Sergeant Tony's Blog

Getting information is important.

Getting the RIGHT information is critical.

Two sources of information you might want to avoid: little kids and aging parents.

Today is my mother’s birthday. Happy birthday day mom! I’m going to call her in a little while and wish her a happy birthday. Today won’t be much different for her than yesterday. Mom is in a nursing home in Fort Smith. She’s been there for over a year now. Bedridden.

Mom’s mental state is pretty good most days. On other days, not so much. I visited her in June and sat by her bed for a couple of hours talking. For the first hour or so our conversation was very normal and she was sharp as could be. We talked about events and people in our family and mom was doing great. And then …

“Son, you remember when you were in 6th grade?” Mom asked.

“Yes, ma’am.”

“And you were in the school play … ?”

“Yes, ma’am.” I answered.

“And you wet your pants in front of the whole audience?” Mom said as she slipped off the reservation.

“Ma’am??” said I.

“Yes, son … you remember that, don’t you?” Mom pressed.

Well, what’s a son to do? What’s a son to say?

Now before you assume that I actually DID wet my pants in the 6th grade in front of the whole audience, you can just relax and let that one go. Never happened. No how. No way. And, “NO!” this isn’t one of those suppressed memory things.

My Dad passed away in January of 2000 after a long battle with cancer. In November of 1999 Dad started to go down fast and they called the family together. By the time we’d all gathered together, Dad had rallied. He was actually doing a little better. We found ourselves at his house just sitting and chatting in small groups among ourselves as Dad slept in his Lazy Boy recliner. There were about 25 or 30 of us in the den including my ex-wife (I know, right?!) and my three kids. When suddenly Dad woke up.

“Y’all!!! Dad is awake!!” my sister Sharon announced. Everyone hushed and someone turned the volume down on the TV that was on for background noise. Dad looked around the room and then …

“TONY??!!” he asked in a loud voice.

Let me just say at this point that the room was full of siblings, half siblings, cousins, aunts, uncles, and a surreal combination of ex-spouses and other oddball family members. And at that point, when my Dad, in front of that big crowd of family, singled ME out … well … I was damn proud!!

“Oh boy!!!” I thought with great anticipation.

“Yes, sir!” I said, chest out, scooting to the edge of my chair!

“BOY!!??” my Dad said in my direction … in a voice that led me to believe that he was not, in fact — contrary to what I was hoping — going to bestow the birthright on me.

“Yes, sir?” I answered, with a noticeable decrease in pride and enthusiasm.

“BOY?!! WHEN ARE YOU GOING TO QUIT SMOKING MARIJUANA AND SCREWING THE GIRL NEXT DOOR??” asked my father in all sincerity.

And then … he fell back asleep.

My sister quickly checked to ensure that Dad hadn’t died, but had just fallen asleep. In those few seconds while she checked his condition, I prayed with all of my might that my father hadn’t just said that and then passed on to his reward. Please don’t let those be his last words!

My sister leaned over to Dad and confirmed that he was just sleeping.

“He’s just asleep.” she said, with everyone looking at Dad intently and with some measure of alarm and concern. And then everyone sort of breathed a sigh of relief … and … as if on command … slowly looked from Dad … to ME, the fornicator and smoker of cannabis!

In that awkward silence, and under the glare of my family (I was sure I saw a few of them slip out to go get some stones to throw at me) I tried to figure out what to say. But I was in shock!

Before I could say anything, my son Matthew broke the ice and said, “DAD!!!” and pumped his fist, grinning from ear to ear, and rescuing me from that angry lynch mob, led by my ex-wife! That pause allowed me to tell them what I’m telling you, NEVER HAPPENED!!

NEVER HAPPENED!

Misinformation about things can really cause some problems. Lots of problems. My Mom thinks I wet my pants in front of the whole school and my Dad believed that I was up to some debauchery and licentious behavior. (I have a theory about my Dad’s announcement that I will share with you individually after a two beer minimum! I’m registered at Huey’s.)

Mom used to watch Jack Lalanne on TV when I was little. Jack, for those who don’t know, was the original TV fitness trainer. Mom would send me to my room to take a nap, which I rarely took (naps are wasted on the young!) and then she’d lay down on the couch and watch Jack exercise until she fell asleep. I could see the TV from my bedroom door and I’d do the exercises with him! He’s been a hero ever since!

My parents were members of their generation. After defeating Hitler and driving the North Koreans back over the 38th parallel, my Dad and his buddies moved to the suburbs, raised their families, and did little if any exercise. My Mom and her friends were likewise inactive. I never saw either of my parents exercise in my whole life. Not even once.

My Mom is 79 today and bedridden. Jack Lalanne will be 95 next month. Jack works out 2 hours a day, everyday!

Jack was born in 1914.

For years I tried in vain to get my parents to quit smoking, exercise, and take better care of themselves. And like most of their generation they sort of laughed at their “exercise nut” son and told me that exercise was fine for “you young people.”

My folks were wrong. And so were most of their generation. Misinformation abounded. No one advocated exercise then. Doctors and nurses smoked and led unhealthy lifestyles right along with the general population. There were few good role models.

Today is different. Great information abounds!
Smoking WILL kill you.
Quit.
Yes, I know. Easier said than done.
Exercise!
If not with me, then some sort of way get out there and MOVE!

Eat less and move more.
Eat less and move more.
Eat less and move more.

If my sweet little Mom had done that, she might be coming to visit ME today on her birthday.

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ANNIVERSARY PARTY!

This month we will celebrate our Ten Year Anniversary! I’m taking ideas and suggestions for a party at the end of the month. If you have a good idea or a party place, pass it on!

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ANNIVERSARY DISCOUNT!

Every August the initial enlistment fee is discounted in celebreation of our anniversary! If you have cheap friends or family, tell them that NOW would be the BEST time to join USMC Fitness BOOT CAMP!

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Today’s Big Three

1. Natalie Williams (Boot Camper) looking for a Marketing/ Event
Coordinating or Advertising job. Has a degree in Marketing Management
and has several years of experience. Please contact nnwllms1@gmail.com
with any leads or job opportunities.

2. Anna Haug (Boot Camper) is looking for a new job. She’s had experience in outside sales.

3. Simple Organizing Solutions by JoAnn Jones (Boot Camper), Professional Organizer (joannjones63@comcast.net
C: 901-292-7607) Customize and help implement organizing systems for clients for their homes, garages, attics and home offices so things can be found readily when needed. Special Boot Camp Rate - Up to 1.5 hour assessment of project(s) and written overview for $50 (book by August 31st).

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8:30 Class Returns in September. The 0645 class will go on hiatus at the end of August.

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HALF MARATHON TRAINING

Half Marathon Training begins on Saturday, September 5 at 8 AM at Shelby Farms!

If you can run/jog/walk 3 miles in 36 minutes or less, you are a candidate! It’s easier than you think! Every year half of the members of this training group are new and have never run a half marathon!

Cost of the three month training is $75 for Boot Campers and $125 for “friends of Boot Camp” (non-boot campers).

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Don’t smoke.
Drink in moderation.
Eat sensibly and less.
Exercise often.

To you continued good health and fitness,

Tony

Sergeant Major Tony Ludlow
USMC Fitness BOOT CAMP, Commanding
Memphis, TN
901-644-0145
www.usmcfitnessbootcamp.com