Sergeant Tony's Blog

Last week’s newsletter got quite a response. Quite a positive response! In fact, it may be the most responses I’ve ever received from anything I’ve written.

I heard from you ladies a good bit, but I heard from you fellas A LOT! Ladies, apparently I hit the nail on the head. My guy friends have confirmed over and over that what I told you last week was right on the money! If you missed it, take a minute to read “Guinevere Knew.”

Now, for equal time.

Fellas, I’m gonna give you a tip that will probably be just as equally applicable in your relationship with your lady as the tip I gave THEM last week.

This probably won’t be earth shattering. And it probably won’t come as a complete surprise, but I’ll throw it out there in the hopes that someone will hear it and heed it.

What do the ladies want from us? What does your woman want from you? Besides all of your money and your soul, you mean? Just kidding, ladies. Be patient, I’m about to help you out.

Our women want two things, actually. At least these two.

But first, a little background on men.

With the exception of the last 100 years or so, the vast majority of advances in human history have been accomplished by guys with a problem to solve or a situation to overcome.

Give us a mission. Give us a despot to overthrow. Give us 10 seconds to stop the world from annihilation. For the most part, we’ll rush the burning building without a thought. We’ll attack the attackers without hesitation. We’ll be so swift in storming the ramparts that it’ll probably surprise you.

Todd Beamer’s wife heard him say over his cell phone, “Are you guys ready? … let’s roll” and then he and some of the guys aboard United Flight 93 attacked the hijackers that day in September 2001.

This is a natural reaction for most of the men I know.

For the most part, we’re decisive, analytical, strategic, and pro-active. I’d say this is true of my male friends. (Your man may vary.) We see a situation and our minds instantly start producing solution scenarios. The Marine Corps trains for this and expects this kind of response from Marines. Failure to do so could get people killed … leading to defeat, disaster, and ultimately dishonor.

Guys, we’re problem solvers. Am I right? That’s my point.

Here’s the problem and the solution … cuz I’m a guy and I’m trying to fix something here!

Fellas, when your lady is telling you about her day, she’s not asking you for a solution scenario or problem solving protocols.

“Honey, today Courtney treated me like crap and was mean to me.”

“Well, just slap that idiot up side her stupid head and don’t talk to the moron anymore.”

WRONG!

Guys, here’s what the woman in your life wants.

She wants you to listen to her. And then she wants you to offer no solution.

I know. I know. I can hear you saying, “If she wants to vent, let her call her girlfriends. That’s what they’re for!”

WRONG!

As much as you value her praise, she values your ear … without your attempts to solve her problem.

She’s a big girl. She can say, “What should I do?” But I bet she seldom says that to you.

See, what she wants is for you to take the time to listen to her. I mean really listen to her. No newspaper or tv to contend with. No game blaring in the background. No checking email or texting while she’s talking to you. She wants your attention.

If your woman is a stay at home mom, she’s often spent the day with the kids and talking on a 5 year old’s level. She’d LOVE some adult conversation when you get home. She’s probably been counting down the hours til you come home … unless you’re a chowderhead. And in that case she probably cringes when you walk in. So don’t be no chowderhead!

Buck up fellas. Give your woman your ear.

Ladies, give your man a little time after he gets home to decompress from his own stressful day. He needs to have a few minutes to recover before he can give you his undivided attention. Let him vegetate in his chair for 30 min.

Now fellas, here’s what your woman wants.

She wants validation.

She wants to know that her feelings and her situation are valid to YOU! When she tells you about a problem or a situation — that she isn’t asking you to solve — she wants you to understand her and to validate her feelings.

“Oh honey, if I’d been in your shoes, I’d have felt the same way.”

She’s not looking for a bullet point solution to her situation. Your woman is an emotional creature and not a member of your research and development committee. Let her vent. Then validate those emotions.

“Oh baby, I don’t know how you kept from ripping that chick’s head off!”

Not …

“Dear, let me give you a PowerPoint presentation on ‘5 ways you can win your bitchy friend back onto your team.’”

Not …

“See, what you need to do is … “

Not …

“If I was you, I’d do … “

Trust me. Your woman is pretty verbal. She probably won’t have any problem asking you for your analysis of her problem if she wants it. And if she didn’t ask for it, don’t go all Dr. Phil on her!

Not all women are the same. I got that. I asked a woman once about her day on a Wednesday evening and she angrily said, “It was FINE, Tony … it was the same as yesterday and the day before that. If anything changes, I’ll let you know!”

Ask me how many times after that I inquired about HER day?

Right. Zero.

Of course, this isn’t to say that some situations may in fact require your immediate intervention. But that’s probably less than 2% of the situations that you’re going to hear about. The other 98% only require you to actively listen and then validate your woman’s feelings. Then hug her.

A good hug is priceless.

There.

Done, all done!

Now, go out there and be sweet to one another.

You’re welcome!

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WEEKEND WARRIOR WORKOUT!

The WWW this past Saturday was a great success!! Thank you to all who came and donated! We raised over $600 on Saturday! All proceeds will be added to our “Tabatha Fund,” to help offset her medical expenses.

Thank you again everyone!

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SILENT AUCTION

The auction is over!

Thanks all! If you won an item, let’s get the item won into your hands and the money into mine!

Check the website blog under “Silent Auction” the last person listed is the winner!!

All proceeds for this are also going into our “Tabatha Fund!”

Thanks everyone for participating in this!

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HAVE YOU BEEN A BOOT CAMPER IN GOOD STANDING FROM October 2009 to now?

(Good standing means that you were paid up for those months … and hopefully you attended regularly, though attendance is not part of this question.)

Contact me!

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TUESDAY & THURSDAY EVENING CLASS

The Tuesday and Thursday evening classes meet at St. Agnes’ track. These are cardio (walking/jogging/running) workouts and they begin at 5:45 PM.

St. Agnes is at the corner of Walnut Grove and Mendenhall.

Should the St. Agnes track be occupied or the field being used, making the track unavailable to us, we’ll go to St. Mary’s track, at Walnut Grove and Perkins.

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0830 HIATUS

The 0830 class is on hiatus. The class will be called back into active duty when the chirrens go back to school! You 0830 Boot Campers join the 0645 class!

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CALENDAR

A calendar has been added to the official USMC Fitness BOOT CAMP website.

http://www.usmcfitnessbootcamp.com/calendar.html

For you visual learners, you’ll find this an easy way to glance at the week or month and see where the workouts will be, if there’s a venue change.

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BOOT CAMP DISCOUNTS AND FACEBOOK EXPERIMENT!

So far this experiment has been pretty amazing!
Here’s how it works!

Make a Facebook status update and get a discount!

For every status update that you make that references:
“USMC Fitness Boot Camp,”
“Sgt. Tony’s Boot Camp,”
“Tony’s Boot Camp,”
or something similar, you can take $2.50 off your reenlistment fee!
Up to $20 off for any given month!

Your status update has to be a specific reference to USMC Fitness BOOT CAMP or to me specifically by name.

“Great Boot Camp workout with Sgt. Tony this morning!” is good!
“I love USMC Fitness BOOT CAMP!” is good!
“I love Sgt. Tony and his Boot Camp ROCKS!!” is REALLY good!

You get the idea! Use your own wording and personality, just include the specifics.

Restrict yourself to just one of these status updates per day. You don’t want 8 status updates in a row going out on the same day!

So log on and get started now!

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WANT TO LOSE 10 TO 15 POUNDS BY JULY 4th?

Take Shape For Life is the BEST weight loss program I know of. If you’d like to lose weight talk to me.

You can also go to www.combatchallenge.tsfl.com/

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What would you do if money were not an issue, fear were not a factor, and failure were not an option?

To your optimum health and fitness!

SEE YOU ON THE QUARTERDECK!

Tony

Sergeant Major Tony Ludlow

USMC Fitness BOOT CAMP, Commanding
Mailing address: 4888 Southern Ave., Memphis, TN 38117
Cell Phone: 901-644-0145
www.usmcfitnessbootcamp.com

http://www.combatchallenge.tsfl.com/esuite/home/combatchallenge/