Sergeant Tony's Blog

Archive for June, 2010

COURT 18 — Sgt. Tony Ludlow’s Newsletter for 6/30/10

Jun. 30th 2010

“If you can meet Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same;”

You enter Centre Court at Wimbledon from the locker rooms by walking through a tunnel and then through a door leading out to the court. Above that door are those words emblazoned on the overhead.

I don’t know this from personal experience. I mean, I’ve never played on Centre Court at Wimbledon, YET … just in case you might have wondered.

Those words come from Runyard Kipling’s 1899 poem entitled, “If.” I’ve copied the entire poem at the end of this newsletter.

I first came across the poem when I was in junior high. I discovered that poets can also be men of action. Prior to that, I thought the only place for poetry was on a Hallmark card, full of sappy, maudlin, sentimentalism or in a teen-aged girl’s diary. I learned that poetry can deal with both the brutal and the sublime, the tranquility of the Grand Canyon as well as the chaos of war.

“If,” along with “Ulysses” by Alfred Lord Tennyson and “Dulce Et Decorum Est” by Wilfred Owen, had a profound effect on me as a teenager. (I’ve written about my discovery of poetry in “Transitive Verbs” from January 27 of this year.)

So this isn’t about poetry. It’s about the message of the poem.

The drama that unfolded at Wimbledon last week, at least so far — the tournament is still going on — didn’t occur on Centre Court where the championship is played. History was made in the first round on lowly court 18, of the 19 courts at Wimbledon. Court 18 isn’t where you’ll find the well known marquee players. The venue is small and has no lights. Tickets for that first round match were plentiful. You could imagine that people showed up wanting tickets to one of the matches that included at least one well known tennis great, only to discover that those matches were sold out.

“OK, what have you got left?” the disappointed Wimbledon spectator asked.

“Well, we’ve got plenty of tickets for court 18,” said the ticket seller.

“Court 18??? Who’s playing there?”

“John Isner and Nicolas Mahut.”

“Who?? Never heard of ’em. That’s it? Nothing else? Well … whatever … I’ll take one.” said the spectator, dejectedly.

But oh … what a sweet and fortuitous turn of events that was! Those unlikely, and mostly unwanted, tickets became the Golden Tickets of the tournament. The Golden Tickets of tennis history.

Everything changed on court 18.

You’d have to be living in a cave not to know what happened in that match. It became the greatest tennis match in history. (Well, that might be debatable.) But there is no debating that it became the longest match in tennis history. It took three days of play to finish it and in the process just about every tennis record in the books was shattered … obliterated!

I started watching it on the first day in the fourth set. If you’re not a tennis player, the men play the best of 5 sets at Wimbledon. It’s not uncommon for a men’s match to take 2 or possibly 3 hours to play. At the point that I started watching, the set count was even, 2 sets each and was already beyond 4 hours long. What followed defies description.

You don’t have to be a tennis fan to understand that what happened in that match was beyond the imagination of anything a tennis fan could have imagined. More than anyone could have conceived. Sports writers and sports announcers have tried in vain to describe it. I heard sports announcers trying to come up with analogies from other sports to give the non-tennis fans a sense of what that match was like. One commentator said that it was like a major league baseball game going 90 innings. Another said it was like a college basketball game going 12 overtimes.

Who knows?

The thing about singles tennis is that it’s just you and the other player. There’s no team. There are no substitutions. No time outs. No half time. No ties. No pep talks, strategizing, or help from your coach. Nothing stops play except in the case of an injury or a rare bathroom break. Or in the case of this match, darkness caused the match to be suspended … twice!

And in the case of Wimbledon, there is no 5th set tiebreaker. You play on.

Anyone who knows the game will tell you that tennis is a mental sport. It requires concentration, focus, and patience. Physically it requires execution, stamina, skill and athleticism. All of those things have a shelf life in a match, a point at which those things degrade and evaporate. After a couple of hours, that’s about it. Beyond that, things fall apart. Fatigue, distractions, cramps, impatience, anger, frustration, mental weakness, personality, weather and a whole host of other variables effect the way a player executes.

Only the greatest of champions can keep it together for more than a few hours. But in the case of John Isner and Nicolas Mahut, they kept it together and played unbelievable tennis for over 11 hours, stretching over three days! I kept waiting for the wheels to fall off. I kept waiting for the sheer pressure, weight, and enormity of the event to take its toll on those guys. Someone was going to start making mistakes. But none of that happened. The match became a reality separate from the tournament itself. And they played remarkable and exemplary tennis right up to the final point.

I was beside myself when the match was finally over! I could barely contain my emotion! I jumped to my feet along with everyone at court 18! It was absolutely the most phenomenal thing I’d ever seen in sports.

I’m pretty sure that Kipling didn’t have tennis in mind when he wrote “If.” He probably didn’t think about a three day tennis match as he wrote that poem. But you’d be hard pressed to find many better examples of the inspiration of that poem, all played out on an international stage.

I found that poem among my grandfather’s papers after he died. If my grandfather, my “Big Dad,” had saved that poem then it must have been important, I reasoned. So I determined to try to conduct my life according to those words. I’ve struggled and faltered, been inconsistent and disappointed in myself when I’ve failed to live accordingly. But always that poem has served as a beacon of what I should strive for, a reflection of what a man should be.

And though the poem is intended to give a young man a vision of what being a man means, I think it applies to all of us who desire to be the best version of ourselves, our idealized self, the highest reflection of our humanity, the “better angels of our nature.”

I hope the poem will be that for you today, a beacon of what we can strive to become. Living to the fullest, one day at a time. Not waiting until the weekend to engage life!

And I hope the folks at Wimbledon will possess the wisdom to have those words painted above the player’s entrance to Court 18.

—————————–

TABITHA’S UPDATE

I want to take this opportunity to thank each of you who donated money or bought items in the silent auction. Our fundraising efforts allowed me to send Tabitha over $2200.00!

Tabitha wrote:
“THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU! Oh my gosh, I am in tears! Tears of Joy, just got the Fedex letter with my card and checks….You guys are the most amazing group of folks I have the pleasure of being surrounded by in spirit. Many many thanks, hugs and kisses to the bootcamp gang!
Love, Tab”

She is doing great and recovery is on track! She told me that she’ll be able to pay off the ambulance fees and make a payment toward her hospital bills!

Thank you everyone! You truly ARE an amazing group of folks!

—————————–

JULY 4th WEEKEND

There will be no evening workout on Friday, July 2.
There will one workout on Monday, July 5th at 7 AM!

——————————————

SELF DEFENSE

I’ve been asked to consider teaching a low cost self defense class on an upcoming, but as yet undetermined, Saturday morning. I’d be willing if there’s interest. Email me or let me know on the Quarterdeck if you’d be interested.

—————————————–

WANT TO LOSE 15 POUNDS BY THE END OF JULY?

Take Shape For Life is the BEST weight loss program I know of. If you’d like to lose weight talk to me. This is the program I used to lose the almost 30 pounds I gained after knee surgery. Let me help you!

You can also go to www.combatchallenge.tsfl.com/

If you’d like more information, we’ll have an informal get together of everyone in the program on Thursday night at 7 PM at Panera Bread. Feel free to come and ask questions or just learn about Take Shape For Life.

——————————————-

BOGA tomorrow at CUMC @ 0530. BOGA is one half hard core boot camp fitness and one half power yoga … BO-GA!

——————————————-

TUESDAY & THURSDAY EVENING CLASS

The Tuesday and Thursday evening classes meet at St. Agnes’ track. These are cardio (walking/jogging/running) workouts and they begin at 5:45 PM.

St. Agnes is at the corner of Walnut Grove and Mendenhall.

Should the St. Agnes track be occupied or the field being used, making the track unavailable to us, we’ll go to St. Mary’s track, at Walnut Grove and Perkins.

———————————————-

CALENDAR

A calendar has been added to the official USMC Fitness BOOT CAMP website.
http://www.usmcfitnessbootcamp.com/calendar.html

For you visual learners, you’ll find this an easy way to glance at the week or month and see where the workouts will be, if there’s a venue change.

——————————————-

If

If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or being lied about, don’t deal in lies,
Or being hated, don’t give way to hating,
And yet don’t look too good, nor talk too wise:

If you can dream – and not make dreams your master,
If you can think – and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you’ve spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build ’em up with worn-out tools:

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it all on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breath a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: “Hold on!”

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with kings – nor lose the common touch,
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,
If all men count with you, but none too much;
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds’ worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that’s in it,
And – which is more – you’ll be a Man, my son!

Rudyard Kipling (1865-1936)

——————-

What would you do if money were not an issue, fear were not a factor, and failure were not an option?

To your optimum health and fitness!

SEE YOU ON THE QUARTERDECK!

Tony

Sergeant Major Tony Ludlow

USMC Fitness BOOT CAMP, Commanding
Mailing address: 4888 Southern Ave., Memphis, TN 38117
Cell Phone: 901-644-0145
www.usmcfitnessbootcamp.com
http://www.combatchallenge.tsfl.com/esuite/home/combatchallenge/

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HE BIT ME!! — Sgt. Tony Ludlow’s Newsletter for 6/23/10

Jun. 23rd 2010

“Diablo” was an awesome dog, a Great Dane, and lived next door to me when I was in the 11th grade. When he bit my arm, several times, it hurt … a lot.

Diablo was a big ol’ goofy dog and my friend. I loved him and wrestled with him almost everyday.

So why’d he bite me?

Diablo tried to climb the 6 ft. chain link fence gate at his house and got to the top of the gate but somehow got his paw caught in the fence. He lost his balance and flipped over the top of the fence on the carport side of the gate. Unfortunately his paw was caught in the fence on the backyard side of the gate. He hung over the top of the fence with his paw and leg caught on one side of the gate and his body on the other side. It was awful.

I was at home when I heard his horrifying yelping and crying and came running out of my house to see what had happened. Carla, Diablo’s 26 year old owner, was freaking out and was on her way over to get me because she didn’t know what to do.

When I got to Diablo he was as hysterical and out of control as a dog can be. He cried and yelped so loudly and so pitifully … and Carla and her two kids had completely lost it.

All I could think to do was to somehow get Diablo’s body back over the top of the gate to take the pressure off his leg and paw. So that’s what I did. I climbed the gate under him, wrapped my arm around him, and put my shoulder under his body and started to lift him up.

That’s when he started biting me.

He was scared and was panicked. He was like a drowning victim who will, in their panic stricken state, practically drown the person trying to save them. Diablo was terrified and in pain and he bit me out of fear and panic. He was my friend. He loved me. I knew that. He was just scared.

I finally got him off the fence. And when it was all over, Diablo had a broken leg and a his paw was pretty messed up. He went to the vet and I went to the ER. Both of us were fine and within a few weeks he and I were wrestling in the yard again and having fun.

Diablo was an awesome dog and my pal. But when he was hurt and in pain and scared and panicked … he bit me. He bit the one person who was there to save him. He bit his buddy. But he didn’t mean to hurt me.

People who are hurting and in pain and scared and panicked will sometimes do the same thing. They will often lash out and be cruel and mistreat the very person there to help them. The person who loves them.

This isn’t an endorsement of that kind of behavior. It’s not an encouragement to act that way. It’s not anything but an observation. I’ve been guilty of doing the same thing. I’ve been tired, hurt, worried, or just felt bad and I’ve been less than kind to those closest to me. Not my finest moment.

One of Stephen Covey’s “Habits of Highly Effective People” is … “seek to understand then to be understood.”

Reserving judgment, not overreacting, and giving people the benefit of the doubt are essential. I call it the “24 Principle” from the television show. The show, if nothing else, teaches that you are a complete fool if you overreact, make a snap judgment, and fail to give others the benefit of the doubt. In fact, the show demonstrates just how necessary it is to suspend judgment until you have all the facts. This is not to be confused with discernment of someone’s consistently bad and irrational behavior. But acknowledging that someone may have pain and suffering, that isn’t evident, is a mark of maturity and wisdom.

Diablo cried and wailed and I knew he was suffering. Your fellow pilgrim, your friend, your partner, your spouse, your co-worker, the person in line with you at the store, though not visibly in pain, may need your patience and understanding more than you could know. And if they bite you … don’t bite back … seek first to understand …

——————————————–

AWOL

Have you been away from USMC Fitness BOOT CAMP for a while? Comfortable in Turdeville? Wanna come back? C’mon then!! I won’t bite you! (see above!)

I know how it is. You miss a day or two … and then it’s been a week or two … and then it’s a month or two …

Get back on track. Come back to the Quarterdeck!

——————————————-

JULY 4th WEEKEND

There will be no evening workout on Friday, July 2.
There will one workout on Monday, July 5th at 7 AM!

——————————————

BOGA tomorrow at CUMC @ 0530
MT. FUJI at the U of M on Tuesday the 29th @ 0530

——————————————-

TUESDAY & THURSDAY EVENING CLASS

The Tuesday and Thursday evening classes meet at St. Agnes’ track. These are cardio (walking/jogging/running) workouts and they begin at 5:45 PM.

St. Agnes is at the corner of Walnut Grove and Mendenhall.

Should the St. Agnes track be occupied or the field being used, making the track unavailable to us, we’ll go to St. Mary’s track, at Walnut Grove and Perkins.

———————————————-

CALENDAR

A calendar has been added to the official USMC Fitness BOOT CAMP website.
http://www.usmcfitnessbootcamp.com/calendar.html

For you visual learners, you’ll find this an easy way to glance at the week or month and see where the workouts will be, if there’s a venue change.

Tomorrow, Thursday, June 24, is BOGA at 0530!

Tuesday, June 29, we’ll be climbing Mt. Fuji!

——————————————-

BOOT CAMP DISCOUNTS AND FACEBOOK EXPERIMENT!

So far this experiment has been pretty amazing!
Here’s how it works!

Make a Facebook status update and get a discount!

For every status update that you make that references:
“USMC Fitness Boot Camp,”
“Sgt. Tony’s Boot Camp,”
“Tony’s Boot Camp,”
or something similar, you can take $2.50 off your reenlistment fee!
Up to $20 off for any given month!

Your status update has to be a specific reference to USMC Fitness BOOT CAMP or to me specifically by name.

“Great Boot Camp workout with Sgt. Tony this morning!” is good!
“I love USMC Fitness BOOT CAMP!” is good!
“I love Sgt. Tony and his Boot Camp ROCKS!!” is REALLY good!

You get the idea! Use your own wording and personality, just include the specifics.

Restrict yourself to just one of these status updates per day. You don’t want 8 status updates in a row going out on the same day!

So log on and get started now!

——————————

WANT TO LOSE 15 POUNDS BY THE END OF JULY?

Take Shape For Life is the BEST weight loss program I know of. If you’d like to lose weight talk to me. This is the program I used to lose the almost 30 pounds I gained after knee surgery. Let me help you!

You can also go to www.combatchallenge.tsfl.com/

——————————

What would you do if money were not an issue, fear were not a factor, and failure were not an option?

To your optimum health and fitness!

SEE YOU ON THE QUARTERDECK!

Tony

Sergeant Major Tony Ludlow

USMC Fitness BOOT CAMP, Commanding
Mailing address: 4888 Southern Ave., Memphis, TN 38117
Cell Phone: 901-644-0145
www.usmcfitnessbootcamp.com
http://www.combatchallenge.tsfl.com/esuite/home/combatchallenge/

Posted by Tony Ludlow | in Uncategorized | No Comments »


DEARNESS — Newsletter of Sgt. Tony Ludlow for June 18, 2010

Jun. 16th 2010

A little boy and his dad found a cocoon.

“What is that?” asked the little boy.

“It’s a cocoon. It’s a little home where a caterpillar turns into a butterfly.” explained the dad.

Seeing a chance to have a little natural science lesson for his son, the dad took the cocoon inside the house so that the two of them could study the process.

Over the next few days the little boy watched in wonder, imagining how the caterpillar was transforming into a beautiful butterfly, and reporting the progress to his dad.

One morning before the dad left for work, he and his son watched as the cocoon started to move and shake. The little boy got very excited and wanted to know what was going on.

“The caterpillar has transformed into a butterfly and is now trying to get out of the cocoon!” said the dad.

The little boy’s eyes were glued to the shaking cocoon when the dad left for work.

When the dad returned home that evening, he found a terrible thing. The cocoon was still on the counter where he’d left it but it was open at one end. On the floor nearby lay the dead butterfly.

The dad called for his son who came into the kitchen to see what the dad had discovered.

“What happened?” asked the dad. “Did you see it?”

“Yes, I saw it and I tried to help.” answered the little boy, trying to hold back the tears.

“What do you mean you tried to help.”

“Well, I watched and watched and watched and the cocoon was shaking and the butterfly was trying so hard to get out. So, I helped him. I opened that end of the cocoon so that he could get out. But when he got out, he just fell on the floor and never moved again.”

The dad shook his head and then explained what happened.

“Son, the butterfly on the inside of the cocoon is weak and can’t fly. So it struggles everyday to get out of the cocoon. As it struggles to get out, its wings become stronger and stronger. When the butterfly’s wings are finally strong enough so that it is able to break out of the cocoon all by itself, its wings are finally strong enough for the butterfly to survive and fly.”

Over 2,500 years ago, the historian Thucydides, writing about the Great Peloponnesian War, said:
“We must remember that one man is much the same as another, and that he is best who is trained in the hardest school.”

He also said, “The state that separates its scholars from its warriors will have its thinking done by cowards, and its fighting done by fools.” These were the first of many things I read about the history of combat and war when I was a young Marine Lance Corporal.

Today it seems the worst things parents can do to their kids is allow them to struggle.

Things are made easy for kids and then made easier again by parents who overindulge, pamper, and spoil their kids. As a parent myself, I know how easy it is to do. We want more for our kids than what we ourselves had. We want to protect them from … the things in life … that made us … who … we … are.

Wait, … what?

In the process, kids get robbed of the opportunities to be creative, to learn patience, to cope, to adapt, to improvise, and to solve problems. Everything is given, provided, or arranged by doting, but well meaning parents.

Then parents get in competition with their friends, who are also parents, as they try to keep up with the latest fad, craze, class, camp, or lesson. The Smith’s have their kids in a slew of stuff, so the Johnson’s kids have to join in too! (Relax Smith and Johnson families … I just picked random names! hahaha)

In 1776, Thomas Paine wrote, “What we obtain too cheap, we esteem too lightly: it is dearness only that gives every thing its value.”

There seems to be a woeful lack of “dearness.”

Some parents I know, wanting and hoping to be good parents, probably need professional scheduling software for their computers just to keep up with all of the camps, classes, and superfluous play-dates. Kids are over-scheduled, overindulged, and egocentric. They have a growing sense of entitlement and a diminishing sense of respect and knowledge of proper behavior towards adults and their environment. A visit to any fast food joint at lunchtime this summer will be more than enough evidence to make my point.

The kids learn that they are the center of their parent’s lives and that mom and dad’s role is to make them happy and comfortable. The kids aren’t an addition to their parent’s lives … they ARE their parent’s lives.

It’s a tough balancing act, I know. But today there’s no act at all. The scales are clearly out of balance.

When I returned from Japan in 1998, I joined the faculty and coaching staff of a local private high school. The lexicon of new words added to my vocabulary during those first few months included the phrase, “participation trophy.”

Say again?

“Everyone gets a trophy at the end of the season, Coach Ludlow, and you need to order them now,” said the Athletic Director.

I don’t have a learning disability, but I had to have that one explained to me more than twice.

I refused to do it.

OMG! You’d have thought that I’d just committed high treason. Parents, teachers, and administrators got mad at me. But oddly enough, none of the kids got mad at me. See, they’d been getting those worthless and meaningless “participation trophies” ever since they were in Little League and another one to clutter up their shelves wasn’t going to mean anything.

No dearness.

Eventually I had to give in and buy the participation trophies … just to appease the adults!

The sense of accomplishment that you get from participating in USMC Fitness BOOT CAMP is measured by a number of things. Two of those sources of accomplishment come from 1) the workout is outside, and 2) the ungodly hour of the most popular class, the 5:30 AM class.

Bragging rights are pretty cool. You’ve chosen one of the hardest workouts that you can do without actually joining the Marine Corps and you’re doing it under Spartan conditions! (THIS … IS … SPARTA!)

Bragging rights … because you struggle and you overcome. Because you work hard and take a backseat to no other workout!

Allow your kid to work hard … and be bored … to be uncomfortable … and to have to wait on things.

Teach them the meaning of dearness.

Give them the gift of struggle. It will make their wings strong. And when it is time, they will soar on their own! And isn’t that what you really and truly want for your kids?

“For he is best who is trained in the hardest school.”

By the way, your kids are most welcome on the Quarterdeck!

———————————————————–

TUESDAY & THURSDAY EVENING CLASS

The Tuesday and Thursday evening classes meet at St. Agnes’ track. These are cardio (walking/jogging/running) workouts and they begin at 5:45 PM.

St. Agnes is at the corner of Walnut Grove and Mendenhall.

Should the St. Agnes track be occupied or the field being used, making the track unavailable to us, we’ll go to St. Mary’s track, at Walnut Grove and Perkins.

———————————————-

0830 HIATUS

The 0830 class is on hiatus. The class will be called back into active duty when the chirrens go back to school! You 0830 Boot Campers join the 0645 class!

———————————————

CALENDAR

A calendar has been added to the official USMC Fitness BOOT CAMP website.
http://www.usmcfitnessbootcamp.com/calendar.html

For you visual learners, you’ll find this an easy way to glance at the week or month and see where the workouts will be, if there’s a venue change.

Tomorrow, Thursday, June 17, is BOGA at 0530!

Tuesday, June 22, we’ll be climbing Mt. Fuji!

——————————————-

BOOT CAMP DISCOUNTS AND FACEBOOK EXPERIMENT!

So far this experiment has been pretty amazing!
Here’s how it works!

Make a Facebook status update and get a discount!

For every status update that you make that references:
“USMC Fitness Boot Camp,”
“Sgt. Tony’s Boot Camp,”
“Tony’s Boot Camp,”
or something similar, you can take $2.50 off your reenlistment fee!
Up to $20 off for any given month!

Your status update has to be a specific reference to USMC Fitness BOOT CAMP or to me specifically by name.

“Great Boot Camp workout with Sgt. Tony this morning!” is good!
“I love USMC Fitness BOOT CAMP!” is good!
“I love Sgt. Tony and his Boot Camp ROCKS!!” is REALLY good!

You get the idea! Use your own wording and personality, just include the specifics.

Restrict yourself to just one of these status updates per day. You don’t want 8 status updates in a row going out on the same day!

So log on and get started now!

——————————

WANT TO LOSE 15 POUNDS BY THE END OF JULY?

Take Shape For Life is the BEST weight loss program I know of. If you’d like to lose weight talk to me.

You can also go to www.combatchallenge.tsfl.com/

——————————

What would you do if money were not an issue, fear were not a factor, and failure were not an option?

To your optimum health and fitness!

SEE YOU ON THE QUARTERDECK!

Tony

Sergeant Major Tony Ludlow

USMC Fitness BOOT CAMP, Commanding
Mailing address: 4888 Southern Ave., Memphis, TN 38117
Cell Phone: 901-644-0145
www.usmcfitnessbootcamp.com
http://www.combatchallenge.tsfl.com/esuite/home/combatchallenge/

Posted by Tony Ludlow | in Uncategorized | No Comments »


Something For The Ladies! — Sgt. Tony Ludlow’s Newsletter for 6/9/10

Jun. 9th 2010

Last week’s newsletter got quite a response. Quite a positive response! In fact, it may be the most responses I’ve ever received from anything I’ve written.

I heard from you ladies a good bit, but I heard from you fellas A LOT! Ladies, apparently I hit the nail on the head. My guy friends have confirmed over and over that what I told you last week was right on the money! If you missed it, take a minute to read “Guinevere Knew.”

Now, for equal time.

Fellas, I’m gonna give you a tip that will probably be just as equally applicable in your relationship with your lady as the tip I gave THEM last week.

This probably won’t be earth shattering. And it probably won’t come as a complete surprise, but I’ll throw it out there in the hopes that someone will hear it and heed it.

What do the ladies want from us? What does your woman want from you? Besides all of your money and your soul, you mean? Just kidding, ladies. Be patient, I’m about to help you out.

Our women want two things, actually. At least these two.

But first, a little background on men.

With the exception of the last 100 years or so, the vast majority of advances in human history have been accomplished by guys with a problem to solve or a situation to overcome.

Give us a mission. Give us a despot to overthrow. Give us 10 seconds to stop the world from annihilation. For the most part, we’ll rush the burning building without a thought. We’ll attack the attackers without hesitation. We’ll be so swift in storming the ramparts that it’ll probably surprise you.

Todd Beamer’s wife heard him say over his cell phone, “Are you guys ready? … let’s roll” and then he and some of the guys aboard United Flight 93 attacked the hijackers that day in September 2001.

This is a natural reaction for most of the men I know.

For the most part, we’re decisive, analytical, strategic, and pro-active. I’d say this is true of my male friends. (Your man may vary.) We see a situation and our minds instantly start producing solution scenarios. The Marine Corps trains for this and expects this kind of response from Marines. Failure to do so could get people killed … leading to defeat, disaster, and ultimately dishonor.

Guys, we’re problem solvers. Am I right? That’s my point.

Here’s the problem and the solution … cuz I’m a guy and I’m trying to fix something here!

Fellas, when your lady is telling you about her day, she’s not asking you for a solution scenario or problem solving protocols.

“Honey, today Courtney treated me like crap and was mean to me.”

“Well, just slap that idiot up side her stupid head and don’t talk to the moron anymore.”

WRONG!

Guys, here’s what the woman in your life wants.

She wants you to listen to her. And then she wants you to offer no solution.

I know. I know. I can hear you saying, “If she wants to vent, let her call her girlfriends. That’s what they’re for!”

WRONG!

As much as you value her praise, she values your ear … without your attempts to solve her problem.

She’s a big girl. She can say, “What should I do?” But I bet she seldom says that to you.

See, what she wants is for you to take the time to listen to her. I mean really listen to her. No newspaper or tv to contend with. No game blaring in the background. No checking email or texting while she’s talking to you. She wants your attention.

If your woman is a stay at home mom, she’s often spent the day with the kids and talking on a 5 year old’s level. She’d LOVE some adult conversation when you get home. She’s probably been counting down the hours til you come home … unless you’re a chowderhead. And in that case she probably cringes when you walk in. So don’t be no chowderhead!

Buck up fellas. Give your woman your ear.

Ladies, give your man a little time after he gets home to decompress from his own stressful day. He needs to have a few minutes to recover before he can give you his undivided attention. Let him vegetate in his chair for 30 min.

Now fellas, here’s what your woman wants.

She wants validation.

She wants to know that her feelings and her situation are valid to YOU! When she tells you about a problem or a situation — that she isn’t asking you to solve — she wants you to understand her and to validate her feelings.

“Oh honey, if I’d been in your shoes, I’d have felt the same way.”

She’s not looking for a bullet point solution to her situation. Your woman is an emotional creature and not a member of your research and development committee. Let her vent. Then validate those emotions.

“Oh baby, I don’t know how you kept from ripping that chick’s head off!”

Not …

“Dear, let me give you a PowerPoint presentation on ‘5 ways you can win your bitchy friend back onto your team.’”

Not …

“See, what you need to do is … “

Not …

“If I was you, I’d do … “

Trust me. Your woman is pretty verbal. She probably won’t have any problem asking you for your analysis of her problem if she wants it. And if she didn’t ask for it, don’t go all Dr. Phil on her!

Not all women are the same. I got that. I asked a woman once about her day on a Wednesday evening and she angrily said, “It was FINE, Tony … it was the same as yesterday and the day before that. If anything changes, I’ll let you know!”

Ask me how many times after that I inquired about HER day?

Right. Zero.

Of course, this isn’t to say that some situations may in fact require your immediate intervention. But that’s probably less than 2% of the situations that you’re going to hear about. The other 98% only require you to actively listen and then validate your woman’s feelings. Then hug her.

A good hug is priceless.

There.

Done, all done!

Now, go out there and be sweet to one another.

You’re welcome!

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WEEKEND WARRIOR WORKOUT!

The WWW this past Saturday was a great success!! Thank you to all who came and donated! We raised over $600 on Saturday! All proceeds will be added to our “Tabatha Fund,” to help offset her medical expenses.

Thank you again everyone!

———————————————————

SILENT AUCTION

The auction is over!

Thanks all! If you won an item, let’s get the item won into your hands and the money into mine!

Check the website blog under “Silent Auction” the last person listed is the winner!!

All proceeds for this are also going into our “Tabatha Fund!”

Thanks everyone for participating in this!

———————————————————

HAVE YOU BEEN A BOOT CAMPER IN GOOD STANDING FROM October 2009 to now?

(Good standing means that you were paid up for those months … and hopefully you attended regularly, though attendance is not part of this question.)

Contact me!

———————————————————-

TUESDAY & THURSDAY EVENING CLASS

The Tuesday and Thursday evening classes meet at St. Agnes’ track. These are cardio (walking/jogging/running) workouts and they begin at 5:45 PM.

St. Agnes is at the corner of Walnut Grove and Mendenhall.

Should the St. Agnes track be occupied or the field being used, making the track unavailable to us, we’ll go to St. Mary’s track, at Walnut Grove and Perkins.

———————————————-

0830 HIATUS

The 0830 class is on hiatus. The class will be called back into active duty when the chirrens go back to school! You 0830 Boot Campers join the 0645 class!

———————————————

CALENDAR

A calendar has been added to the official USMC Fitness BOOT CAMP website.
http://www.usmcfitnessbootcamp.com/calendar.html

For you visual learners, you’ll find this an easy way to glance at the week or month and see where the workouts will be, if there’s a venue change.

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BOOT CAMP DISCOUNTS AND FACEBOOK EXPERIMENT!

So far this experiment has been pretty amazing!
Here’s how it works!

Make a Facebook status update and get a discount!

For every status update that you make that references:
“USMC Fitness Boot Camp,”
“Sgt. Tony’s Boot Camp,”
“Tony’s Boot Camp,”
or something similar, you can take $2.50 off your reenlistment fee!
Up to $20 off for any given month!

Your status update has to be a specific reference to USMC Fitness BOOT CAMP or to me specifically by name.

“Great Boot Camp workout with Sgt. Tony this morning!” is good!
“I love USMC Fitness BOOT CAMP!” is good!
“I love Sgt. Tony and his Boot Camp ROCKS!!” is REALLY good!

You get the idea! Use your own wording and personality, just include the specifics.

Restrict yourself to just one of these status updates per day. You don’t want 8 status updates in a row going out on the same day!

So log on and get started now!

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WANT TO LOSE 10 TO 15 POUNDS BY JULY 4th?

Take Shape For Life is the BEST weight loss program I know of. If you’d like to lose weight talk to me.

You can also go to www.combatchallenge.tsfl.com/

——————————

What would you do if money were not an issue, fear were not a factor, and failure were not an option?

To your optimum health and fitness!

SEE YOU ON THE QUARTERDECK!

Tony

Sergeant Major Tony Ludlow

USMC Fitness BOOT CAMP, Commanding
Mailing address: 4888 Southern Ave., Memphis, TN 38117
Cell Phone: 901-644-0145
www.usmcfitnessbootcamp.com
http://www.combatchallenge.tsfl.com/esuite/home/combatchallenge/

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