Sergeant Tony's Blog

My favorite Esquire magazine feature is called “What I’ve Learned.”

It’s not written by a magazine staffer. it’s written by famous non-staffers. Guys like Dennis Hopper, Robert De Nero, Jeff Bezos, and Rodney Dangerfield.

I thought that Esquire would ask me to write for that feature, especially since Monday was my birthday and all. But so far the phone hasn’t rung.

Unitl they do, I’m going to update and republish my own feature on my birthday. So here’s the 2011 installment of …

“What I’ve Learned, “ by Tony Ludlow

Best advice my mother ever gave me: “Son, you can do anything or be anything you want … if you put your mind to it.”

Worst advice my mother ever gave me: Basically everything she told me about girls was wrong, wrong, wrong. Sorry mom, but “be nice, be sweet, be complimentary, give them gifts” was a little flawed. Besides, bein’ sweet feels icky.

My grandfather told me that it was unnecessary to tell others “how smart you are, how much money you have, or what you’ve accomplished in life.” They’ll know without you telling them. And if they don’t know, declaring it will only bore them.

What he told me about being smart: the person who speaks last, or not at all, is the smartest person in the room. You’ve got two ears and one mouth. Do the math.

What he told me about money: the love of it is evil. Obsession over it will ruin your life. Opulence and extravagance are sins. Live below your means. Pay off your credit card bill at the end of the month. Be a good tipper.

If it looks too good to be true, it probably is.

What he told me about accomplishments: accumulate them for your own benefit because no one is going to be that interested in hearing about them.

Most profound thing I was told at 18: “Your country has provided you with 18 years of freedom, opportunity, security, and happiness … now it’s time to give something back. Join the Marine Corps or the Peace Corps, but find a way to serve your country and your fellow man.”

What the Marine Corps taught me: the meaning of self discipline, perseverance, courage, pride, leadership, honor, and the power of humor. My academic vitae will not be on my headstone, but “Marine” will be.

For my sons and the players I coached I composed a list of 50 Things Gentleman Should Be. Here are 10 of those that I shared with the MUS student body last year.

1. A Gentleman stands up to greet a woman, an older person, or a superior. When in doubt, get to your feet.
2. A Gentleman dresses appropriately for the occasion. When in doubt, dress up.
3. A Gentleman reads books. He knows that the written word feeds his mind, gives him pleasure, and helps to make him a more interesting man.
4. A Gentleman places great value on honor and loyalty.
5. A Gentleman’s handshake is as good as his word and his word is as good as a signed contract.
6. A Gentleman is confident without being arrogant.
7. A Gentleman can say “I’m sorry, I was wrong” and mean it.
8. A Gentleman knows the names of those who serve them – the janitor, the clerk, the salesperson – and treats them respectfully and without condescension.
9. A Gentleman doesn’t stare, leer, or gawk at an attractive woman. Act like you’ve seen one before.
10. A Gentleman doesn’t scratch, yawn, spit, or make “body noises” in public.

Women who are confident and clever are the most attractive women I know! And if they like to smile and if they have a great laugh … that’s the best!

If I’ve been dating a woman for a couple of months and she “out of the blue” doesn’t want to see me anymore, (like THAT’S ever happened!) it was probably something I did. If she was attracted to me at one point and then suddenly wasn’t, then I probably did something to kill the attraction.

And vice-versa.
(Next week I’m going to tell single women why they’re single. Stay tuned! I’ll probably start getting death threats!)

Attraction is not a choice. But it can be sabotaged or assassinated.

I don’t trust extremes, political, religious, or social activist.

I don’t trust people with agendas. They usually just want my money.

I don’t trust people who don’t have many friends, especially not many long term friends.

I don’t trust people whose friends all come from one gene pool and one ethnic color.

I don’t trust people who don’t like dogs and I don’t trust the people who aren’t liked by dogs.

There is no accounting for taste (“WHAT does she see in THAT guy?” has been asked since the Stone Age).

The true measure of a man has nothing to do with bank accounts or possessions.

Everyone deserves the benefit of the doubt, a second opportunity, and a chance to be forgiven.

A great smile, like a great laugh, all come from the heart! I can’t think of anything better than those two things.

I’ve learned the difference between style and substance. Good conversation trumps good looks every single time!

I’ve learned to define “enough.” It’s different from settling.

When I meet someone for the first time, I fully expect to like them. New people start out with an “A” in my book.

I’ve learned that the attitude someone has, the way they process the world around them, the spirit that they use to engage life, and the energy they exude everyday are more important than looks, money, beauty, or education. A good attitude will compensate for a lack in those four things. Beautiful, rich, and educated will never compensate for someone who’s boring, foul, or negative.

Knowing who you are is the most important knowledge you’ll acquire. I am not my khakis, my bank account, my car, my house, my status, my age, my job, or my family name. It took me a long time to figure that out.

Everyone has these three things in limited supply and they must be respected and treated with care: time, energy, and money. Don’t waste anyone’s or your own.

I’ve made many mistakes and I have many regrets … but not even God can change the past, so forgive yourself and move on, as best as you can … and purpose to do better.

Find out what the right thing is to do, and then do that.

Play nice.

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RIVER PIRATES SETTNG SAIL – SIGN UP NOW!!

WHITEWATER RAFTING VOYAGE IN AUGUST

The River Pirates of USMC Fitness BOOT CAMP set sail on August 27th! Wanna join the crew?

Would you like to go to the Ocoee River and do some whitewater rafting?

We’ve taken groups in the past to the Ocoee and had LOTS of fun! You don’t have to be experienced at all. Beginners have the best stories to tell!

If you’d like to go, call Ocoee Outdoors (our outfitter), mention my name for the group, and then let me know that you’ll be part of the crew! Ocoee Outdoors is 1-800-533-7767. You can find more details on the website blog called “Whitewater Rafing.”

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I GOTTA GUY!!!

I like to share the names of people I do business with and trust so that if you need services that they offer you’ll know someone trustworthy to contact.

1. Margaret Caffey.
Thinking about a trip to Walt Disney World, Universal to see Harry Potter, or maybe a Disney Cruise – Margaret Caffey has turned her passion for all things Disney into a career and is now a travel agent with MEI & Mouse Fan Travel. For all your Disney travel planning or just to ask a question call Margaret at 901-828-6354. Also please take a second to ‘like’ her Facebook page at Mouse Fan Margaret. (https://www.facebook.com/login/setashome.php?ref=login#!/pages/Mouse-Fan-Margaret/130316623686981).

PS – I hear she knows a lot about all the cruise lines too! Margret is MY personal Disney trip planner! No one, and I mean NO ONE, knows more about Disney than Mags!

2. Randal Rhea, Attorney at Law. Our own “heavy hitter!” Tickets, criminal matters, divorces, and such. 901-299-0596

3. Richard Bourland – “Your Boot Camp Handyman” – Home Improvement, Carpentry, Custom Bunk Beds and other Woodworking Services, rebourland@yahoo.com, 901.826-6695. www.midsouthbunkbeds.com

You can see a much longer and detailed list of people I refer on the USMC Fitness BOOT CAMP website blog page. Once on the blog page use the search window, keyword “Buddy,” and it’ll take you to that page.

If you drop my name, you might get a discount. But for sure you’ll get their sympathy and prayers!

If you’d like to be listed here in “I GOTTA GUY” just let me know!

—————————————-

UNEMPLOYED PERSON’S DISCOUNT

If you’ve been a Boot Camper in the past and you are currently unemployed, you can get a special discount. Email me for the details. Seriously! Email me! NOW! And don’t be embarrassed. I will make you an offer that you can’t refuse. Seriously.

—————————————

LAW ENFORCEMENT AND FIRE DEPARTMENT DISCOUNTS

Police Officers, Sheriff’s Deputies, and Memphis Firefighters qualify for a special discount! It’s the least I can do to ensure that our law enforcement officers and firefighters are fit for their job!! Pass the word!

—————————————

BOGA tomorrow morning at 0530.

NEXT TUESDAY, AUGUST 2 (the 12 year anniversary of USMC Fitness BOOT CAMP) M-16 WORKOUT AT 0530 AT CUMC!

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SGT. TONY’S HALF MARATHON TRAINING!

It’s getting close.

Training for the St. Jude Half Marathon begins on Saturday, September 4. My training program is perfect for the first time half marathoner as well as the half marathon veteran!

Can you do this?

If by the end of August you can run 3 miles without stopping in under 35 min, you’ll be ready to begin training. This assumes that you’re doing an hour of continuous cardio on the weekends. There’s 5 weeks to get ready! Not sure? Let’s talk.

Training is open to all.

Cost for the three month program is $75 for members of USMC Fitness Boot Camp and $120 for non-boot campers.

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HEAT INDEX

Anytime the heat index is 100 or above we’ll go inside.

If the conditions warrant it, the evening class may also be found on the courtyard inside the day school area.

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NEW PRICING FOR FAMILIES AND COUPLES

If you’re part of a family (usually husband and wife) that does USMC Fitness BOOT CAMP together, a new pricing plan goes into effect in August! Ask me about it! You’ll like it!

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AUGUST IS ANNIVERSARY MONTH!

Next week we celebrate 12 years of USMC Fitness BOOT CAMP!!!

To mark the occasion we’ll have a come and go party at Old Venice Italian Restaurant on Tuesday evening, August 9th from 6 to 8:30. Pizza’s are on me, drinks are on you! You and your significant other(s) are welcome!!

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AWOL

Have you been away from USMC Fitness BOOT CAMP for a while? Comfortable in Turdeville, are ya? Wanna come back? C’mon then!! I won’t bite you! I promise!

I know how it is. You miss a day or two … and then it’s been a week or two … and then it’s a month or two …

Get back on track. Come back to the Quarterdeck! No matter how long you’ve been away, you do NOT have to pay the initiation fee again!

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PAYING THE PIED PIPER … a message from the Accounting Dept.

Just a reminder that payment is generally expected on the first of each month, but always appreciated whenever it shows up! Check your records and see if you’re due. Don’t make me send Vinnie, Bobby, and Lazy Eyed Lenny to collect! Thanks everyone!

Cash is fine, or course. And checks are easiest for me. And you can also pay online on the website (www.usmcfitnessbootcamp.com)

Additionally, if you would be so kind as to write in the “memo” section of your check, or the memo section of the online pay section, what month(s) the check is for, I’d really appreciate it. “Services rendered,” “Torture,” “Abuse,” “Pool cleaning,” and “For marijuana” are all very funny … but a month stated would be helpful too!

If you prefer to pay in cash, let me ask you to put the money in an envelope with your name and month(s) you’re paying for on the outside of the envelope? This will hopefully ensure that my bookkeeping is accurate. Thank you very much!

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BOOT CAMP DISCOUNTS AND FACEBOOK EXPERIMENT!

Facebook has now reached a major milestone: 500 million users!

That’s the population of the US, Japan, and Germany combined! Half a BILLION people are on Facebook.

In the world of cyber-marketing, Facebook usage can’t be ignored.

So here’s our experiment.

Make a Facebook status update and get a discount!

For every status update that you make that references:
“USMC Fitness Boot Camp,”
“Sgt. Tony’s Boot Camp,”
“Tony’s Boot Camp,”
or something similar, you can take $2.50 off your reenlistment fee for each update, up to $20 off for any given month!

Your status update has to be a specific reference to USMC Fitness BOOT CAMP or to me specifically by name.

You can also use “Places” on Facebook or Foursquare linked to your Facebook account to “check in” and you’ll get the same discount!

Use your own wording and personality, just include the specifics.

So log on and get started today!

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WANT TO LOSE 10 to 15 POUNDS BY THE END OF AUGUST?

Take Shape For Life is the BEST weight loss program I know of. If you’d like to lose weight talk to me. This is the program I used to lose the almost 30 pounds I gained after knee surgery. Let me help you!

You can also go to www.combatchallenge.tsfl.com/

——————————————-

BOGA tomorrow at CUMC @ 0530. BOGA is one half hard core boot camp fitness and one half power yoga … BO-GA!

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TUESDAY & THURSDAY EVENING CLASS

The Tuesday and Thursday evening classes meet at St. Mary’s track. These are cardio (walking/jogging/running) workouts and they begin at 5:45 PM.

St. Mary’s is at the corner of Walnut Grove and Perkins.

———————————————-

CALENDAR

A calendar has been added to the official USMC Fitness BOOT CAMP website.

http://www.usmcfitnessbootcamp.com/calendar.html

For you visual learners, you’ll find this an easy way to glance at the week or month and see where the workouts will be, if there’s a venue change.

——————-

What would you do if money were not an issue, fear were not a factor, and failure were not an option?

To your optimum health and fitness!

SEE YOU ON THE QUARTERDECK!

Tony

Sergeant Major Tony Ludlow

USMC Fitness BOOT CAMP, Commanding
Mailing address: 4888 Southern Ave., Memphis, TN 38117
Cell Phone: 901-644-0145
www.usmcfitnessbootcamp.com

http://www.combatchallenge.tsfl.com/esuite/home/combatchallenge/

JK Rowling and Stephenie Meyer aren’t quitters.

These are women who would NOT take “no” for an answer. They were determined. Nothing was going to dissuade them. JK Rowling’s Harry Potter was rejected by 12 publishers, after she finally secured an agent.

Stephenie Meyer’s “Twilight” vampires were rejected by 14 literary agents.

Add them up and you’ve got 26 knuckleheads who said “no.”

Those 26 must be kicking themselves every single day of their lives. Be glad that you’re not one of them! Imagine getting up every morning and turning on the news and seeing your reject becoming a gazillion-aire darling of the publishing world. Imagine those poor slobs having to see authors they passed on being published in over 30 different languages with a worldwide readership in the multiplied millions! And then those books made into even MORE money earning blockbuster movies! Oh the humanity!!

I’m one of those who’ve added to the pile of Potter profits. I’ve got all 7 books and seen all 7 movies! Expecto Patronum! Long live Harry, I say!

So what do we really learn from Ms. Rowling and Ms. Meyer? According to Stephen King, you learn that ‎”Harry Potter is about confronting fears, finding inner strength and doing what is right in the face of adversity. Twilight is about how important it is to have a boyfriend.”

I think we learn the value of persistence from both authors.

Dreams and goals are realized by Persistence.

Thomas Carlyle said, “Permanence, perseverance, and persistence in spite of all obstacles, discouragement, and impossibilities: it is this, that in all things distinguishes the strong from the weak.”

Dreams aren’t qualified or validated by commercial success or mass appeal. Making money, being popular, having the approval of your peers is fine. But if the Harry Potter story or the Twilight book had never been published, their authors would have been no less gifted, their talents no less significant. But by their persistence they achieved international acclaim, recognition, and praise. And an obscenely large pile of money!

You’ve got dreams and goals, right?

Aren’t there things you want to do? Life changes that you simply must make? Isn’t enough enough? Hasn’t living by the default setting finally worn thin?

These things that you want to do might even be things that few people support. Things that people in your life might even be critical of?

So what? Who cares?

I had a dream of living in Japan. The desire began when I was in the first grade. How many first graders in Fort Smith, Arkansas want to live in Japan? I had very little support for that dream from friends and family. They thought it was a passing fancy. A phase. It would pass. But I did it anyway.

I decided to live my life on my own terms. I wasn’t going to live it by default, by the permission of others, or according to someone else’s idea of what my life should look like. To do so would have made my life a prison, trapped in the cell of someone else’s image of what my life should be. Living by someone else’s leave.

At one of my going away parties before I moved to Japan, an elderly family member wanted to discourage me from moving there and said, “Well … you know they bombed Pearl Harbor.” To which I said, in my usual smartypants way, “Again??”

Your dreams and goals may not lead to wealth or fame. But then again, they may. They might be the kind of goals and dreams that are rewarded with all of those things. Or none of them. They may simply give you peace at night.

And seriously, is there anything more desirable in the world than peace at night? Putting your head down on your pillow and breathing in deep the breath of satisfaction and relaxation as you exhale. Ahhhh … Peace is priceless.

Keep your dreams alive. Don’t be discouraged by people who say “no” to you, or tell you that you can’t, or tell you that your idea is stupid. It’s your life. Live it on YOUR terms! Your terms.

There are reasonable times when you can’t quit your day job and start pursuing your dream full time. There may be reasons for you to delay your life changing decision for a season. You may have to be a bit patient. Each situation is different. There may be a prudent and measured approach to realizing your dream. But realize it you must! Or live in a prison of your own construction.

And are you really interested in settling? I think settling may be worse than prison, quite frankly. And you see it all the time. People settle for a particular job or career, or a particular spouse, or a particular lifestyle. They trade something precious for something common and humdrum. I have young female friends who are in such a big hurry to get married that I think they’d say yes to the first love starved moron who asked them. (I’m going to write about that next week. Get ready. It’s gonna be a bumpy ride.)

You might be at a place today, right this very minute, to make some real and meaningful changes in your life! So what are you waiting for?

They might be changes that won’t be met with great support from people you know. But you know what, they aren’t living YOUR life. YOU are!

Now here’s the thing. Most people want you to keep doing what you’re doing right now because it makes “them” comfortable. They know how to deal with you in your present situation. They know what label to put on you, how to control you, how to respond to you. They want your life to keep looking just like it is right now because it comforts THEM!

But if you flip the script, so to speak, and you alter their order of things, you give them an unwanted paradigm shift that makes them uncomfortable, uneasy, even fearful. Changes in your life will mean changes in theirs. And no one wants change. Though change is one of the few constants in life.

Your dreams and goals may not involve wizards and werewolves and international acclaim. But whatever they are, pursue them. Plan for them. Think on them. Nurture them. Make the necessary changes to facilitate them. And then when the time is right, pull the trigger. Make a move. Put the plan into motion. Take the next step!

And if not now … then … when?

If not now … then … when? When will you actually pursue your dreams?

“The bow is drawn, make straight the arrow.”

—————————————–

“Get fit for summer, stay fit for life!”

“If you want to look like an athlete, train like one!”

—————————————-

PAYING THE PIED PIPER … a message from the Accounting Dept.

Just a reminder that payment is generally expected on the first of each month, but always appreciated whenever it shows up! Check your records and see if you’re due. Don’t make me send Vinnie, Bobby, and Lazy Eyed Lenny to collect! Thanks everyone!

Cash is fine, or course. And checks are easiest for me. And you can also pay online on the website (www.usmcfitnessbootcamp.com)

Additionally, if you would be so kind as to write in the “memo” section of your check, or the memo section of the online pay section, what month(s) the check is for, I’d really appreciate it. “Services rendered,” “Torture,” “Abuse,” “Pool cleaning,” and “For marijuana” are all very funny … but a month stated would be helpful too!

If you prefer to pay in cash, let me ask you to put the money in an envelope with your name and month(s) you’re paying for on the outside of the envelope? This will hopefully ensure that my bookkeeping is accurate. Thank you very much!

—————————————

IT’S HOT, HOT, HOT!

If the heat index is 100 or more, we’ll “probably” move the Quarterdeck inside. Be sure to hydrate before the workouts and don’t forget to bring water with you!

The evening class will use the courtyard – where the flagpole is – on days when the heat index is below 100 but the sunshine makes it a little too toasty for the Quarterdeck to be in the fenced in playground.

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ST. JUDE HALF MARATHON!

The St. Jude Half Marathon will be the first Saturday in December.

My St. Jude Half Marathon Training will begin on Saturday, September 3.

To qualify for the training you only need to be able to “run” 3 miles in 36 minutes or less. YOU CAN DO THIS!! I’ve trained hundreds of first time half marathoners to run it! Let me train you and your friends.

—————————————-

RIVER PIRATES SETTNG SAIL – SIGN UP NOW!!

WHITEWATER RAFTING VOYAGE IN AUGUST

The River Pirates of USMC Fitness BOOT CAMP set sail on August 27th! Wanna join the crew?

Would you like to go to the Ocoee River and do some whitewater rafting?

We’ve taken groups in the past to the Ocoee and had LOTS of fun! You don’t have to be experienced at all. Beginners have the best stories to tell!

If you’d like to go, call Ocoee Outdoors (our outfitter), mention my name for the group, and then let me know that you’ll be part of the crew! Ocoee Outdoors is 1-800-533-7767. You can find more details on the website blog called “Whitewater Rafing.”

—————————————-

I GOTTA GUY!!!

I like to share the names of people I do business with and trust so that if you need services that they offer you’ll know someone trustworthy to contact.

1. Rob McGregor, Mr. McGregor’s Garden – lawn mowing, yard maintainence, and such. 901-428-6401
2. Randal Rhea, Attorney at Law. Our own “heavy hitter!” Tickets, criminal matters, divorces, and such. 901-299-0596
3. Richard Bourland – “Your Boot Camp Handyman” – Home Improvement, Carpentry, Custom Bunk Beds and other Woodworking Services, rebourland@yahoo.com, 901.826-6695. www.midsouthbunkbeds.com

You can see a much longer and detailed list of people I refer on the USMC Fitness BOOT CAMP website blog page. Once on the blog page use the search window, keyword “Buddy,” and it’ll take you to that page.

If you drop my name, you might get a discount. But for sure you’ll get their sympathy and prayers!

If you’d like to be listed here in “I GOTTA GUY” just let me know!

—————————————-

UNEMPLOYED PERSON’S DISCOUNT

If you’ve been a Boot Camper in the past and you are currently unemployed, you can get a special discount. Email me for the details. Seriously! Email me! NOW! And don’t be embarrassed. I will make you an offer that you can’t refuse. Seriously.

—————————————

LAW ENFORCEMENT AND FIRE DEPARTMENT DISCOUNTS

Police Officers, Sheriff’s Deputies, and Memphis Firefighters qualify for a special discount! It’s the least I can do to ensure that our law enforcement officers and firefighters are fit for their job!! Pass the word!

—————————————

BOGA tomorrow morning at 0530.

NEXT TUESDAY, JULY 26, MT. FUJI WORKOUT AT 0530 AT THE U OF M!

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BOOT CAMP DISCOUNTS AND FACEBOOK!

First of all, find me on Facebook and make me your friend. (Also, be sure to “like” USMC Fitness BOOT CAMP on Facebook.)

Here’s how the discount works!

It’s simple: make a Facebook status update and get a discount!

For every status update that you make that references:
“USMC Fitness Boot Camp,”
“Sgt. Tony’s Boot Camp,”
“Tony’s Boot Camp,”
or something similar, you can take $2.50 off your next reenlistment fee for each update!
You can take up to $20 off for any given month!

Your status update has to be a specific reference to USMC Fitness BOOT CAMP or to me specifically by name – there are other “boot camps” out there, you know.

BE SURE TO TAG ME!

You can do the same thing by “checking in” at USMC Fitness Boot Camp either by using Facebook “places,” Foursquare, or any of the other “check in” apps that show up on your Facebook News Feed.

So log on and start getting your discounts now!

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PERSONAL TRAINING!

I’ve got a few prime hours open during the week if you know someone looking for a trainer. I use the facilities at Christ Methodist and the hourly rates are standard for Memphis. Over-all fitness training, boot camp style workouts, strength training, sports specific conditioning and agility (tennis, soccer, basketball, etc.)

TonyLudlow@aol.com or 901-644-0145

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ATTENTION!

THE 0830 AND THE 0645 CLASSES!!

The 0830 Class is standing down for the summer. You 0830 Boot Campers are, of course, invited to attend any and all of the other classes.

The 0645 Class will continue to meet as usual on MWF!

——————————————–

NEW PRICING FOR FAMILIES AND COUPLES

If you’re a part of a family (usually husband and wife) that does USMC Fitness BOOT CAMP together, ask me about it! I think you’ll like it!

———————————————-

WANT TO LOSE 20 POUNDS BY THE END OF NEXT MONTH?

Take Shape For Life is the BEST weight loss program I know of. If you’d like to lose weight talk to me. This is the program I used to lose the almost 30 pounds I gained after knee surgery. Let me help you!

You can also go to www.combatchallenge.tsfl.com/

——————————————-

TUESDAY & THURSDAY EVENING AT ST. MARY”S!!

The Tuesday and Thursday evening walk/jog/run sessions meet at 5:45pm at St. Mary’s track, weather permitting. The Church of the Holy Communion and St. Mary’s School have been kind enough to allow us to use their track, provided that their athletic activities don’t make our use of the track unwise or impossible. My thanks to Julie Fike at CHC for granting permission for us to use their track.

These two sessions are for cardio only – power walking, jogging, running, speed work on the track – at St. Mary’s. (Walnut Grove and Perkins, Southeast corner of the intersection).

You may also choose to run in the neighborhood around the school instead of using the track.
—————————————————–

CALENDAR

A calendar has been added to the official USMC Fitness BOOT CAMP website.

http://www.usmcfitnessbootcamp.com/calendar.html

For you visual learners, you’ll find this an easy way to glance at the week or month and see where the workouts will be, if there’s a venue change.

—————————————————

What would you do if money were not an issue, fear were not a factor, and failure were not an option?

To your optimum health and fitness!

SEE YOU ON THE QUARTERDECK!

Tony

Sergeant Major Tony Ludlow

USMC Fitness BOOT CAMP, Commanding
Mailing address: 4888 Southern Ave., Memphis, TN 38117
Cell Phone: 901-644-0145
www.usmcfitnessbootcamp.com

When we were kids we learned important life lessons just about everyday.

You know the ones I mean.

Dirt bad, ice cream good.

Cute little dogs *will* bite.

Cats don’t fetch.

Kissing dogs, good. Kissing girls, better.

In my early 20′s, I did my first triathlon. At the time I thought that I’d already accumulated most of all the life lessons I’d need for the rest of my life.

Of course I was wrong.

The triathlon / life lessons began two days before the race. Even if you’ve never done a triathlon, I think you’ll see the life lessons as applicable to all of us. This is story that gets requested more than any other. So sit back and take a triathlon trip with me.

Two days before the triathlon at the encouragement of Mike, my older wiser friend, I applied a liberal coat of a new rubber enhancing product to my very narrow bike tires. I’d never heard of Armor All, but Mike suggested that I put some of this rubber rejuvenation on my tires because he thought it would increase traction and make me faster. Sounded good to me.

I was wrong. So was Mike.

On a ride two days before the race, and with a nice liberal coating of that new stuff on my tires, I leaned hard and fast into a sharp right-hand turn. You can see where this is going, right? It was not good. In a nanosecond my bike, turned space shuttle, slid out from under me and we went flying. The flight, though brief, was great. The landing was rough … and abrupt.

My whole right side, from my right ankle to my right shoulder, became a human eraser sliding across the pavement.

Good times.

Grinding along the asphalt at about 25 miles an hour, small rocks, pebbles, grit, and other road debris got embedded into the soft fleshy places on my body that weren’t really designed for that. The result was something euphemistically known among cyclists as … wait for it … “road rash.”

Road rash. Yeah. Whatever.

The result is that I lined up for my first triathlon two days later with my whole right side covered in a liberal coat of Armor All? Nope. Neosporin.

First Life Lesson Learned from First Triathlon: Armor All on bike tires, bad. Neosporin on road rash, necessary. Or, “not all advice from older people is sound.”

If you’ve ever done a triathlon you know that the scariest part of the race is the swim start. There are just too many bodies in a small space and not enough water to race in. It’s chaos. It’s a human washing machine.

Back in those early days of the sport, the race organizers just aimed us toward a small eddy of water in a lake. Then they fired the starting gun and stood back to watch the madness of hundreds of running athletes dive into the same 16 ounces of water and start swimming.

Immediately the swim start became a thrashing and kicking and slapping and elbowing affair, similar to marriage. Marriage to a crazy person, of course. All of us fledgling triathletes tried to make some sort of swimming motion; all of us in this little fishbowl flailing about. The sport was barely 2 years old so almost all of us were first timers. I kicked others as others kicked me. I gouged others in the head, as others gouged me in the head. It looked a bit like Moe abusing Larry and Curly, but without the funny sound effects. “Why youuuuu … I oughta … ”

Second Life Lesson from First Triathlon: Don’t take it personally when others kick and gouge you. They’re just trying to do the best they can.

Thankfully all of that craziness at the beginning of the swim start only lasted for a few minutes, though I was sure it had taken an hour or more. About 200 yards into most triathlons the field of participants starts to spread out and you can find a little pocket of water to swim in. At that point I could actually start to make strokes that resembled swimming, instead of “water kung fu.”

Unfortunately in that initial chaos of elbows and legs flopping about, my goggles got knocked off my face and ended up on my forehead. Plus the road rash stung from the water. And even though the other swimmers weren’t trying to hurt me, every time they kicked or grabbed my right side, it hurt more than just a little. But I didn’t dare stop. THAT would have caused all kinds of stupid stuff to happen. Think massive pile up in the middle of a lake cuz one jughead stopped.

“Why am I doing this again?” I repeatedly asked myself.

Third Life Lesson from First Triathlon: Keep swimming! You’ll drown if you stop! As in life, the universe rewards movement. And as 76 year old athlete Don Wildman says, “when you quit moving, it’s over.”

After about 20 minutes of swimming, I saw the finish line of the swim leg coming up. A few minutes more and I finally reached water shallow enough to stand up in and start running! In a mad dash, we were all running out of the water onto the sandy beach, trying frantically to find our cycling clothes and get into the changing tent.

Yes, the changing tent. Singular. One tent. For everyone. Boys AND girls. Same tent.

In those early days of the sport we changed out of our swim suits and put on full fledged cycling clothes, as if we were going to race in the Tour de France. Nowadays we compete in one suit, never stopping to change. But that wasn’t the case back then when the sport was brand new and none of us knew what we were doing. So we changed clothes for every event.

The changing tent was an old nasty giant green army tent, probably from the Spanish American War, with very little light inside. You could barely see anything. There also wasn’t a boy’s side or a girl’s side. We all ran into the tent and tried to find a place to change. Once inside, my eyes slowly, but finally, adjusted to the dimly lit tent that had that old canvas tent smell. As my eyes adjusted I could finally see the person next to me.

The attractive naked female person next to me.

Jackpot!

Not really.

Ordinarily, an attractive naked woman within arms length of me in a dimly lit room would have been reason for celebration and high fives! I’ve had awesome dreams that started out like that! But such was not the case! I couldn’t have cared less. Really. I’m serious. I was in a hurry to get moving. I hardly paused at all in my frantic fumbling, trying to change into my Tour cycling clothes and get out of that tent! Imagine that, ME running away from a pretty naked woman! And I’m rather glad that she didn’t seem to notice me either. Swimming’s effect on all men renders us all rather … unimpressive. (See Seinfeld season 5, episode 21)

Fourth Life Lesson from First Triathlon: Sorry Sigmund, but it’s not always about sex. Not by a long shot.

Once I had changed, gotten on my bike, and was riding down the highway, I found some other guys to group up with. Drafting was allowed in those early days of the sport, so we formed up like the peloton seen in professional bike races. There were about 10 of us riding together, taking turns at the front of the pack.

Being the lead rider isn’t being in the lead. In a bike race being in front is a duty. Being in front means doing most of the work. So a group of riders will work together. The front rider in those groups is working hardest because he’s riding against the wind resistance. Everyone behind the lead rider can kind of coast in the slipstream. Group riding etiquette says that everyone takes their turn at the front for a minute or so. It also means that there’s a fresh rider at the front every few minutes, ensuring that the group will ride faster as a group than a single rider could do alone.

So there we were, riding like the wind on our fancy expensive Italian and French made bikes, wearing fancy cycling shoes, fancy cycling shorts, fancy aerodynamic cycling helmets, and fancy tight fitting colorful cycling jerseys. We were doing our best to imitate those colorful cycling teams seen racing in Europe. And I have to admit, I felt pretty cool, riding fast and looking like a Tour de France dude!

After about 6 miles into the 35 mile bike race, we became aware of a faint mechanical noise somewhere in the distance behind us. Somewhere back there, something was making an awful sounding noise.

It was a grinding scraping metal mechanical noise. Because we were in a rural area, we thought a farmer had entered the road behind us driving an old tractor, draging an old rusty combine or plow, or something like that. None of us turned around to look. That would have violated proper peloton protocol. And it would have looked uncool too. And we were all about the cool.

As the noise got closer I became aware of a sound that was missing. There was no tractor engine noise. But that sound of rusty, grinding, metal against metal noise kept getting louder and closer. We murmured among ourselves about the noise and the source of it, but none of us could figure it out and none of us looked back.

Finally the noise reached us. And the noise started to pass our peloton. That’s when we got our first look at the rusty old combine.

Turns out that it wasnít a rusty old combine. It was a guy on a bike!! ONE GUY!! Singular. ONE GUY!

We looked to our left and saw him passing us. Yes PASSING us! It was a dude riding a nasty old, rusty, dirty looking 1970′s era Sears Free Spirit 10 Speed “Racer.” And to make matters worse, he was wearing a ratty old t-shirt (that probably had “Cutters” handwritten on it), cutoff blue jeans, a football helmet — that’s right, a FOOTBALL HELMET — and Chuck Taylor high-top basketball shoes … that were LITERALLY duct taped to his pedals. Basketball shoes duct taped to the pedals! WHAT???

And he was PASSING US!!!!

Awwwww haaaal nooo!!!

This would NOT do!

So we stood up on our pedals and started sprinting as fast as we could. We HAD to drop this guy, this upstart hayseed racer wannabe! How DARE he try to pass US!!! Did he not see how cool we looked? How showy?

But the thing is he gained on us and the only thing that kept him from passing us altogether was our united efforts to work as a team and keep him from passing us!

Fifth Life Lesson from First Triathlon (Learned long before Lance Armstrong gave us the phrase): it’s not about the bike … it’s about the motor. It’s not about the exterior, it’s about the interior. It’s not about the flash, it’s about the character.

The rest of the bike race was finished without any sign of “Chuck Taylor.” We raced as fast as we could to the end of the bike leg and to the transition of the bike to run. The organizers had porta potties at the transition area, so I ducked into one of them, changed into my running clothes, and started off on the last leg of the triathlon, a 7 mile run up and down some horrible hills.

At about 2 miles into the run I heard another sound. No, not the sound of grinding metal against metal, but the sound of feet. I could hear the footfall of some guy gaining on me.

Since I’m not a big fan of being passed, I thought I’d better speed up a little. I increased my speed thinking that it would hold him off. But I could still hear the sound of his feet hitting the deck moving quicker than I was.

INCONCEIVABLE!

“OK, time to make this guy hurt,” I thought. So I sped up a little more. I knew one thing for sure, I didn’t know if he was hurting, but I knew that I sure was! I thought I’d just keep that pace long enough to make that sound fade away into the distance.

But nooooooooooooo, this dude kept coming.

“OK man, … you wanna race, fine, c’mon then … I’ll let you get up close and then I’ll really make you hurt, I’ll start sprinting,” I planned.

And that’s what I did … right up to the point where she got right next to me!

SAY WHAT??

That’s right. SHE.

And she passed me. Like … whooooosh!!

It was the first time in my life that a girl ever bested me in a sport of any kind. My Neanderthal ego took a big hit that day as the pitter patter of Little Ms. Speed Demon’s footfall passed me, as her cute little ponytail swayed in the wind and her even cuter booty pulled further and further away from me. That’s just … great. And humiliating. And unimpressive.

Sixth Life Lesson from First Triathlon: It’s not about gender either.

(By the way, I did this triathlon 5 years in a row and this same girl passed me at the same spot EVERYTIME! By the third year I was paranoid approaching the 2 mile mark. “Where IS she???”)

The rest of the run leg of that first triathlon went as expected. Up and down hills in the sweltering July heat and humidity. The finish line was on a horse racing track inside a fairgrounds. Runners were to enter the fairgrounds, run to the track, and then run one lap around the track to finish.

So with “Rocky,” “Chariots of Fire,” and “Eye of the Tiger” blaring from the big speakers set up in the infield, I entered the horse racing track and tried to pick up the pace a bit. I wanted to finish strong.

With about 150 yards to go, I started hearing a wheezing gasping sound from somewhere behind me. “Good lord, someone is dying back there,” I thought.

But the thing was, the sound was getting closer! What???? The dying guy was gaining on me???? With about 100 yards left the dying guy, with the gray hair, passed me. I tried to keep up with him, but I was spent. I had nuthin’! The old dude was crusin’! No way!!! You have GOT to be kidding me!!!

I crossed the finish line, proud of my first triathlon finish, but very eager to find the old dying dude.

You know how people linger after races, eating free snacks and gulping Gatorade. The gray haired dying man was eating a banana when I found him.

“Great race! Congratulations!” I said to the man who humbled me at the end.

“Oh, thanks,” he said, kind of embarrassed.

“You kinda passed me right there at the end … you were moving pretty fast!î

“Oh, I’m sorry,” he said with a slight chuckle. And then with a smile he added, “I hope you’ll forgive me.”

“Um … I hope you won’t be offended by my question … but, if you don’t mind me asking … how old are you, sir?”

Sticking his chest out with pride, he said, “I’m 65 years old!”

“You, sir, are my new role model … my goal … my new HERO!!!

Seventh Life Lesson from First Triathlon: It’s not about age either.

Those are the things I learned in my first triathlon. Not the lessons I thought I’d learn, but proof that one of the cool things about life and about sport is that there are lots of things we can learn, with or without the humble pie!

I’ve done over a hundred triathlons since that first one and I’ve learned something in each one, but never as much as I learned the first time I lined up to challenge myself!

It’s certainly not all about sex … it’s not about being showy … it’s not about the bike or the car or the house or the toys or the other distractions that can entangle and distort our perception of life … it’s not about gender … it’s not about age. It’s about heart and soul. It’s about desire and passion. It’s about determination and courage. It’s about finding your depth and going deeper. It’s about getting out of your comfortable stagnation and standing in the rain for the experience that getting wet will give you. “Comfort doesn’t always serve us.”

“We must remember that one man is much the same as another,
and that he is best who is trained in the severest school.”
~ Thucydides
Historian, “The Great Peloponnesian War (431-404 BC)

Be different. Keep amazing your slacker friends!

———————————————

“Get fit for summer, stay fit for life!”

“If you want to look like an athlete, train like one!”

—————————————-

IT’S HOT, HOT, HOT!

If the heat index is 100 or more, we’ll move the Quarterdeck inside. Be sure to hydrate before the workouts and don’t forget to bring water with you!

The evening class will use the courtyard – where the flagpole is – on days when the heat index is below 100 but the temperature is a little too toasty for the Quarterdeck to be in the fenced in playground.

—————————————

ST. JUDE HALF MARATHON!

The St. Jude Half Marathon will be the first Saturday in December. But you should register NOW if you want to run it! The race sold out last year by the end of August and this year will be no exception. It’ll fill up fast!!! If you’ve never run it, you are in luck! I can train you to run it! But you need to register NOW!

My St. Jude Half Marathon Training will begin on Saturday, September 3. To qualify for the training you only need to be able to “run” 3 miles in 36 minutes or less. YOU CAN DO THIS!! I’ve trained hundreds of first time half marathoners to run it!

—————————————-

RIVER PIRATES SETTNG SAIL – SIGN UP NOW!!

WHITEWATER RAFTING VOYAGE IN AUGUST

The River Pirates of USMC Fitness BOOT CAMP set sail on August 27th! Wanna join the crew?

Would you like to go to the Ocoee River and do some whitewater rafting?

We’ve taken groups in the past to the Ocoee and had LOTS of fun! You don’t have to be experienced at all. Beginners have the best stories to tell!

If you’d like to go, call Ocoee Outdoors (our outfitter), mention my name for the group, and then let me know that you’ll be part of the crew! Ocoee Outdoors is 1-800-533-7767. You can find more details on the website blog called “Whitewater Rafing.”

—————————————-

I GOTTA GUY!!!

I like to share the names of people I do business with and trust so that if you need services that they offer you’ll know someone trustworthy to contact.

1. Rob McGregor, Mr. McGregor’s Garden – lawn mowing, yard maintainence, and such. 901-428-6401
2. Randal Rhea, Attorney at Law. Our own “heavy hitter!” Tickets, criminal matters, divorces, and such. 901-299-0596
3. Richard Bourland – “Your Boot Camp Handyman” – Home Improvement, Carpentry, Custom Bunk Beds and other Woodworking Services, rebourland@yahoo.com, 901.826-6695. www.midsouthbunkbeds.com

You can see a much longer and detailed list of people I refer on the USMC Fitness BOOT CAMP website blog page. Once on the blog page use the search window, keyword “Buddy,” and it’ll take you to that page.

If you drop my name, you might get a discount. But for sure you’ll get their sympathy and prayers!

If you’d like to be listed here in “I GOTTA GUY” just let me know!

—————————————-

UNEMPLOYED PERSON’S DISCOUNT

If you’ve been a Boot Camper in the past and you are currently unemployed, you can get a special discount. Email me for the details. Seriously! Email me! NOW! And don’t be embarrassed. I will make you an offer that you can’t refuse. Seriously.

—————————————

LAW ENFORCEMENT AND FIRE DEPARTMENT DISCOUNTS

Police Officers, Sheriff’s Deputies, and Memphis Firefighters qualify for a special discount! It’s the least I can do to ensure that our law enforcement officers and firefighters are fit for their job!! Pass the word!

—————————————

BOGA tomorrow morning at 0530.

NEXT TUESDAY, JULY 19, MT. FUJI WORKOUT AT 0530 AT THE U OF M!

————————————-

BOOT CAMP DISCOUNTS AND FACEBOOK!

First of all, find me on Facebook and make me your friend. (Also, be sure to “like” USMC Fitness BOOT CAMP on Facebook.)

Here’s how the discount works!

It’s simple: make a Facebook status update and get a discount!

For every status update that you make that references:
“USMC Fitness Boot Camp,”
“Sgt. Tony’s Boot Camp,”
“Tony’s Boot Camp,”
or something similar, you can take $2.50 off your next reenlistment fee for each update!
You can take up to $20 off for any given month!

Your status update has to be a specific reference to USMC Fitness BOOT CAMP or to me specifically by name – there are other “boot camps” out there, you know.

BE SURE TO TAG ME!

You can do the same thing by “checking in” at USMC Fitness Boot Camp either by using Facebook “places,” Foursquare, or any of the other “check in” apps that show up on your Facebook News Feed.

So log on and start getting your discounts now!

————————————-

PERSONAL TRAINING!

I’ve got a few prime hours open during the week if you know someone looking for a trainer. I use the facilities at Christ Methodist and the hourly rates are standard for Memphis. Over-all fitness training, boot camp style workouts, strength training, sports specific conditioning and agility (tennis, soccer, basketball, etc.)

TonyLudlow@aol.com or 901-644-0145

———————————-

ATTENTION!

THE 0830 AND THE 0645 CLASSES!!

The 0830 Class is standing down for the summer. You 0830 Boot Campers are, of course, invited to attend any and all of the other classes.

The 0645 Class will continue to meet as usual on MWF!

——————————————–

NEW PRICING FOR FAMILIES AND COUPLES

If you’re a part of a family (usually husband and wife) that does USMC Fitness BOOT CAMP together, ask me about it! I think you’ll like it!

———————————————-

WANT TO LOSE 20 POUNDS BY THE END OF NEXT MONTH?

Take Shape For Life is the BEST weight loss program I know of. If you’d like to lose weight talk to me. This is the program I used to lose the almost 30 pounds I gained after knee surgery. Let me help you!

You can also go to www.combatchallenge.tsfl.com/

——————————————-

TUESDAY & THURSDAY EVENING AT ST. MARY”S!!

The Tuesday and Thursday evening walk/jog/run sessions meet at 5:45pm at St. Mary’s track, weather permitting. The Church of the Holy Communion and St. Mary’s School have been kind enough to allow us to use their track, provided that their athletic activities don’t make our use of the track unwise or impossible. My thanks to Julie Fike at CHC for granting permission for us to use their track.

These two sessions are for cardio only – power walking, jogging, running, speed work on the track – at St. Mary’s. (Walnut Grove and Perkins, Southeast corner of the intersection).

You may also choose to run in the neighborhood around the school instead of using the track.

—————————————————–

CALENDAR

A calendar has been added to the official USMC Fitness BOOT CAMP website.

http://www.usmcfitnessbootcamp.com/calendar.html

For you visual learners, you’ll find this an easy way to glance at the week or month and see where the workouts will be, if there’s a venue change.

—————————————————

What would you do if money were not an issue, fear were not a factor, and failure were not an option?

To your optimum health and fitness!

SEE YOU ON THE QUARTERDECK!

Tony

Sergeant Major Tony Ludlow

USMC Fitness BOOT CAMP, Commanding
Mailing address: 4888 Southern Ave., Memphis, TN 38117
Cell Phone: 901-644-0145
www.usmcfitnessbootcamp.com

Attention Evening Boot Campers! Since the heat index this afternoon will be slightly warmer than the sun, we’ll move the Quarterdeck inside at 5:45pm! You’re welcome!

It’s that time.

It’s the July installment of “Ask Sgt. Tony.”

Questions, both sublime and silly, real and manufactured, that have come my way that will inform, entertain, and amaze you!

Let’s get right to it, shall we?

Q: Sgt. Tony, what is the best exercise for losing weight?
A: The key to weight loss isn’t an exercise, it’s calorie control. Exercise is THE major component to good health and fitness. But 80% of your weight loss success will be how you restrict your calorie intake.

Q: Sgt. Tony, why is it so easy to gain weight but so hard to lose it?
A: Blame the designer, evolution, or your own personal interpretation. But here’s the explanation, every species, including us, is programmed for survival. Holding on to weight is a biological response to survival. Our inherited genetics don’t know that there’s a fast food joint on every corner and that we aren’t going to starve. So our bodies are programmed to hold on and to conserve the fuel that we take in. Losing weight actually goes against our biology, anthropology, and evolution.

Q: Sgt. Tony, what is the best running shoe?
A: The best running shoes for you are the ones that my friends at Fleet Feet Sports help you to choose. Everyone’s feet and everyone’s gait and style are different. The folks at FFS will help you get into the right ones for you! They’ll video tape you on the treadmill and play it back for you in slow motion and point out the distinctive characteristics of your foot strike and which kind of shoe is best for you.

Q: Sgt. Tony, as a woman I’m afraid of getting bulked up by using heavier weights.
A: That’s not a question.

Q: OK, how do I keep from bulking up?
A: You won’t. 90% of all women in Memphis don’t have enough testosterone in their bodies to bulk up. And even if they did, the workouts of USMC Fitness BOOT CAMP are NOT designed to bulk you up!

Q: What if I don’t live in Memphis?
A: Same difference.

Q: Sgt. Tony, what’s the deal with water and sports drinks? When should I drink Gatorade or Powerade, etc.?
A: All things being equal, you’re fine drinking plain water during boot camp workouts. You only need to switch to a sports drink if and when your workout or run extends to an hour or longer.

Q: Sgt. Tony, what advice do you have for men?
A: Good question. Men, quit saying “can’t wait for x,y,z!” on Facebook. It makes you sound like an 8 year old girl. Men, quit wearing flip flops period … unless you’re at the beach, the lake, or on vacation at the beach or the lake. I don’t want to see your nasty feet at Houston’s while I’m trying to eat my steak. Men, improve yourselves, grow a pair, quit being insecure and needy, and quit acting like little boys. You insecure and needy brothers are giving us all a bad rep.

Q: Sgt. Tony, what are you tired of?
A: Excellent question. I’m tired of Nancy Grace, Paula Dean, and Kathy Lee Gifford. I’m tired of Donald Trump, every Brit on every American tv talent program, and ALL singing competition shows. I’m tired of extremes. Extreme politics, religion, and stupidity. I’m tired of people who indulge in excuses for everything they fail at. I’m tired of people who run a 13 min mile but who get in the 8 min mile corral at big races because they want to be near the front. I’m tired of people who bring their little children to movies and then don’t take them out when they start crying. If you can’t afford a sitter, wait until it comes out on Netflix! I don’t like running out of Junior Mints at the movies.

Q: Sgt. Tony, what are some of your favorite things?
A: Well, just like Oprah, I have some! I really like the last lap of a long swim. I really like my iPhone. I like it when people actually pay for boot camp! I like rocky road ice cream. I like the feel of a tennis ball in the sweet-spot of the racket. I like the last 20 yards of any race! I like leaning hard into a fast turn on my bicycle! I like sitting on my porch and reading on a cool day. I like the recoil of an M-16 shooting downrange at a target 500 yards away and hitting the bull’s eye. (Yes, at 5 football fields away I can part your hair without a scope!) I like icing on cakes. I like well-written books, great music, and awesome movies! I like the smell of bike shops. I like key-lime pie … and chocolate pie … and pecan pie. I like mojitos. I like new running shoes and getting a haircut. (I think Fleet Feet should hire a stylist!) I like making people laugh.

Q: Sgt. Tony, what do you think about the Casey Anthony case?
A: I think that Casey Anthony was a miserable excuse for a mother. She’s a convicted liar. She was a pathetic party-girl from a dysfunctional family. Or so it appears. Did she commit and then get away with murder? Only she and Caylee know that for sure. Everything else is conjecture. Obviously highly emotionally charged conjecture. One of my roommates in the Marine Corps was falsely accused of rape and had it not been for my testimony he’d have been convicted. I’ve written about this case before. And who hasn’t been falsely accused of something that they absolutely did NOT do, but circumstantial evidence made them look pretty guilty? At any rate, irrespective of the verdict, it’s time to move the national spotlight off of this trial, turned media circus, and onto things that are truly relevant to us and our community.

That’s it for this month. If you have a question that you’d like for me to answer next month …

——————————

“Get fit for summer, stay fit for life!”

“If you want to look like an athlete, train like one!”

—————————————-

IT’S HOT, HOT, HOT!

If the heat index is 100 or more, we’ll move the Quarterdeck inside. Be sure to hydrate before the workouts and don’t forget to bring water with you!

The evening class will use the courtyard – where the flagpole is – on days when the heat index is below 100 but the temperature is a little too toasty for the Quarterdeck to be in the fenced in playground.

—————————————

ST. JUDE HALF MARATHON!

The St. Jude Half Marathon will be the first Saturday in December. But you should register NOW if you want to run it! The race sold out last year by the end of August and this year will be no exception. It’ll fill up fast!!! If you’ve never run it, you are in luck! I can train you to run it! But you need to register NOW!

My St. Jude Half Marathon Training will begin on Saturday, September 3. To qualify for the training you only need to be able to “run” 3 miles in 36 minutes or less. YOU CAN DO THIS!! I’ve trained hundreds of first time half marathoners to run it!

—————————————-

RIVER PIRATES SETTNG SAIL

WHITEWATER RAFTING VOYAGE IN AUGUST

The River Pirates of USMC Fitness BOOT CAMP set sail on August 27th! Wanna join the crew?

Would you like to go to the Ocoee River and do some whitewater rafting?

We’ve taken groups in the past to the Ocoee and had LOTS of fun! You don’t have to be experienced at all. Beginners have the best stories to tell!

We have less than a week to get the money in for the trip! If you’d like to go, call Ocoee Outdoors (our outfitter), mention my name for the group, and then let me know that you’ll be part of the crew! Ocoee Outdoors is 1-800-533-7767. You can find more details on the website blog called “Whitewater Rafing.”

—————————————-

I GOTTA GUY!!!

I like to share the names of people I do business with and trust so that if you need services that they offer you’ll know someone trustworthy to contact.

1. Rob McGregor, Mr. McGregor’s Garden – lawn mowing, yard maintainence, and such. 901-428-6401
2. Randal Rhea, Attorney at Law. Our own “heavy hitter!” Tickets, criminal matters, divorces, and such. 901-299-0596
3. Richard Bourland – “Your Boot Camp Handyman” – Home Improvement, Carpentry, Custom Bunk Beds and other Woodworking Services, rebourland@yahoo.com, 901.826-6695. www.midsouthbunkbeds.com

You can see a much longer and detailed list of people I refer on the USMC Fitness BOOT CAMP website blog page. Once on the blog page use the search window, keyword “Buddy,” and it’ll take you to that page.

If you drop my name, you might get a discount. But for sure you’ll get their sympathy and prayers!

If you’d like to be listed here in “I GOTTA GUY” just let me know!

—————————————-

UNEMPLOYED PERSON’S DISCOUNT

If you’ve been a Boot Camper in the past and you are currently unemployed, you can get a special discount. Email me for the details. Seriously! Email me! NOW! And don’t be embarrassed. I will make you an offer that you can’t refuse. Seriously.

—————————————

LAW ENFORCEMENT AND FIRE DEPARTMENT DISCOUNTS

Police Officers, Sheriff’s Deputies, and Memphis Firefighters qualify for a special discount! It’s the least I can do to ensure that our law enforcement officers and firefighters are fit for their job!! Pass the word!

—————————————

BOGA tomorrow morning at 0530.

NEXT TUESDAY, JULY 12, M-16 WORKOUT AT 0530 AT CUMC!

————————————-

BOOT CAMP DISCOUNTS AND FACEBOOK!

First of all, find me on Facebook and make me your friend. (Also, be sure to “like” USMC Fitness BOOT CAMP on Facebook.)

Here’s how the discount works!

It’s simple: make a Facebook status update and get a discount!

For every status update that you make that references:
“USMC Fitness Boot Camp,”
“Sgt. Tony’s Boot Camp,”
“Tony’s Boot Camp,”
or something similar, you can take $2.50 off your next reenlistment fee for each update!
You can take up to $20 off for any given month!

Your status update has to be a specific reference to USMC Fitness BOOT CAMP or to me specifically by name – there are other “boot camps” out there, you know.

BE SURE TO TAG ME!

You can do the same thing by “checking in” at USMC Fitness Boot Camp either by using Facebook “places,” Foursquare, or any of the other “check in” apps that show up on your Facebook News Feed.

So log on and start getting your discounts now!

————————————-

PERSONAL TRAINING!

I’ve got a few prime hours open during the week if you know someone looking for a trainer. I use the facilities at Christ Methodist and the hourly rates are standard for Memphis. Over-all fitness training, boot camp style workouts, strength training, sports specific conditioning and agility (tennis, soccer, basketball, etc.)

TonyLudlow@aol.com or 901-644-0145

———————————-

ATTENTION!

THE 0830 AND THE 0645 CLASSES!!

The 0830 Class is standing down for the summer. You 0830 Boot Campers are, of course, invited to attend any and all of the other classes.

The 0645 Class will continue to meet as usual on MWF!

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NEW PRICING FOR FAMILIES AND COUPLES

If you’re a part of a family (usually husband and wife) that does USMC Fitness BOOT CAMP together, ask me about it! I think you’ll like it!

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WANT TO LOSE 20 POUNDS BY THE END OF NEXT MONTH?

Take Shape For Life is the BEST weight loss program I know of. If you’d like to lose weight talk to me. This is the program I used to lose the almost 30 pounds I gained after knee surgery. Let me help you!

You can also go to www.combatchallenge.tsfl.com/

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TUESDAY & THURSDAY EVENING AT ST. MARY”S!!

The Tuesday and Thursday evening walk/jog/run sessions meet at 5:45pm at St. Mary’s track, weather permitting. The Church of the Holy Communion and St. Mary’s School have been kind enough to allow us to use their track, provided that their athletic activities don’t make our use of the track unwise or impossible. My thanks to Julie Fike at CHC for granting permission for us to use their track.

These two sessions are for cardio only – power walking, jogging, running, speed work on the track – at St. Mary’s. (Walnut Grove and Perkins, Southeast corner of the intersection).

You may also choose to run in the neighborhood around the school instead of using the track.

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CALENDAR

A calendar has been added to the official USMC Fitness BOOT CAMP website.

http://www.usmcfitnessbootcamp.com/calendar.html

For you visual learners, you’ll find this an easy way to glance at the week or month and see where the workouts will be, if there’s a venue change.

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What would you do if money were not an issue, fear were not a factor, and failure were not an option?

To your optimum health and fitness!

SEE YOU ON THE QUARTERDECK!

Tony

Sergeant Major Tony Ludlow

USMC Fitness BOOT CAMP, Commanding
Mailing address: 4888 Southern Ave., Memphis, TN 38117
Cell Phone: 901-644-0145
www.usmcfitnessbootcamp.com

When I lived in Japan I used a computer program called NISUS. It was a multi-language platform that allowed the user to seamlessly switch languages within the same sentence or paragraph. It was an awesome and very powerful tool.

One of the other cool things that NISUS had was an “education assessment” function. For example, you could highlight a sentence or paragraph or page(s) of text and then click on a button and the program would estimate the level of education the text was equivalent to.

This was helpful if you were writing for an international audience where you wanted to keep the level at about an 8th grade reading level. So, you’d highlight some text, click the button and if you got an “8,” then you knew that you were in the right neighborhood. Very helpful!

One day I was curious about The Declaration of Independence so I loaded the document into NISUS and highlighted the preamble to see what Thomas Jefferson’s masterpiece would be. I clicked on the button and the level came to 32!

THIRTY-TWO!

If you went to college, you’d be a 16. Unless you went to Ole Miss or UT and then it would still be an 8.

If you got a master’s degree (3 year variety), you’d be a 19.

If you got a Ph.D (4 year kind) you’d be a 23.

Thomas Jefferson was a 32!

When President Kennedy hosted a dinner at the White House for Nobel Prize winners he said, “This is probably the greatest concentration of talent and genius in this house except for perhaps those times when Thomas Jefferson ate in here … alone.“

Today is July 4th, and the birthday of our country and the anniversary of the death’s of both John Adams and Thomas Jefferson. Though bitter political rivals when they held office, in later life they became very close friends. Adam’s last words on his deathbed were, “Jefferson survives!” Though in fact, Jefferson had died just hours earlier on the very same day, July 4, 1826. The 50th anniversary of the Declaration of Independence.

When I taught high school US History it was often necessary to help students grasp the meaning and language of certain documents in our country’s history. And sometimes I just had to translate the documents for the kids to understand.

I give you the preamble to the Declaration of Independence and my translation for high school juniors.

“When in the Course of human events, it becomes necessary for one people to dissolve the political bands which have connected them with another, and to assume among the powers of the earth, the separate and equal station to which the Laws of Nature and of Nature’s God entitle them, a decent respect to the opinions of mankind requires that they should declare the causes which impel them to the separation.”

Translation.

“Sometimes, like, in relationships, it just doesn’t work out. Sometimes you just have to break up and go your separate ways. You have to be free to be your own man (or woman). You have to be free to date other people and not have your ex gettin’ all up in our business, you can’t be stalking us, or trying to get us to get back together with you. It’s over, King George. We’re done here! Even God knows it’s over and he wants us all to move on. I know you want to know why we gotta break up with you so, I’ll break it down for you. But you need to know, it’s not us, it’s you man.”

Our declaration of independence was an act of treason against the Crown. Our freedom would be purchased by the blood of those Patriots of the past who we celebrate and whose names remain dear to us. Those first Americans who died in the Revolution had no idea at the moment of their death if their lives were being sacrificed in vain or not. Let freedom ring! It was not in vain, you brave and valiant Patriots! Not in vain!

Happy 4th of July everyone!