“I think we should see other people, “ she said.
That was code for, “Tony, from now on I will be dating other guys, and none of them will be YOU!”
We’d been dating for a couple of months and I thought everything was going pretty well. But she broke that news to me on our way into a high school basketball game … after I’d bought her ticket.
Our school’s team had an open week, so we weren’t playing. Instead everyone from my school went to our cross-town rival’s game to cheer against them! Amanda (not her real name, because it’s rumored that she actually reads these posts!) broke the news to me as we walked into the gym.
That was a real buzz kill for sure. Actually, to be honest with you, it felt like a punch to the gut. The kind you’re not ready for and then knocks all of the wind out of your lungs and makes your knees buckle. I felt myself get weak and sick all of a sudden. I wanted to launch into a defense or a sales pitch, and try to talk Amanda out of her decision to quit me. You know, remind her how great I was, how funny I was, what a nice guy I was and how great a kisser I was. Tell her that she’d be FULL of crazy to break up with me!
It wasn’t the first time that I’d heard those words. The first time it happened I cried in my milkshake about it to my older brother Jack. I told him I was going to try to talk that Vickie out of her decision to break up with me. I was gonna plead my case. Vickie was gonna get a bullet point list of all of my attributes and at the end she’d be convinced of her folly. I was going to prove to her that dumping me was a terrible idea. I told him that with grand resolve and a new found confidence.
He told me to “shut the ‘firetruck’ up!” Except he didn’t say “firetruck.” But it DID begin with an f and end with a k.
My older and wiser brother explained that if a girl – in this case, the aforementioned Vickie — had dated me … and had taken a long hard look at me … and then decided to try her luck elsewhere … I was to LET THAT BENCH (again, not the word he used) GO!
But it hurt, I told him. And besides, I was SURE that I’d be able to change her mind with my awesome powers of logic, reason, and persuasion.
I disregarded Jack’s advice and attempted to talk Vickie into liking me again.
You guessed it.
Crash. Burn. No survivors.
Jack was right. I was an idiot.
So this time when Amanda started talking foolish, I was ready. I wouldn’t give into the temptation of reading her my resume. I just looked at Amanda and all I could think to say was, “Really? You break up with me AFTER I buy you a ticket to get in here?”
I shrugged my shoulders, chuckled, and said “well, see ya round!” and walked away with my heart broken, but my head held high … but walking away nonetheless. No looking back. No begging. No pleading. No trying to change her mind. None of that insecure, immature, mamby pamby crap! No sir!
I found some of my buddies already in the stands and quickly joined them and then tried not to look at Amanda during the game.
Moving on with your life after the door has slammed shut is one of the hardest things to do. Sometimes loss gives us an option. Most of the time it doesn’t. There’s often no negotiating. There’s nothing that can be done. Death of a loved one is like that. Losing your job is like that. You can’t avoid it, get around it, or sneak by it. You just have to go through it.
Sometimes relationships can be fixed, but that requires two people who want it badly enough to do the hard work to fix it; two people who are still emotionally invested in the relationship and in one another. However, I think when one person has emotionally “checked out” of the relationship that there’s no fixing it. The relationship either ends or just goes on life support “for the benefit of the children” or for financial reasons or for religious reasons. But there’s hardly any life in the relationship after that.
Sometimes loss presents us with a chance at a new opportunity. Sometimes letting go allows us to grow. Sometimes the crisis causes us to examine ourselves and choose another path for our lives. Sometimes the hardships force us to look inward and do some real life changing analysis. Sometimes we’re able to take that pain and use it as fuel to redefine and redirect the trajectory of our lives. Sometimes it’s the catalyst to new success and happiness. And sometimes … it’s only pain with no rhyme or reason.
As for Amanda, I left that game with Susan!
Susan was in the stands just in front of my buddies and I chatted her up most of the game. We were in the same history class but sat on opposite sides of the classroom and had never really talked. She was way cute, smart, funny, and she thought I was some of those things too. (By the way, Susan and I are still friends!)
Now get this. Amanda got really really mad at me cuz I hooked up with Susan at the game!
On the following Monday, Amanda started moving out of my locker. We’d “moved in together.” Which in high school meant that she had moved her books and stuff into my locker so that we’d see each other during the day. And now she was moving out and she called me a mean name when she left my locker for the last time. The name she called me rhymes with “plastered” and casts some doubt on the marital status of my parents at the time of my birth.
Didn’t SHE break up with ME? Totally confused, I asked a couple of my female friends what was up with that. Apparently, according to my female consultants, there was an unwritten “grieving period” that the dumpee was to observe. As the dumpee, I was failing to acknowledge and observe that grieving period properly to Amanda’s satisfaction. The first half of a high school basketball game was not a sufficient “grieving period.” I was happy too soon and Amanda was mad at me for that.
But Amanda hadn’t said, “Tony, I like you but we have some problems that I’d like to work on with you.”
She didn’t say, “Tony, I’d really like for us to move to the next level in our relationship, (whatever THAT would have been) but there are some things that aren’t working for me. Can we talk about them and work them out?”
She just said “I don’t like you anymore and I want to date other guys … guys I DO like. Not you! You are NOT one of those guys I want to date any more.”
A month later when I was dating Susan, Amanda wanted to get back together.
On that note, let me introduce a series of stories I’ll begin next week.
This is the 10 year anniversary of something I call my “Summer of Blind Dates!” Ten years ago, after a difficult but necessary breakup, well-meaning friends went about the business of “fixing me up” with women they knew and thought would be “perfect” for me. They thought that would be helpful, bless their hearts. So over the summer of 2002 I went out on no less than 12 blind dates!!! That’s right! Twelve! And not one of them was followed by a second date! They were awful, I tell ya! For years now I’ve been threating to write about those dates and the horror of them. So next week I’ll begin the painful, but hilarious, (I hope) process of giving you one date per week!
See you next week with installment number one!
- 30 -
Fifth Tuesday Physical Fitness Test is DONE, ALL DONE!
CONGRATULATIONS TO ALL you brave souls who got up early the day after Memorial Day, overcame your fears of the test, the heat and humidity, and took the challenge! Awesome job, everyone!
Here are the results:
Female push-up winner: Meg O’Neill Cannon, Honorable Mention: Teresa Faulk
Female sit-up winner: Ashley Hofeditz
Female 1.5 mile run winner: Melissa Moore (aka, “The Weiner Dog”)
Male Winner: Patrick E. Moore captured all male categories yesterday morning! Patrick’s push-ups, sit-ups, and 1.5 mile run were tops among all men! Congratulations, Patrick!
Next PFT is on July 31.
SUB SEVEN CLUB
The “Sub Seven Club!” is BACK!!!
Seven Boot Campers ran 1 mile in under seven minutes (sub-seven) last week.
Congratulations to the following new members of the Sub Seven Club:
Lee Chase, Patrick Moore, Rob Johnston, Andrew Stolnicki, Chris McLelland, Bart Thomas, and Matt Green!
If you’d like to join the club, we’ll meet me at the U of M track on Tuesday morning (June 26) at 5:15am. That’ll be 15 min before our Mt. Fuji Workout. If you run the mile in under seven minutes, you get to join the club!
0645 CLASS CALLED TO ACTIVE DUTY!
The masses have compelled me to make the 0645 class a FIVE DAY A WEEK CLASS!
Beginning next Monday, June 4th, the 0645 class will go to FIVE DAYS, Monday through Friday!
– THE GOOFY CHALLENGE
– ST. JUDE FULL MARATHON
– AND ST. JUDE HALF MARATHON
Interested in running The Goofy Challenge in January 2013?
Want to run the St. Jude Full Marathon on Dec. 1, 2012?
What is The Goofy Challenge? It’s part of the Disney Marathon Weekend at Disney World, Orlando.
You can run the half marathon on Saturday.
Or you can run the full marathon on Sunday.
OR … you can run ‘em both, The Goofy Challenge!
Training for the Goofy Challenge AND the St. Jude Full Marathon will begin on June 30th.
Training for the St. Jude Half will begin on September 1st.
Following are two links. The first one is the Disney link with all of the registration info and so forth. The second link is to Boot Camper, and Goofy Challenge Finisher, Margaret Caffey’s travel website. Margaret is an Independent Vacation Planner with MEI-Travel & Mouse Fan Travel, specializing in Disney Destinations.
Using Margaret to plan your trip to Disney is FREE and no one knows Disney like she does!!! She can give you rate information for the costs of your trip to Orlando for the Challenge.
PERSONAL TRAINING WITH SGT. TONY
With the 8:30am class on hiatus, I have available time in mid mornings for personal training. Training can be general in nature or for sports specific for tennis players, runners, triathletes, chess players, etc.
ARE WE FACEBOOK FRIENDS?
We should be!
HAVE YOU “LIKED” THE USMC FITNESS BOOT CAMP FACEBOOK PAGE?
You should totally do that!
TUESDAY / THURSDAY EVENING CLASS
The Tues/Thurs evening track runs are back! We’re running at St. Mary’s School track at 5:45pm. (St. Mary’s track is behind the school/church at Walnut Grove and Perkins)
Running the track, speed work, and running in the neighborhood are options! None of the above are requirements and you are free to do your own thing. I’ll be glad to give you an assignment based on your running goals and experience!
BOGA tomorrow morning at 5:30am – No chanting. No patchouli.
M-16 WORKOUT on June 5 at 5:30am at CUMC!
NEW BOOT CAMP DISCOUNT
If you set up an automatic payment at your bank (Boot Camp mailing address is 4888 Southern, Memphis 38117) you can subtract $10 off your fee! That’s right, instead of $75, you can pay $65!
USMC FITNESS BOOT CAMP CLASSES – NEW STUFF!
0530 Monday through Friday
(First and second Tuesday of the month are M-16 Workouts at CUMC. Third and fourth Tuesdays are Mt. Fuji Workouts at the U of M)
0645 M-W-F (will become a M-F class on June 4th)
0830 Class is on hiatus for the summer.
5:45 PM: Monday and Wednesday, and 5:30 PM on Friday. (Tues/Thurs – track runs at 5:45am)
BOOT CAMP DISCOUNTS AND FACEBOOK EXPERIMENT!
First of all, find me on Facebook and make me your friend. (Also, be sure to “like” USMC Fitness BOOT CAMP on Facebook.)
Here’s how the discount works!
It’s simple: make a Facebook status update and get a discount!
For every status update that you make that references:
“USMC Fitness Boot Camp,”
“Sgt. Tony’s Boot Camp,”
“Tony’s Boot Camp,”
or something similar, you can take $2.50 off your next reenlistment fee for each update!
You can take up to $20 off for any given month!
Your status update has to be a specific reference to USMC Fitness BOOT CAMP or to me specifically by name.
BE SURE TO TAG ME!
You can do the same thing by “checking in” at USMC Fitness Boot Camp either by using Facebook “places,” Foursquare, or any of the other “check in” apps that show up on your Facebook News Feed.
So log on and start getting your discounts now!
FREE MONTH OF BOOT CAMP FOR YOU!
Remember that when one of your family or friends joins the program at full price because of your recruiting efforts, YOU get a free month of Boot Camp!
WANT TO LOSE 15 POUNDS BY THE END OF NEXT MONTH?
Take Shape For Life is the BEST weight loss program I know of. If you’d like to lose weight talk to me. This is the program I used to lose the almost 30 pounds I gained after knee surgery. Let me help you!
You can also go to www.combatchallenge.tsfl.com/
A calendar has been added to the official USMC Fitness BOOT CAMP website.
For you visual learners, you’ll find this an easy way to glance at the week or month and see where the workouts will be, if there’s a venue change.
What would you do if money was not an issue, fear was not a factor, and failure was not an option?
To your optimum health and fitness!
SEE YOU ON THE QUARTERDECK!
Sergeant Major Tony Ludlow
USMC Fitness BOOT CAMP, Commanding
Mailing address: 4888 Southern Ave., Memphis, TN 38117
Cell Phone: 901-644-0145