Sergeant Tony's Blog

MORE TO LOVE

Overweight people live in a different world than the world that isn’t.

I have been learning this more and more over the past couple of years through the Combat the Fat Challenge … but the new reality show, “More to Love” has been a crash course in cross cultural awareness.

If you’ve not heard, “More to Love” is The Bachelor for big people. One overweight guy being pursued by lots of overweight girls.

I didn’t want to watch, quite frankly. I thought it might be exploitative and maybe more harmful than good. But I couldn’t NOT watch it.

Everyone of these young women, overweight for their entire lives, told the same story. One after the other looked at the camera and, through tears and pain, told of what it was like to grow up as “the fat girl” in the class. Most of them, in their mid 20′s, had never been on a date in their lives; never been kissed. (I kissed Carolyn Orr when I was in the first grade!) Everyone of them looked like one of those overweight girls you’d describe this way: “She’s so pretty … if she’d only lose some weight …”

I’m not a big fan of reality TV shows that have people living in the same house, or on the same island, or trying to be the next model or the next chef. All of that catty gamesmanship and back-biting doesn’t interest me. I like The Amazing Race though! I’d try out for that show!

I just recently watched Wipeout and found myself loving it when people got knocked into the water by some swinging padded whatchamacallit. I laughed at these knucklehead’s misfortune. Well, not really misfortune. They auditioned to be a contestant on a show that has “people falling down” as one of it’s major appeals. So those people knew they were gonna get pummeled and catapulted into the water … and look ridiculous in the process. That’s not misfortune. That’s just part of the gig! I think I’d try out for that one too!

And there’s a part of me, a less appealing and immature part of me, that thought “More to Love” would be sort of funny and ridiculous like those other shows. I rather thought “More to Love” would become fodder for some of my foolishness and sophomoric jokes.

Instead, it inspired this newsletter.

What “More to Love” has reminded me of is that the lives of overweight people are much different from the lives of those who aren’t overweight.

Not only did these girls not date in school, they got picked last every time the class had to break up into teams. Even when teams weren’t competing in anything physical they still got picked last. They grew up with few friends … they ate lunch alone … they played alone on the playground … they were made fun of … they went home after school alone and ate while they watched TV or read. Their physical experiences were limited. They didn’t play sports or know the joy of physical achievement.

They grew up in a world of restricted social involvement and opportunity. As they became teenagers they were often times bitchy and mean … as a defense mechanism. They held people at arm’s length or pushed them away all together … as a defense mechanism.

They didn’t really know how to make friends so they became good at hiding behind a tough exterior. An exterior that was as false as a movie studio fortress. They often got involved in self destructive behavior. Their lives didn’t mirror anything like how my life had looked. Nor did it look like how they themselves wanted it to look. They just wanted to be loved.

And this just crushed me.

My heart broke.

I got choked up.

The knight thing again.

I chastised that part of me that was prepared to make fun.

I was glad I was watching it alone so I didn’t have to worry about hiding my tears.

All I wanted to do was rescue all of them!

I wanted to take them all to “Sergeant Tony’s Island for Pretty Overweight Girls.” Kind of like Parris Island without the M-16′s! I’d put together a staff of people on my island (sociologists, psychologists, counselors, nutritionists, dietitians, philosophers) who’d help to alter their self esteem, their eating habits, their self concept, address their insecurities, help them with social skills and interaction with people, teach them how to engage people in such a way as to build meaningful relationships and healthy emotional bonds, address their spiritual selves … and of course I’d work their butts off BOOT CAMP style!

What I was reminded of is that overweight kids are ostracized, ridiculed, and miss out on a lot of very important social skills and life events. They become overweight adults who are missing some very fundamental, and in many cases essential, life lessons and skills.

This isn’t true 100% of the time, of course. I’m not saying that all overweight adults fall into this category. But it was certainly true of 100% of these young women.

On TV these girls were having their first date. Getting their first kiss. And hoping to have their first boyfriend.

I believe that we live in a spiritual world. But we most certainly live in a physical world that judges and categorizes people based on physical attributes. Part of what we do, consciously or unconsciously, is to label people, pigeonhole people, assign people a place based on race, gender, age, social capital, income, and physical appearance … it allows us to deal with that person in a way that is consistent with how we’ve dealt with that kind of person in the past.

Doing this gives us security and confidence, it allows us to know our place and theirs. If every new person we encountered had to be learned without the use of prejudices, stereotypes, and labeling it would make social interaction so laborious and time consuming.

It would also be wonderful!

How many of us KNOW that we are more than the sum total of our race, gender, age, social capital, income, and physical appearance? Everyone reading this knows it!

Nor are we the sum total of our mistakes and failures. Those things don’t define us … unless we allow them to.

There’s that great scene in “Fight Club” where the character Tyler Durden, played by Brad Pitt, declares that “you are not your khakis!”

We aren’t our houses. We aren’t our percentage of body fat. We aren’t our social status. We aren’t our bank accounts. We aren’t our church memberships. We aren’t our cars. We aren’t our jobs. We aren’t our country club memberships. We aren’t our zip codes.

Take time to get to know people … all over again. Start by introducing yourself to the person known by your name.

And we aren’t our bodies.

We are something much much deeper and more eternal than those things.

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ANNIVERSARY PARTY!

This month we will celebrate our Ten Year Anniversary! I’m taking ideas and suggestions for a party at the end of the month. If you have a good idea or a party place, pass it on!

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ANNIVERSARY DISCOUNT!

Every August the initial enlistment fee is discounted in celebreation of our anniversary! If you have cheap friends or family, tell them that NOW would be the BEST time to join USMC Fitness BOOT CAMP!

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RECORD BROKEN!

Wednesday night the record attendance for the evening class was SHATTERED!! Our previous evening class record had been 38. Last night we were 45 strong! Checkout my Facebook page photos for a pic of that fine group! If you were there, tag yourself! Be proud! Thanks everyone!! That’s pretty cool to break a record here at our 10 year anniversary!! Wow!!

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Today’s Big Three

1. Natalie Williams (Boot Camper) looking for a Marketing/ Event
Coordinating or Advertising job. Has a degree in Marketing Management
and has several years of experience. Please contact nnwllms1@gmail.com
with any leads or job opportunities.

2. Anna Haug (Boot Camper) is looking for a new job. She’s had experience in outside sales.

3. Simple Organizing Solutions by JoAnn Jones (Boot Camper), Professional Organizer (joannjones63@comcast.net
C: 901-292-7607) Customize and help implement organizing systems for clients for their homes, garages, attics and home offices so things can be found readily when needed. Special Boot Camp Rate – Up to 1.5 hour assessment of project(s) and written overview for $50 (book by August 31st).

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8:30 Class Returns in September

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Half Marathon Training begins on Saturday, September 5!

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Do better tomorrow.

Sergeant Major Tony Ludlow
USMC Fitness BOOT CAMP, Commanding
Memphis, TN
901-644-0145
www.usmcfitnessbootcamp.com

Evening Record Breakers