Sergeant Tony's Blog

Occasionally I attend a movie that is so bad that it makes the petroleum product sold at the snack bar — nacho cheese sauce — look tasty. I thought that “Grindhouse” or “Glitter” would never be eclipsed in the area of worst movies ever made.

I was wrong.

I saw a movie that makes “The Robot vs. The Aztec Mummy” or “Battlefield Earth” look like “Lawrence of Arabia” or “Citizen Kane.” This movie was more depressing than a Gatti, Keltner, Bienvenu, & Montesi commercial and about as well acted. It was a movie that inspired me to go to the bathroom. I even took a break to inventory the goodies at the snack bar. (They did NOT have Junior Mints. Completely unacceptable!)

Do not see “The Year of the Dog” which should have been called “The Movie is a Dog.”

Molly Shannon, the SNL alum who is most remembered for her “SupaStah,” Mary Katherine Gallagher, portrays “Peggy,” a neurotic out of touch with reality woman whose dog, “Pencil,” (the subject of her misplaced love and emotions) dies early in the movie. The dog got out of her yard, went next door, and ate rat poison that was stored in her neighbor’s garage. The death of Pencil pushes Peggy further down Weirdo Road. She becomes a vegan, embezzles money from her company to fund animal rights groups, puts her sister in law’s minks in a bathtub and fills it full of water, breaks into her neighbor’s house and attacks him with a knife because she blames him for Pencil’s demise, tries to make out with a guy she meets at the animal shelter who is even a bigger fruit cake than she is. The pain and discomfort of this movie ended only when the credits started rolling.

I give this movie ½ a paw out of 5 paws possible.