty, smart, funny, interesting woman single?”

She thought I was funny and she sort of snorted when she laughed. I happen to think that snorting when a woman laughs is pretty adorable. We had a lot of the same hobbies and interests and talked about books and movies and music. She even asked me questions about what it was like to live in Japan and to learn Japanese. And she seemed to be “into me.” Whatever that means.

So … why was this woman single?

Finally I had to ask.

“Denise, you’re not too goofy and you’re not too ugly, so … I just gotta ask, why are you single?”

After a slight pause, she said, “Well, I’m ‘technically’ single, but my boyfriend and I are taking a break.”

MY BOYFRIEND??

TAKING A BREAK??

WHAT??

“Yeah, see we’ve been together for a couple of years and things were kind of at a weird place. So we decided to take a break,” she sheepishly explained. It was the first time she didn’t sound interesting or engaging. And it was about to get worse.

“My boyfriend, or rather the boyfriend I’m taking a break from, was in here a few minutes ago,” she said.

“Um, what?”

“Well, he knew that I was meeting some guy at Starbucks and he just had to see what I was up to.”

“Okay, lemme see if I got this right. You’re taking a break from the relationship you’re in, were in, are in, whatever … and your ‘on a break boyfriend’ was in here a little while ago checking you out because you told him about this?” I asked.

“It kind of sounds a little psycho when you say it like that,” she insisted.

“Ya think?!” I said. (“Ya think?” was very trendy and hip to say at the time.)

“I know. It does sound a little strange. Sorry about that,” she said.

“You know, Denise, that’s kind of a buzz kill for me,” I explained. Apparently our mutual friend, the one who fixed us up, failed to point out that Denise wasn’t so much “single” as she was “on break.” (That would have been good intel to have, AMY!!)

I couldn’t decide if Denise had pulled into a “rest stop” on the “boyfriend superhighway” or whether she was like a hockey player in the “penalty box” or an NBA player who needed to catch their breath and needed someone to sub for them for a few minutes while they took a breather on the bench before getting back into the fray. Either way, the wind that had heretofore filled my sails had suddenly stopped blowing and the sails emptied at about the same time I ordered “ALL STOP!” aboard the USS Ludlow. We were about to go hard to starboard.

With the hour drawing to a close, and the crew of the USS Ludlow standing down and looking confused and disappointed, I told Denise that maybe the timing wasn’t really right for a “date.” < -- UNDERSTATEMENT. I said, “Listen, I really enjoyed meeting you. You’re only marginally obnoxious and you don’t smell too offensive, and if you were technically single, I’d be somewhat willing to endure another hour or so of your foolishness on a second date. But ... So if that ever happens, you know, when you’re actually single and not just taking a break … you’ve got my email address. Hollatchaboy.” (I didn’t really say “hollatchaboy” because no one was really saying that yet.) And with that I stood up and took my leave. You single girls hoping for romance would do well to study Denise. That is if you’re interested in a guy who might be something like me. There are tons of guys for whom boobs and a pulse are the only requirements, so you don’t need any of my advice to snag one of those idiots. I heard a woman say recently, “if you’re in an argument with a man, just lift up your shirt and flash him your boobs, you’ll win!” There are a lot of morons out there, unfortunately, for whom this is a winning strategy. My gender gets stupid around attractive women and breasts. Sad and pathetic is this admission. But Denise had everything going for her, from my perspective. She was smart, funny, pretty, witty, and a great conversationalist. (There’s a huge difference between a good conversationalist and someone who just talks and talks and yammers and yammers and never shuts up.) And if you’re on a break from a relationship, you should probably not be out meeting new men. That’s just not fair to anyone. And it’s a good thing that Denise and I weren’t out on a traditional date because I’m pretty sure that after spending a few hours with her, I’d have been really bummed out to learn that she wasn’t really available. Next week I’ll tell you about Ellen, who was a cute blonde and who might have been the most spontaneous person I saw that summer. - 30 - ------------------------------------------ Next PFT is July 31. ------------------------------------------ SUB SEVEN CLUB CHALLENGE IS NEXT TUESDAY! The “Sub Seven Club!” is BACK!!! Congratulations to the following new members of the Sub Seven Club: Lee Chase, Patrick Moore, Rob Johnston, Andrew Stolnicki, Chris McLelland, Bart Thomas, and Matt Green! If you’d like to join the club, we’ll meet me at the U of M track on Tuesday morning (June 26) at 5:15am. That’ll be 15 min before our Mt. Fuji Workout. If you run the mile in under seven minutes, you get to join the club! ---------------------------------------------- CALLING ALL VETERAN BOOT CAMPERS! (Over 1 year of active duty boot camping qualifies!) I will be getting t-shirts made for you! The Rank Structure is coming back and your t-shirt will indicate that! Here’s what I need from you: - The month and year you started. If you can remember. - How many years you’ve been a boot camper - YOUR T-SHIRT SIZE (American Apparel t-shirts fit just a bit snug, but they’re soft and not uncomfortable! PLEASE RECONFIRM YOUR T-SHIRT SIZE! (American Apparel fits a little snug, but are soft and comfortable. If you prefer your shirts to have a little room, you should keep that in mind. If you already have one, you know what size to get.) If you can email me with that information TODAY, that would be GREAT! Thank you! The t-shirts are a gift from me to say THANK YOU, so don’t worry about putting one on lay-away! The Rank Structure Over 1 year is a Lance Corporal - Amber Jackson - Sherri Thompson - Carrie Schule - Mary Bauer - Paul Bauer - Robin Scott - Chris McLelland - Courtney Phillips - Randal Rhea - Cindy King - Bevan Lee - Melissa Thompson - Wayne Henderson - Michelle Moss Over 2 years is a Corporal - Emily Melonas - Cecelia DeLacy - Beth Mills - Ashley Hofeditz Over 3 years is a Sergeant - Teresa Faulk - Meg Cannon - Cameron Mosley - Karen Massey - Paul Tronsor - Jessie Flanders - Andrew Stolnicki - Jonathan Phillips - Ben Killerlain - Sarah Vickers - Shena Clemons Over 4 years is a Staff Sergeant - Buddy Daves - Anne Mead - Dory Sellers - Patrick Moore - Oscar Adams - Anne Kenworthy Over 5 years is a Gunnery Sergeant - Mike Ryan - Leslie Garey - Henry Kenworthy - Michelle Dunn - Frank Jemison - Bart Thomas Over 6 years is a Master Sergeant - John Winford - Kay Ryan - Megan Warr - Gary Thompson - Kay Shelton - Leesa Jensen - Rob Norcross - Mike Barta - Anne Emmerth - Jeff Lee - Ralph Braden Over 7 years is a First Sergeant - Melissa Moore - Louis Glazer - Scot Bearup - Matt Green Over 8 years is a Sergeant Major - David Townsend - Hank Brown - Andrew Forsdick Over 9 years is a Warrant Officer 1 - Pat McGhee - Amy Singer - Peter Pettit - John Whittemore Over 10 years is a Chief Warrant Officer 2 - Buddy Flinn On your anniversary, I’ll have a new t-shirt to give you with your new rank! Pretty cool, yes?! -------------------------------------- 0645 CLASS CALLED TO ACTIVE DUTY FIVE DAYS A WEEK! ---------------------------------------------------------------- -- THE GREENLINE HALF MARATHON -- THE GOOFY CHALLENGE -- ST. JUDE FULL MARATHON -- AND ST. JUDE HALF MARATHON Interested in running The Goofy Challenge in January 2013? Want to run the St. Jude Full Marathon on Dec. 1, 2012? How about The Greenline Half Marathon on Oct. 14, 2012? What is The Goofy Challenge? It’s part of the Disney Marathon Weekend at Disney World, Orlando. You can run the half marathon on Saturday. Or you can run the full marathon on Sunday. OR ... you can run 'em both, The Goofy Challenge! Training for the Goofy Challenge, the St. Jude Full Marathon, AND The Greenline Half Marathon will begin on June 30th. Cost is $150 for boot campers and $225 for non-campers for the Goofy and the St. Jude Full. Cost of The Greenline Half is $75 for active duty boot campers and $125 for “friends of boot camp.” Training for the St. Jude Half will begin on September 1st. More about that later! Following are two links. The first one is the Disney link with all of the registration info and so forth. The second link is to Boot Camper, and Goofy Challenge Finisher, Margaret Caffey’s travel website. Margaret is an Independent Vacation Planner with MEI-Travel & Mouse Fan Travel, specializing in Disney Destinations. Using Margaret to plan your trip to Disney is FREE and no one knows Disney like she does!!! She can give you rate information for the costs of your trip to Orlando for the Challenge. http://espnwwos.disney.go.com/events/rundisney/wdw-marathon/ www.facebook.com/MouseFanMargaret -------------------------------- PERSONAL TRAINING WITH SGT. TONY With the 8:30am class on hiatus, I have available time in mid mornings for personal training. Training can be general in nature or for sports specific for tennis players, runners, triathletes, chess players, etc. -------------------------------- ARE WE FACEBOOK FRIENDS? We should be! HAVE YOU “LIKED” THE USMC FITNESS BOOT CAMP FACEBOOK PAGE? You should totally do that! ----------------------------------- TUESDAY / THURSDAY EVENING CLASS The Tues/Thurs evening track runs are back! We’re running at St. Mary's School track at 5:45pm. (St. Mary's track is behind the school/church at Walnut Grove and Perkins) Running the track, speed work, and running in the neighborhood are options! None of the above are requirements and you are free to do your own thing. I'll be glad to give you an assignment based on your running goals and experience! ---------------------------------- BOGA tomorrow morning at 5:30am – No chanting. No patchouli. MT. FUJI WORKOUT on June 26 at 5:30am at the U of M! Meet in the parking lot in front of the parking garage on Zach Curlin. SUB-SEVEN CHALLENGE is June 26 at 5:15am at the U of M track on Zach Curlin, by the Fieldhouse. -------------------------------------------- NEW BOOT CAMP DISCOUNT If you set up an automatic payment at your bank (Boot Camp mailing address is 4888 Southern, Memphis 38117) you can subtract $10 off your fee! That's right, instead of $75, you can pay $65! --------------------------------------- USMC FITNESS BOOT CAMP CLASSES – NEW STUFF! 0530 Monday through Friday (First and second Tuesday of the month are M-16 Workouts at CUMC. Third and fourth Tuesdays are Mt. Fuji Workouts at the U of M) 0645 M-F 0830 Class is on hiatus for the summer. 5:45 PM: Monday and Wednesday, and 5:30 PM on Friday. (Tues/Thurs – track runs at 5:45am) ------------------------------------- BOOT CAMP DISCOUNTS AND FACEBOOK EXPERIMENT! First of all, find me on Facebook and make me your friend. (Also, be sure to “like” USMC Fitness BOOT CAMP on Facebook.) Here’s how the discount works! It’s simple: make a Facebook status update and get a discount! For every status update that you make that references: “USMC Fitness Boot Camp,” “Sgt. Tony’s Boot Camp,” “Tony’s Boot Camp,” or something similar, you can take $2.50 off your next reenlistment fee for each update! You can take up to $20 off for any given month! Your status update has to be a specific reference to USMC Fitness BOOT CAMP or to me specifically by name. BE SURE TO TAG ME! You can do the same thing by “checking in” at USMC Fitness Boot Camp either by using Facebook “places,” Foursquare, or any of the other “check in” apps that show up on your Facebook News Feed. So log on and start getting your discounts now! ------------------------------------- FREE MONTH OF BOOT CAMP FOR YOU! Remember that when one of your family or friends joins the program at full price because of your recruiting efforts, YOU get a free month of Boot Camp! ---------------------------------- WANT TO LOSE 15 POUNDS BY THE END OF NEXT MONTH? Take Shape For Life is the BEST weight loss program I know of. If you’d like to lose weight talk to me. This is the program I used to lose the almost 30 pounds I gained after knee surgery. Let me help you! You can also go to www.combatchallenge.tsfl.com/ ------------------------------------------- CALENDAR A calendar has been added to the official USMC Fitness BOOT CAMP website. http://www.usmcfitnessbootcamp.com/calendar.html For you visual learners, you’ll find this an easy way to glance at the week or month and see where the workouts will be, if there’s a venue change. --------------------------------------------------- What would you do if money was not an issue, fear was not a factor, and failure was not an option? To your optimum health and fitness! SEE YOU ON THE QUARTERDECK! Tony Sergeant Major Tony Ludlow USMC Fitness BOOT CAMP, Commanding Mailing address: 4888 Southern Ave., Memphis, TN 38117 Cell Phone: 901-644-0145

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Chemistry — Sgt. Tony Ludlow’s blog post for 6/13/2012

Jun. 13th 2012

Her name was Abby (not her real name) and she was about 15 years younger than me – which was fine — tall and slender, with a great smile and high cheekbones, long dark hair and the biggest brown eyes you could imagine. Unfortunately she never seemed to blink at all and that gave her that “crazy wide-eyed” look going on all the time.

As promised, this is the first installment of my 12 blind dates 10 years ago. This was my first blind date of that summer of 2002. Following a painful, but necessary, break up about three months earlier, four of my well-meaning female friends took it upon themselves to “fix me up” with some of their single friends.

None of my male friends attempted to fix me up. More about that later.

Here’s my disclaimer. I had 12 blind dates during that summer – all names changed to protect the innocent and the guilty — but no second date with any of them. They’d all seen my picture (the hazards of having a business website with your mug on it) but I’d not seen any of theirs. And I can’t say that all of them would have gone out with me a second time if I’d asked, but I know that at least three of them were at least mildly interested because they emailed me expressing their willingness to see me again. And with the exception of one of them, they were all nice people and I hope that the fates were kind to them and that they found men well suited for them after our ill-fated date during that summer 10 years ago.

I’m going to combine the first three dates together because I made the same mistake with all three of them. See what happened was, I was really new at the whole blind dating thing and thought I needed to have the full “date” experience, you know, dinner and a movie and maybe drinks after. What I discovered is that you know within the first 10 minutes of meeting a person if there’s any chemistry. And if there isn’t, well, then you’re stuck in a three or four hour commitment with someone you don’t click with and might not even like too much.

And speaking of chemistry, there’s no explaining it. It’s either there or it isn’t. You’re either attracted to that other person or you aren’t. I don’t think it’s a choice. But I think there are things that can happen and variables that can be addressed that can give attraction and chemistry a chance. You know, like good grooming, putting your best foot forward, being positive, and taking a genuine interest in the other person. And I know that there are things that a person can do or say that will most certainly send Attraction running for its life in the other direction, leaving no chance for romance.

That said, I knew within minutes of meeting Abby, Bethany, and Carly that there wasn’t a connection. Abby’s eyes scared the hell outta me and she talked incessantly. Maybe she was just nervous and that’s what made her chatter and chatter and chatter and chatter. Actually, she rambled and rambled and lectured and didn’t seem to be interested in engaging me. I was just a guy sitting across the table from her and perhaps she needed to talk constantly so that she would feel in control and wouldn’t feel vulnerable. I’m not sure. I was so thankful when we got to the movies to watch “Spiderman.” Two hours of bliss!

Bethany and I met at the restaurant and she was actually about my age. She was nice, attractive, smart, graduated from a good university, and was a runner. But she seemed distracted or maybe she wasn’t ready to date yet. She was recently divorced — only three months since her divorce was final — and those scars still had stitches in them. Even when she smiled it was as if it was her mouth only that formed the expression. Her eyes seemed uninformed that the rest of her face was supposed to be smiling. She talked a lot about her ex-husband, Steve, an attorney here in town. I heard all about how Steve seemed to only be interested in his job and golf. She had a teenaged daughter at a private Catholic school and was really proud of her. I tried to change the subject to things that might be funny or interesting and light, but she always returned to her wounds. I felt genuinely sorry for Bethany. Thankfully “The Bourne Identity” saved the day. A part of me wanted to rescue Bethany. I felt that “be a knight in shinning armor” feeling. But I knew that wasn’t good for me. I didn’t need to be her knight. She needed to do the inner work of healing and finding her stability and strength from within. And that would be best done alone.

Carly had short red hair and clear blue eyes and seemed to smile all the time. I actually thought I might have a connection with her! She was about 5’7” and with heels on she seemed to be my height. She seemed a little “dingy,” but energetic and happy. And energetic and happy are huge turn-ons! And she did something that neither Abby nor Bethany did. Carly asked questions. She seemed to be interested in knowing things about me. Even though both the other ladies knew that I’d recently returned from spending 10 years in Japan, Carly was the only one who asked about my life in Japan, though she thought Japan and China were essentially the same country. And then she laughed. And it was not a good laugh. It was a shriek or a scream or something. It was a horrible laugh, bless her heart. I know it sounds shallow, but a laugh that is a cross between a witch laughing and a slow leak in your car tire is pretty hard to overlook. I tried. I really did. After the movie I kissed her goodnight and as I pulled back from that one and only kiss, she said, “So, where do you see this going?”

Uh …

Carly was in her mid 30s and had never been married and had no children. She wanted to get married and have children … quickly! I didn’t. Carly had an agenda and a plan and needed a man.

Oh well, that laugh would have been a deal breaker anyway.

After these three dates I devised a plan that would prevent me from enduring hours and hours – and expense – with someone I didn’t have a connection. I’ll tell you next week what that plan was.

I don’t want you to get the wrong idea about my own behavior on these dates. I might have been a big goober and said stupid things that I thought were funny, but weren’t. I might have committed some social misstep that these ladies thought was ignert and unforgivable. I never heard from Bethany or Carly after that one date, but Abby emailed me to say that she had a good time and hoped we’d go out again. So at least I was reasonably sure that I hadn’t jacked up all three dates. All three ladies were good people and would make someone a good match, I was sure, just not a good match for me.

That said, what advice would I give to those ladies if they’d asked me? I’d tell Abby not to commit the rookie salesman mistake of talking all the time and dominating the conversation. A good conversation should be like two people hitting a tennis ball back and forth with no one trying to score a point, but just trying to keep the ball in play. I’d tell Bethany that she shouldn’t date until she could go the whole night without mentioning Steve. And I’d tell Carly that women with “that vibe” scares the hell out of us! Even guys who might want those same things will run for their lives if they feel trapped and forced into a situation that wasn’t their idea.

Next week I’ll tell you about Denise, who I think might have been a stripper.

– 30 –

——————————————

Next PFT is July 31.

——————————————

SUB SEVEN CLUB

The “Sub Seven Club!” is BACK!!!

Congratulations to the following new members of the Sub Seven Club:

Lee Chase, Patrick Moore, Rob Johnston, Andrew Stolnicki, Chris McLelland, Bart Thomas, and Matt Green!

If you’d like to join the club, we’ll meet me at the U of M track on Tuesday morning (June 26) at 5:15am. That’ll be 15 min before our Mt. Fuji Workout. If you run the mile in under seven minutes, you get to join the club!

———————————————-

CALLING ALL VETERAN BOOT CAMPERS! (Over 1 year of active duty boot camping qualifies!)

I will be getting t-shirts made for you! The Rank Structure is coming back and your t-shirt will indicate that! Here’s what I need from you:

– The month and year you started. If you can remember.
– How many years you’ve been a boot camper
– Your t-shirt size.

If you can email me with that information TODAY, that would be GREAT! Thank you!

The t-shirts are a gift from me to say THANK YOU, so don’t worry about putting one on lay-away!

The Rank Structure
Over 1 year is a Lance Corporal
Over 2 years is a Corporal
Over 3 years is a Sergeant
Over 4 years is a Staff Sergeant
Over 5 years is a Gunnery Sergeant
Over 6 years is a Master Sergeant
Over 7 years is a First Sergeant
Over 8 years is a Sergeant Major
Over 9 years is a Warrant Officer 1
Over 10 years is a Chief Warrant Officer 2

On your anniversary, I’ll have a new t-shirt to give you with your new rank! Pretty cool, yes?!

————————————–

0645 CLASS CALLED TO ACTIVE DUTY FIVE DAYS A WEEK!

—————————————————————-

— THE GOOFY CHALLENGE
— ST. JUDE FULL MARATHON
— AND ST. JUDE HALF MARATHON

Interested in running The Goofy Challenge in January 2013?

Want to run the St. Jude Full Marathon on Dec. 1, 2012?

What is The Goofy Challenge? It’s part of the Disney Marathon Weekend at Disney World, Orlando.
You can run the half marathon on Saturday.
Or you can run the full marathon on Sunday.
OR … you can run ’em both, The Goofy Challenge!

Training for the Goofy Challenge AND the St. Jude Full Marathon will begin on June 30th. Cost is $150 for boot campers and $225 for non-campers.

Training for the St. Jude Half will begin on September 1st. More about that later!

Following are two links. The first one is the Disney link with all of the registration info and so forth. The second link is to Boot Camper, and Goofy Challenge Finisher, Margaret Caffey’s travel website. Margaret is an Independent Vacation Planner with MEI-Travel & Mouse Fan Travel, specializing in Disney Destinations.

Using Margaret to plan your trip to Disney is FREE and no one knows Disney like she does!!! She can give you rate information for the costs of your trip to Orlando for the Challenge.

http://espnwwos.disney.go.com/events/rundisney/wdw-marathon/

www.facebook.com/MouseFanMargaret

——————————–

PERSONAL TRAINING WITH SGT. TONY

With the 8:30am class on hiatus, I have available time in mid mornings for personal training. Training can be general in nature or for sports specific for tennis players, runners, triathletes, chess players, etc.

——————————–

ARE WE FACEBOOK FRIENDS?

We should be!

HAVE YOU “LIKED” THE USMC FITNESS BOOT CAMP FACEBOOK PAGE?

You should totally do that!

———————————–

TUESDAY / THURSDAY EVENING CLASS

The Tues/Thurs evening track runs are back! We’re running at St. Mary’s School track at 5:45pm. (St. Mary’s track is behind the school/church at Walnut Grove and Perkins)

Running the track, speed work, and running in the neighborhood are options! None of the above are requirements and you are free to do your own thing. I’ll be glad to give you an assignment based on your running goals and experience!

———————————-

BOGA tomorrow morning at 5:30am – No chanting. No patchouli.

MT. FUJI WORKOUT on June 19 at 5:30am at the U of M! Meet in the parking lot in front of the parking garage on Zach Curlin.

——————————————–

NEW BOOT CAMP DISCOUNT

If you set up an automatic payment at your bank (Boot Camp mailing address is 4888 Southern, Memphis 38117) you can subtract $10 off your fee! That’s right, instead of $75, you can pay $65!

—————————————

USMC FITNESS BOOT CAMP CLASSES – NEW STUFF!

0530 Monday through Friday
(First and second Tuesday of the month are M-16 Workouts at CUMC. Third and fourth Tuesdays are Mt. Fuji Workouts at the U of M)

0645 M-W-F (will become a M-F class on June 4th)

0830 Class is on hiatus for the summer.

5:45 PM: Monday and Wednesday, and 5:30 PM on Friday. (Tues/Thurs – track runs at 5:45am)

————————————-

BOOT CAMP DISCOUNTS AND FACEBOOK EXPERIMENT!

First of all, find me on Facebook and make me your friend. (Also, be sure to “like” USMC Fitness BOOT CAMP on Facebook.)

Here’s how the discount works!

It’s simple: make a Facebook status update and get a discount!

For every status update that you make that references:
“USMC Fitness Boot Camp,”
“Sgt. Tony’s Boot Camp,”
“Tony’s Boot Camp,”
or something similar, you can take $2.50 off your next reenlistment fee for each update!

You can take up to $20 off for any given month!

Your status update has to be a specific reference to USMC Fitness BOOT CAMP or to me specifically by name.

BE SURE TO TAG ME!

You can do the same thing by “checking in” at USMC Fitness Boot Camp either by using Facebook “places,” Foursquare, or any of the other “check in” apps that show up on your Facebook News Feed.

So log on and start getting your discounts now!

————————————-

FREE MONTH OF BOOT CAMP FOR YOU!

Remember that when one of your family or friends joins the program at full price because of your recruiting efforts, YOU get a free month of Boot Camp!

———————————-

WANT TO LOSE 15 POUNDS BY THE END OF NEXT MONTH?

Take Shape For Life is the BEST weight loss program I know of. If you’d like to lose weight talk to me. This is the program I used to lose the almost 30 pounds I gained after knee surgery. Let me help you!

You can also go to www.combatchallenge.tsfl.com/

——————————————-

CALENDAR

A calendar has been added to the official USMC Fitness BOOT CAMP website.
http://www.usmcfitnessbootcamp.com/calendar.html

For you visual learners, you’ll find this an easy way to glance at the week or month and see where the workouts will be, if there’s a venue change.

—————————————————

What would you do if money was not an issue, fear was not a factor, and failure was not an option?

To your optimum health and fitness!

SEE YOU ON THE QUARTERDECK!

Tony

Sergeant Major Tony Ludlow

USMC Fitness BOOT CAMP, Commanding
Mailing address: 4888 Southern Ave., Memphis, TN 38117
Cell Phone: 901-644-0145

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Bedazzled — Sgt. Tony Ludlow’s blog post for 6/6/2012

Jun. 6th 2012

I told you last week that I’d begin the “12 Blind Dates of the Summer of 2002” today. But that was before this past weekend. That was before I took a trip to Dallas. Before I saw men in airports and realized that it was time for a re-installment of “How to Dress Like a Man.” (I’ll give you my first, and only, date with “Amy” next week.)

Feel free to forward this advice to men you know who violate these rules. You’ll be doing a lot of forwarding.

What qualifies me to give such rules, you ask? I have a PhD in Awesome, with a major concentration in Badass! hahaha. That ought to be enough, right?

Well, beyond that, I had the benefit of good male role models when I was growing up. My grandfather was an impeccable dresser and a gentleman. He came to the breakfast table every morning in dress slacks and starched shirt. He often chastised me with, “Young sir, see to your deportment.” (When I was 8 I didn’t know what that really meant, but I straightened up and “flew right.”)The other men in my family were likewise manly men who dressed like gentlemen.

And then there’s the influence of that career in the Marine Corps. The Marine Corps takes young men off the street who might not know the the first thing about shoe welts, military alignment, collar stays, braces, bloused shirts or even how to tie a tie and turns them into recruiting posters with razor sharp creases wearing the finest military dress uniform on the planet! Beyond the Corps, I’ve been reading Esquire, Men’s Journal, and Men’s Health Magazine (which always includes a section on men’s fashion) for my whole adult life.

I’m no “metro-sexual.” I know that term is played out, but everyone still knows what it means. You won’t find me wearing purple pants and a red shirt with black Chuck Taylors on my feet and highlights in my hair. I don’t do GQ, which shouldn’t be known as Gentlemen’s Quarterly, anyway. But that’s another story.

Okay, now to the weekend that was.

Airports and flying used to be something elegant. People dressed up and airports looked like a high society cocktail party. What I saw this past weekend would make my grandfather ill. My “Big Dad,” would often fly from his home in Little Rock to visit us in Fort Smith. It would have been a 3 to 4 hour drive back in those days, but was only a 20 minute flight. I remember how much fun it was to go to the airport and watch his plane land. Small airports with few flights made it easy to look to the sky and see his plane come in for a landing. Then the ground crew would roll the stairs up to the airplane and well dressed people would start filing out. When my grandfather stepped out of the airplane he would be wearing a suit. Every time. For a 20 minute flight. Those were the days of “Mad Men,” where men knew what men were supposed to look like.

Okay, enough about that.

And now, the advice.

Let’s start from the bottom and work up.
Shoes:
Dress Shoes – polish them gentlemen, and they should be the same color as your belt.
Crocs – don’t even think about it. Crocs are ridiculous on a man. It’s impossible to be a badass in Crocs. Impossible! These emasculating pieces of footwear are actually known in Japan as “toilet shoes.” When I first came back from Japan in the late 90s, I was horrified when I saw men walking around outside with those hideous toilet shoes on! Men, you will NOT get laid wearing Crocs. No woman in her right mind will have sex with you if you wear them. Consider them BCSs – birth control shoes. And if you’re married and you wear Crocs, your wife is sleeping with you out of pity or obligation or both.

Sandals/flip flops/water shoes – wear them at the beach, or the pool, or in the shower, or maybe a picnic at the park with your sweetie … but NEVER at a restaurant, or to the movie house, or on an airplane!

Socks:
Dress shoes require socks. Dark socks, black or navy blue are classic.
White socks with athletic shoes, good. White socks with dress shoes, nerd. Black socks with dress shoes … wearing shorts, ubber nerd!

Trousers (women wear “pants” by the way)
No holes in the trousers and no fancy stitching on the butt of your jeans, unless you’re a cast member of “The Jersey Shore.” And no bedazzled jean pockets.
Pleated Trousers – horrible crap that the clothing manufacturers forced on us. Just say no.

Pleated Shorts – worse than the trousers. Way worse.
Blue Jean Shorts – the absolute worst … burn them!
Blue Jean Cutoff Shorts – only on hot chicks, never on fat dudes.
Any Shorts – do NOT tuck the shirt in unless you’re a basketball player, a student, a mail carrier, or a bicycle cop. Otherwise, why would you?

Speedo Swimsuit – in Europe only and only if that is the norm and you don’t have a big gut. Or if you’re doing a triathlon. Very few can pull this off. That Beckham guy, apparently, and that may be it.

Beer Belly – lose it. In the mean time, cover it!

Shirts – wear one. If you have a big gut, make sure the shirt covers it. If you’re wearing a short sleeve shirt, do not wear a neck tie … unless you’re a car salesmen or a science teacher. If you’re wearing an Ed Hardy or Affliction shirt, it means you’re trying too hard. But it also means that it’s easier for us to pick out the D-bag in a crowd. So, “thank you, Affliction t-shirts …” <-- said like Jimmy Fallon writing his thank you notes. Neck Ties – they should be “two blocked,” that means that the collar covers the part of the tie that goes around your neck. The top button is BUTTONED and hidden by the tie! Tie the tie so that the length of the tie is long enough to touch the top of the belt buckle, but not so long that it extends below the belt buckle. Bow ties? Hahaha not unless it’s Easter Sunday and you’re 8 years old or you’re a member of a barbershop quartet, or you’re wearing a tux! (Actually, bow ties can be a nice touch, but I don’t wear them.) Military Alignment – line up of the edges of the trouser fly, belt buckle edge, and right side edge of the dress shirt placket (the part of the shirt the buttons fit trough). One straight edge from top to bottom that includes fly, buckle, and placket. Hair – wash it. No comb-overs. No ponytails. And if your hair is gray, DO NOT DYE IT! Do you hear me Liam Neeson? Do you hear me Chuck Norris? Facial hair – fuhgettabout it. If your facial hair is gray, and you’re not a Southern Colonel from Kentucky who sells chicken, don’t grow it. Soul Patch – hahaha Really? A soul patch? See Affliction t-shirt above. That just looks like you’re lazy. Hair, Not On The Head: nose hair, ear hair, back of the neck hair, unibrow – trim it! Cologne – use sparingly. A little goes a LONG LONG way! Seriously. The cologne should never announce your arrival before you arrive or linger after you’ve left. I seldom wear any. Sunglasses – take them off when talking to others. And don’t wear them at night, Corey Hart. Bling – one ring (2 max), one watch. No gold chains. Ball Caps – if you’re 25 or older, the bill goes in the front. Beautiful Women – gentlemen, act like you’ve seen one before. Don’t gawk or leer. Look at them in the eyes when you talk to them. The EYES! That would be ABOVE the neck, sir. Bluetooth Ear Piece – wear it if you’re driving a car or piloting an airplane. If you’re at On the Boarder, or Chili’s or church, or practically any other place, take the stupid thing out of your ear. You look like a self-absorbed A-hole. I promise, you are NOT that important. Seriously. Don’t wear one. Though it IS the techno-equivalent of the Affliction shirt and helps us ID the D-bag! Miscellaneous Pet Peeves and what-nots. - The word is probably, not prolly. - If you’re writing at a computer keyboard, spell the words out completely. - If your Facebook friend has lost a loved one, send them a private message. Don’t write on their wall, “tough break, man.” Really? Tough break, man? That’s what you write if your friend had a flat tire and was late for work, NOT when they have to plan a funeral. - Unless otherwise posted, you run counterclockwise around a track. - If you cheat on me with some fake boot camp or exercise program that is high risk (read, “probable overuse injuries”) don’t text me with questions about how to treat your injury. Ask the poorly trained “instructor” who injured you. - In all of human history, barking at a woman from your car has never resulted in any “action.” Gentlemen don’t bark. - Spitting, if done at all, is a private thing done discretely. - Any inadvertent expulsion of audible air from your body should be followed by an apology. It’s neither acceptable nor funny, unless you’re under 3 years old! - Applying lipstick should never be done at the table in a restaurant. Ever. In fact, you shouldn’t do anything to your face at the table, with the exception of using a napkin. No toothpicks. Ever. - If a movie has cool people walking away from an explosion in slow motion in the first 15 min of the movie, just get up and walk out immediately. Buy a box of Junior Mints. Find a different movie to watch. Sneak in. - If you’re a woman over 21, remove all of the do-dads and nick-knacks and leis hanging from your rearview mirror. It screams “high school girl!” Fellas, … MAN UP! As Corey Flood said, “The world is full of guys. Be a man.” You’re welcome! - 30 - ------------------------------------------ Next PFT is July 31. ------------------------------------------ SUB SEVEN CLUB The “Sub Seven Club!” is BACK!!! Congratulations to the following new members of the Sub Seven Club: Lee Chase, Patrick Moore, Rob Johnston, Andrew Stolnicki, Chris McLelland, Bart Thomas, and Matt Green! If you’d like to join the club, we’ll meet me at the U of M track on Tuesday morning (June 26) at 5:15am. That’ll be 15 min before our Mt. Fuji Workout. If you run the mile in under seven minutes, you get to join the club! ---------------------------------------------- 0645 CLASS CALLED TO ACTIVE DUTY FIVE DAYS A WEEK! This past Monday, June 4th, the 0645 class went to FIVE DAYS, Monday through Friday! Get some!!! ---------------------------------------------------------------- -- THE GOOFY CHALLENGE -- ST. JUDE FULL MARATHON -- AND ST. JUDE HALF MARATHON Interested in running The Goofy Challenge in January 2013? Want to run the St. Jude Full Marathon on Dec. 1, 2012? What is The Goofy Challenge? It’s part of the Disney Marathon Weekend at Disney World, Orlando. You can run the half marathon on Saturday. Or you can run the full marathon on Sunday. OR ... you can run 'em both, The Goofy Challenge! Training for the Goofy Challenge AND the St. Jude Full Marathon will begin on June 30th. Training for the St. Jude Half will begin on September 1st. Following are two links. The first one is the Disney link with all of the registration info and so forth. The second link is to Boot Camper, and Goofy Challenge Finisher, Margaret Caffey’s travel website. Margaret is an Independent Vacation Planner with MEI-Travel & Mouse Fan Travel, specializing in Disney Destinations. Using Margaret to plan your trip to Disney is FREE and no one knows Disney like she does!!! She can give you rate information for the costs of your trip to Orlando for the Challenge. http://espnwwos.disney.go.com/events/rundisney/wdw-marathon/ www.facebook.com/MouseFanMargaret -------------------------------- PERSONAL TRAINING WITH SGT. TONY With the 8:30am class on hiatus, I have available time in mid mornings for personal training. Training can be general in nature or for sports specific for tennis players, runners, triathletes, chess players, etc. -------------------------------- ARE WE FACEBOOK FRIENDS? We should be! HAVE YOU “LIKED” THE USMC FITNESS BOOT CAMP FACEBOOK PAGE? You should totally do that! ----------------------------------- TUESDAY / THURSDAY EVENING CLASS The Tues/Thurs evening track runs are back! We’re running at St. Mary's School track at 5:45pm. (St. Mary's track is behind the school/church at Walnut Grove and Perkins) Running the track, speed work, and running in the neighborhood are options! None of the above are requirements and you are free to do your own thing. I'll be glad to give you an assignment based on your running goals and experience! ---------------------------------- BOGA tomorrow morning at 5:30am – No chanting. No patchouli. M-16 WORKOUT on June 12 at 5:30am at CUMC! -------------------------------------------- NEW BOOT CAMP DISCOUNT If you set up an automatic payment at your bank (Boot Camp mailing address is 4888 Southern, Memphis 38117) you can subtract $10 off your fee! That's right, instead of $75, you can pay $65! --------------------------------------- USMC FITNESS BOOT CAMP CLASSES – NEW STUFF! 0530 Monday through Friday (First and second Tuesday of the month are M-16 Workouts at CUMC. Third and fourth Tuesdays are Mt. Fuji Workouts at the U of M) 0645 M-W-F (will become a M-F class on June 4th) 0830 Class is on hiatus for the summer. 5:45 PM: Monday and Wednesday, and 5:30 PM on Friday. (Tues/Thurs – track runs at 5:45am) ------------------------------------- BOOT CAMP DISCOUNTS AND FACEBOOK EXPERIMENT! First of all, find me on Facebook and make me your friend. (Also, be sure to “like” USMC Fitness BOOT CAMP on Facebook.) Here’s how the discount works! It’s simple: make a Facebook status update and get a discount! For every status update that you make that references: “USMC Fitness Boot Camp,” “Sgt. Tony’s Boot Camp,” “Tony’s Boot Camp,” or something similar, you can take $2.50 off your next reenlistment fee for each update! You can take up to $20 off for any given month! Your status update has to be a specific reference to USMC Fitness BOOT CAMP or to me specifically by name. BE SURE TO TAG ME! You can do the same thing by “checking in” at USMC Fitness Boot Camp either by using Facebook “places,” Foursquare, or any of the other “check in” apps that show up on your Facebook News Feed. So log on and start getting your discounts now! ------------------------------------- FREE MONTH OF BOOT CAMP FOR YOU! Remember that when one of your family or friends joins the program at full price because of your recruiting efforts, YOU get a free month of Boot Camp! ---------------------------------- WANT TO LOSE 15 POUNDS BY THE END OF NEXT MONTH? Take Shape For Life is the BEST weight loss program I know of. If you’d like to lose weight talk to me. This is the program I used to lose the almost 30 pounds I gained after knee surgery. Let me help you! You can also go to www.combatchallenge.tsfl.com/ ------------------------------------------- CALENDAR A calendar has been added to the official USMC Fitness BOOT CAMP website. http://www.usmcfitnessbootcamp.com/calendar.html For you visual learners, you’ll find this an easy way to glance at the week or month and see where the workouts will be, if there’s a venue change. --------------------------------------------------- What would you do if money was not an issue, fear was not a factor, and failure was not an option? To your optimum health and fitness! SEE YOU ON THE QUARTERDECK! Tony Sergeant Major Tony Ludlow USMC Fitness BOOT CAMP, Commanding Mailing address: 4888 Southern Ave., Memphis, TN 38117 Cell Phone: 901-644-0145

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