Sergeant Tony's Blog

Female problems.

Before you assume that I’m about to dish on my personal life and my struggles to find the perfect woman, you can relax.

Sort of.

I grew up in a household where all of the men in our family would be reduced to mystified silence by my mother. As a kid I remember hearing conversations that might be about my Aunt JoAnn, for example, and my father might say something like, “So, what’s wrong with her?” And my mother would pause …

for effect.

And then, with all of us Ludlow men leaning forward waiting to hear what was wrong with Aunt JoAnn, my mother would say, in a hushed tone, “It’s ‘female problems.’”

ooooooohhhhhhhh??? “FEmale problems. ohhhhh.

What are “female problems?”

Whatever it was, this announcement would bring the conversation to a screeching halt. All of the Ludlow men would just stop, and look all slack jawed and clueless.

And what was an 8 year old me supposed to do, or think, or ask when all of the older Ludlow men looked confused … and then they NEVER asked for an more fuller explanation? That was it. Discussion over.

Once when I was in the second grade I went home after school and walked into our kitchen where my mom and her friend Jean were talking. Jean had a new baby and … well … she was breastfeeding. Now, I had never seen anything like that before in my life. In fact, I was getting an eyeful of something else I had never seen before. And apparently I was just standing there gawking. I had no idea what was going on, but I was very interested. And I wondered if that was one of those female problems. My mom saw that I was gawking at Jean and whatever the little baby was doing and scolded me and sent me to my room. Apparently I wasn’t supposed to look at that. Whatever “that” was.

Women are so confusing, I thought.

Is it any wonder that by the time most boys are 14 we are absolutely clueless and confused about women. When I was in the 9th grade I remember asking my older brother Jack about girls. Being eight years older than me I knew that he would have the answer. He said, “No one knows about women, not even Sigmund Freud.” I didn’t even know who Sigmund Freud was. But I assumed he was the wisest man in the world. Why else would Jack mention him?

If the Ludlow men didn’t know. And if that Sigmund dude didn’t know. How would I ever know?

Today … I got nothin’. I still don’t know.

I graduated from Marine Corps Boot Camp in early December. And this time every year I am reminded of one of the most amazing days in my life. I could write a book about what it meant to me to become a Marine that day. But as awesome as that was, that day was also spectacular for another reason. It was the first time I saw a woman in over three months. During the three months of training I never saw a woman. Not even one.

After the graduation ceremony I stood around with my fellow new Marines shaking hands, taking pictures, congratulating one another and meeting members of our respective families who’d made the trip to Parris Island. My Marine buddy Michael, a member of my platoon, introduced me to his family from St. Petersburg: his mom, dad, and his two beautiful sisters, Susan and Ellen.

I remember standing there speechless. Amazed. Silent. The sound of female voices in conversation was so pleasant, with it’s sing song cadence and lilt. The allure of Susan and Ellen’s laughter, the smell of their perfume. I stood there unable to even make small talk. I was smitten. I remembered Michael’s family sort of laughing at me and his mom saying to Michael, “Tony hasn’t been around many women?” And my buddy coming to my defense and explaining that we hadn’t seen or heard a woman in over three months.

I remember Michael’s sister Susan smiling at me that day in December, extending her hand to me when we were introduced, with a twinkle in her eyes, and saying in a voice that sounded like an angel, “Hi Tony, it’s nice to meet you.” And I just smiled back and said … nothing. Not a word. Not a sound. Very smooth.

I don’t understand women any better today than I did when I was eight, but I’ve never forgotten the great appreciation for the fairer sex that I learned that day in early December. And I’m reminded of every December.

Women are a great treasure. Maybe the greatest treasure. I know I give you ladies a lot of grief, but I’m blessed to have many women as close friends, some of you reading this newsletter! The “grief” is all tongue in cheek fun.

One of my dearest friends to this day is a cutie I dated when she and I were teenagers. A few years ago I was challenged to make a list of 10 people, not family, I’d want to talk to if I only had an hour to live. Jane was on my list.

For you guys with amazing women in your life, be thankful for the color, softness, perspective, friendship, laughter, and beauty that they bring into your life. And for you women with wonderful female friends, you’ve got rich relationships that most of us guys can only envy.

Susan, call me …

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HAIL AND FAREWELL

Boot Camper Allen Redmond and family are moving to Nashville. Boo! Boo! Boo! Allen you’ll be missed!

The Redmonds are selling their house. It’s located in east Memphis on Rosser Rd. just off White Station, north of Walnut Grove. It has three bedrooms and two baths. The school district is Richland/White Station. If you or someone you know might be interested in their home, you can email Allen at redmonda@bellsouth.net

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YUMMY SPAGHETTI

Boot Camper Karen Almand’s husband Sam has started a side business, a dream, if you will, called Sam’s Signature Sauce. Sam’s spaghetti sauce is very good and very reasonable. I enjoyed some just this week! A family serving is only $10! You can place your order by contacting Sam Almand at creativealmand@gmail.com or call him at 901-685-3378

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BEDTIME FOR RICHARD!

My 0530 Assistant and Executive Officer, Richard Bourland is pursuing a dream too!
Need a custom bed made? - Richard is making custom bunk beds, beds and bed assesories. Each bed is made to order in his workshop. There are several models to choose from and will stain to the color of your choice. For more information contact Richard at any of the following: 826.6695, 1-800-bunkbed, www.1800bunkbed.com/901.

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SHELLY IS DREAMING OF A NEW JOB

A new boot camper is looking for work. She’s got years of experience in marketing and communications, and is extremely organized and gifted in account/project management. She will consider both part or full time, as well as organizational/administrative work. If you know of something that might work for her, let me know.

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St. JUDE FULL & HALF MARATHON!!

Congratulations to all of you who finished the half marathon and full marathon! That’s awesome! I was so happy to be out there cheering for you!

I’d like to compile a list of all Boot Campers and people I trained and include that list in next week’s newsletter. Let me acknowledge your accomplishment and your incredible achievement!

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0645 and 0830 CLASSES ARE ACTIVATED!!

The 0645 and 0830, both MWF classes, are back in session!

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TUESDAY & THURSDAY EVENING CLASS

The Tuesday and Thursday evening classes meet at St. Mary’s track. Those classes begin at 5:45 PM. St. Mary’s is at the corner of Walnut Grove and Perkins. In the event of rain, these cardio only classes will be canceled.

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NO MT. FUJI WORKOUT THIS MONTH!

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NEW WEIGHT LOSS PROGRAM!

In the 10 year history of USMC Fitness BOOT CAMP I have never endorsed a weight loss program. I have always given the advice, “eat less, move more.” Which works. But is very hard to accomplish. For this reason I’m officially recommending, and partnering with, the Take Shape For Life weight loss program! This is a very successful and results oriented weight loss program developed by physicians, recommended by over 20,000 physicians, and endorsed by John’s Hopkins Hospital.

If counting calories and keeping up with what you’ve eaten isn’t working for you, let me recommend TSFL.

I’ve written a short description of why I’ve chosen Take Shape For Life on the website blog: http://usmcfitnessbootcamp.com/blog/2009/12/01/take-shape-for-life/

If you’d like to go directly to the Take Shape For Life website and bang around there for a bit. Go to: www.combatchallenge.tsfl.com

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HIRING?

A former boot camper is looking for a job. She’s got experience in marketing, sales, copy writing, and real estate (she’s got her license). If you know of something that might work for her, let me know.

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HOLIDAY HAMS & MAKE A WISH!

Eat at any Holiday Deli and Ham on Wednesday - or cater from there and Make-A-Wish will get 20%! Or stop by the Germantown Rd and Poplar location between 10-2 on Wednesday and by a t-shirt! Or you can call 680-9474 and make a donation or buy a t-shirt, long sleeve or short!

To your continued good health and fitness!

Tony

Sergeant Major Tony Ludlow
USMC Fitness BOOT CAMP, Commanding
Memphis, TN
901-644-0145
www.usmcfitnessbootcamp.com
www.combatchallenge.tsfl.com