My favorite Esquire magazine feature is called “What I’ve Learned.”
It’s not written by a magazine staffer. it’s written by famous non-staffers. Guys like Dennis Hopper, Robert De Nero, Jeff Bezos, Rodney Dangerfield, John McCain, and Evel Knievel have contributed.
Sunday was my birthday and I thought maybe Esquire would ask me to write for that [...]
I was eight years old when I joined the judo club.
Pee wee football and basketball were over and little league baseball practice hadn’t started yet. So judo looked like something fun to do until baseball season started. The club’s Sensei (teacher) was a police officer and a 3rd degree black belt. With about 80 [...]
She was pretty.
Prettier than the other girls she was with.
But I knew she was trouble from the instant I laid eyes on her.
I wanted to meet her, but there were barriers both real and social.
I went through a mutual friend. He arranged the meeting. I was too chicken to approach her without someone [...]
There was nothing I could do to stop it.
The seconds passed away and the quarter was over and we went into the dressing room up by 20 points at halftime.
What couldn’t I stop?
I was the head coach of the varsity boy’s basketball team and I couldn’t stop the halftime celebrations going on [...]
“If you can meet Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same;”
You enter Centre Court at Wimbledon from the locker rooms by walking through a tunnel and then through a door leading out to the court. Above that door are those words emblazoned on the overhead.
I don’t know this from personal experience. [...]
“Diablo” was an awesome dog, a Great Dane, and lived next door to me when I was in the 11th grade. When he bit my arm, several times, it hurt … a lot.
Diablo was a big ol’ goofy dog and my friend. I loved him and wrestled with him almost everyday.
So why’d he bite me?
Diablo [...]
A little boy and his dad found a cocoon.
“What is that?” asked the little boy.
“It’s a cocoon. It’s a little home where a caterpillar turns into a butterfly.” explained the dad.
Seeing a chance to have a little natural science lesson for his son, the dad took the cocoon inside the house so that [...]
Last week’s newsletter got quite a response. Quite a positive response! In fact, it may be the most responses I’ve ever received from anything I’ve written.
I heard from you ladies a good bit, but I heard from you fellas A LOT! Ladies, apparently I hit the nail on the head. My guy friends have [...]
Well, I think it’s official.
I won’t be on Oprah.
Being on Oprah was on my bucket list, my vision board, my astral projection star chart. Oh well.
Since Queen O will be leaving daytime TV and I’m pretty sure she’s got her guest list all worked out up to the last show, I’m thinkin’ I didn’t make [...]
I lied. I’ll admit it.
I was in the O’Hare Airport in Chicago and I lied to a sweet little old lady. I just couldn’t help myself.
I was on active duty and in uniform. (FYI, if you see men and women in an airport and they’re wearing a camouflaged uniform, they aren’t Marines. It’s against Marine [...]
